The upside of being awkward

These days, there are apps to deliver everything from groceries to toothpaste to tacos. Combine this with services that let you stream more media than you could ever consume in a lifetime, and it’s easy to spend most of your time inside, at home.

• Shop for groceries in person instead of online.
• Go out to eat instead of ordering delivery (bonus points if you invite a friend or family member).
• See a movie at the theater instead of streaming it.
• Buy books at a local bookstore instead of on Amazon.

Wearing headphones says, “Please don’t talk to me, I don’t want to be bothered.” This is great when you don’t want your coworkers to interrupt you, but it’s terrible when you want to connect with people.

Putting away the headphones (or taking out the AirPods) opens you up to more social interactions. Plus, you’ll notice new sonic details such as the song of a particular bird or the hum of different passing vehicles. Your experience of the world will be richer overall.

Human beings form social circles averaging to 150 individuals; this is called the Dunbar’s Number.

A lack of people around us can actually make our brain shrink. The region known for formation of new memories, called the 'dentate gyrus', reduces in size if there is no human interaction. There is also a reduction in spatial processing (locating objects in a given space) and focus.

Positive solitude is a state of being alone without being lonely, in a contented manner.

Loneliness, on the other hand, is isolation with a hunger for social contact, something that distorts one’s perceptions, damaging the ability to interact in a normal way with others. It also lowers one’s self-esteem leading to a loneliness loop, characterized by social withdrawal and depression.

The busyness of many people's adult lives can cause them to quickly lose contact with friends.

One study found that people had lost touch with about half of their closest friends over a period of seven years. What's more is that we are often losing friends faster than we can replace them. If we are not careful, we risk living out our adulthood without friends.

Making more friends in adulthood will take some deliberate effort. One challenge may be to put yourself out there, as it can trigger fear of rejection.

You may engage in two types of avoidance to prevent you from making new friends.

1. You may practise 'overt avoidance' by not putting yourself in a situation where it's possible to meet new people.
2. You may engage in 'covert avoidance', which means you show up but don't engage with people once you are there.