Post-traumatic growth, as the term suggests, is predicated on experiencing trauma. However, is suffering always necessary for growth? Research shows that highly positive experiences can lead to as much growth as highly negative events, provided we find meaning in them. There is, indeed, a phenomenon of post-ecstatic growth. Yet, we often overlook positive events as opportunities for personal development, both individually and on a societal level.

Research Finding 1: Post-traumatic Growth

We often view resilience as a set of necessary and universal components (e.g., traits, skills, or circumstances) that individuals must possess or apply to recover from setbacks. While certain factors (e.g., good relationships) are undoubtedly beneficial, there are no definitive answers to what makes people resilient. A recent study by Bonano (2024) suggests that resilience is a highly individualistic concept. In fact, much of what constitutes resilience is not understood by researchers. Instead, resilience can be seen as a constellation of unique factors that may vary for each person.

Research Finding 2: Resilience (part 1)

Think of a time when you went through a challenging experience. Although things were difficult, you felt that you could handle the situation. You had a sense of self-efficacy and were able to maintain your psychological well-being. What helped you? Asking this question to 10 different people could reveal 10 different answers. It’s crucial for each of us to explore what helps us personally to build confidence in our ability to bounce back and recover from setbacks.

Implications

For resilience researcher Michael Ungar, resilience is not a DIY endeavor, but rather, a dynamic process that involves the outside world. As such, resilience is not entirely dependent on being “rugged,” but more on being “resourced.” This means that, in order to cope with difficult situations, resilient people are able to navigate towards the resources that they need. Consider the story of Cinderella. While we commonly attribute her triumph over her unfortunate circumstances to her personal characteristics, Ungar reminds us of another key factor of her resilience: the fairy Godmother.

Research Finding 3: Resilience (part 2)

Don’t underestimate the role of outside support in igniting your inner strengths. Whenever you feel that you’re not coping well with a challenging situation, don’t judge or blame yourself. Instead, it might be a question of missing resources. Or, perhaps, you have the resources (for example, friends that you can count on), but you are not using them (you don’t reach out). Instead, ask yourself: <ul><li>What do I need to handle the situation better? </li><li>If I have what I need, how can I integrate it into my circumstances? </li><li>If I don’t have what I need, who can I ask for help? </li></ul>

Depending on our biology and experiences, people tend to default to different states. Sometimes, we can feel stuck in one of these states.Whenever we experience psychological unease, it can be helpful to intentionally check in with our minds and bodies. We first need to understand where we are, before we can determine what we need to move to another state.

Typically, we reach for psychological remedies for our unhappiness. But when someone asks me, “What should I do to become happy?” I tell them to consider their sleep, what they eat, and how much they exercise. Change your basic health habits first. If you still feel unhappy afterwards, we can then explore your psychology.

Research Finding 5: Take Care of Your Body

If you want to feel better, start by focusing on your body. We often over-psychologize problems that arise from spending countless hours in front of screens, instead of engaging in activities our brains and bodies were designed for. Research consistently demonstrates the link between our physical and mental well-being. In fact, one of the most intriguing findings in psychology is that exercise can be as effective against depression as antidepressants. Making small adjustments to our daily routine to support good sleep, nutrition , and exercise can make a significant difference for our minds.

A good life is one lived in such a way that, if I were to die tomorrow, I would be at peace with it. A good life is one that contributes to the well-being of others. A good life is balanced, allowing space for both joy and suffering. It involves acknowledging the bad while also appreciating the good, embracing the entirety of life without judgment.

What is A Good Life?

Here are three suggestions from Paul Gilbert for how to do that. <ol><li>Identify where you are. </li><li>Appreciate where you are, without judgment. </li><li>Navigate to another state. </li></ol>While we strive to leave the difficult emotional states as quickly as possible, simply attending to our suffering with tenderness can often help us move through it.

Check-In In Order To To Check-Out

Reflect on the most positive experiences in your life. What lessons have you gained from them? How can you use these insights to improve your well-being and those of others? This message is empowering, as it highlights that life, in its entirety, has the potential to foster our growth. Both our challenges and triumphs can contribute to our development as human beings.

In his Compassion Focused Therapy (2014), psychologist Paul Gilbert identified 3 different emotion regulation systems:<ol><li>Threat-protection system (involved in detecting and responding to threats, common emotions of this system are anger, anxiety, disgust)</li><li>Positive affects of seeking, achieving and acquiring (positive emotions that are stimulating and activating, such as joy, vitality and excitement)</li><li>Positive affects of contentment, safeness, peacefulness, and affiliation (a state of calm and restful well-being where one is not under threat nor trying to achieve something). </li></ol>

4. Self-compassion

There is a common misconception that positive psychology overlooks human suffering and focuses solely on the favorable aspects of life. In reality, as Mangelsdorf explains, the scope of positive psychology research is far more balanced than is often presumed. “The word 'positive' in positive psychology refers to what is needed for fostering positive development in one’s circumstances, regardless of one’s starting point, whether as an individual, an organization or a country.”

What It Is To Overlook And What To Have An Outlook

This is the conclusion that Judith Mangelsdorf, Germany’s pioneering professor of positive psychology, reached while helping individuals across Europe lead better lives. Although we strive to seek it in ourselves, happiness, says Mangelsdorf, is often found in our connection with others. Echoing the words of her mentor Martin Seligman, the founder of positive psychology, Mangelsdorf asserts that the single most effective way to improve our mood when we feel down is to help someone else. Even the smallest step to foster connection can turn into a significant investment in our well-being.

Our Quest For Happiness Is Often Misguided

Consider Cinderella and the fairy Godmother.

Positive psychology research can help us lead better lives. Here are examples from studies on post-traumatic growth, resilience, and self-compassion.

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