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How to make people like you – virtually
Being prepared for virtual meetings
Zoom meetings could be used to grow a connection and build ideas. It's important to be fully present.
- Prepare for virtual meetings as you would for any other. If you're meeting a new colleague, find out what their history is and what interests or motivates them.
- Use the features of the software you're using to your advantage. For team drinks, add virtual backgrounds that tell people something about you or something funny. Zoom backgrounds can block out any distracting clutter. If you want to use virtual backgrounds, a simple and neutral background can help your audience to focus on what you're saying.
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Key Ideas
Remote work and the lack of context around communication
Virtual communication often lacks the nonverbal clues we notice with in-person conversations.
To compensate, we often make assumptions or jump to conclusions that can cause harm to our work...
Virtual communication: how to avoid misunderstandings
Instead of acting on your assumptions, go to the facts. Understanding the individual styles of employees can also give interactions more context and help avoid misunderstandings.
- Prioristizers are logical, analytical, and data-oriented people who focus on goals and outcomes. They don't like to engage in chitchat.
- Planners thrive with structure, planning, and talking about the details. They often communicate in bullet points and numbers.
- Arrangers are supportive, relationship-driven team members who work best when they form connections.
- Visualizers are big-picture thinkers who want minimal details. They will often email at the last minute, and apologize for short deadlines.
Virtual work: adjust your communication and expectations
To avoid unnecessary conflict, it is essential to understand the nuances of colleagues and how they work.
Accept that others may not work and communicate the same way you do. If you see someone looking to the side during a video conference, instead of thinking they are not paying attention, understand that they may really be taking notes. Another person may want to spend time on a connection before they engage with the content.
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Key Ideas
Weak Words Used Often
Every word you use while working expresses something about your personal brand, your confidence, state of mind, authority and knowledge. The verbs that we put in sentences are key to our ima...
'Think'
We use "I think: often while at work, but it's a dysfunctional addition to a start of a sentence, that while ok to use occasionally in trivial situations, is to be avoided in meetings or one-on-ones.
Try replacing it with "I'm confident".
'Need'
When we use "I need" at the start of a sentence it sounds like pleading rather than empowered. It makes us sound needy.
Swap "I need" with "Please" to sound polite and confident.
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Key Ideas
Linguistic mirroring: The secret to connecting with someone
The secret to connecting with someone is to simply copy their body language. Linguistic mirroring, where you mimic someone's communication style, can also make...
Make your voice stand out
If you present something in a way that the other person is used to hearing, it's easier for them to process the essence of that argument.
A study that looked at the legal profession and how linguistic mirroring could help lawyers get on the good side of judges found that if the legal teams more closely mirrored a judge's preferred writing style in documents, their chance of winning went up by 25%.
Linguistic mirroring: Reaping the benefits
To use linguistic mirroring effectively, pay attention to how people ask their questions, and notice what pieces of presentations they find compelling. In writing, observe how your colleagues compose an email, memos, or a chat, and match the form and sentiment.
The rewards of observation and application can result in sealing a deal with a client, impressing the right executive, or building mutually beneficial relationships with people in your organisation.