Negative Bias And Personalizing Problems - Deepstash

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What to Do If Your Boss Doesn’t Like You

Negative Bias And Personalizing Problems

Humans have a negative bias and tend to create or personalize any problem even when there are many factors that are not in one’s knowledge.

Do not be a leech just because you have this hunch that the boss doesn’t like you. It also not a good idea to complain or gossip about your boss to others, as word-of-mouth is fast.

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Putting your knowledge and skills in perspective
Putting your knowledge and skills in perspective

When you're feeling notably uncertain about a something, take the time perform an audit, in the objective terms possible.

Ask yourself: What is my knowledge base, and what are my previously demonstrated skills? The former might be lacking, but the latter often equips me to learn quickly.

Playing the part

Competency requires practice. It doesn't get easier overnight.

Playing the part doesn't mean to just fake it, even if there are some benefits to that, too. Instead, by diving in and doing the work even if you don’t feel 100% prepared, your skillset will start to improve as you get more practice.

Clarifying questions in uncertain situations

When you’re really unsure, asking questions may be last thing you'd want to do, because it could feel like turning on a spotlight when all you want to do is go unnoticed. But masking uncertainty tends to amplify it.

In many situations, questions are an important tool: the more comfortable you get asking for clarification or help, the smoother the path is down the road.

Writing down our memories
Writing down our memories

There is a difference between seeing - which is passive - and writing down something you have seen, something you have heard, something you have experienced. Writing it down captures the memory and acknowledges its existence.

Anne Frank (though her diary) is one of the best examples we have in history of someone bearing witness. She simply wrote down what was happening to her family, giving us a very intimate record of her family during one of the worst periods of our world's history.

Writing to bear witness
  • Brainstorm and jot it down: Start with the prompt, "The time when..." List at least ten things.
  • Narrow it down and focus: Go back to your list of ten and pick three things that are really bothering you, and you feel strongly about. Take 30 minutes of uninterrupted time to write. Focus on the details, the order of events, and especially how they made you feel.
  • Pick one and tell your story: You don't have to write a memoir or be a creative writer. You can also write it from someone else's perspective. Writing it down is to say that this thing did happen.
Great Leadership
Great Leadership

Great leaders inspire people to do better and develop their skills because leaders with a great leadership style can make anyone appear more competent than they actually are, and that builds confidence within the individual.

However, leaders who do have poor methods can drag down an individual with an exceptional skill set or even the whole team.

Social Markers in the Workplace

Great leadership style is different from your own personality. It derives from the social markers that we express in the workplace.

The signals we send to others about our status fall into two categories: Power and Attractiveness.

  • Powerful markers are associated with expressions of confidence and competence along with abrasiveness and intimidation.
  • Attractive markers are related to expressions of agreeableness and likability but also diffidence and submissiveness.
Blended Leadership Style

Our default leadership style is called natural style. Whenever we are in neutral situations it is our selected option and we behave relatively powerful with it.

Natural style has five categories: powerful, lean powerful, blended, lean attractive, and attractive.

A blended style is best described as having "presence". It is rare because it involves an equal use of both power and attractiveness markers.