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Saying Stuff We Regret
- We are all social creatures, susceptible to say something that may offend others.
- We blurt out stuff, and it is at most a harmless mistake to us, but words hurt others more than anything.
- The wound our words make is an internal one and as needs a ‘repair’ process that is not like simply apologizing when we accidently bump into someone on the elevator.
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MORE IDEAS FROM THE SAME ARTICLE
- We might want to assess the actual harm and find out the depth of the wound.
- Don’t say ‘Why are you so mad?’, but frame it as ‘What did i do?’
- Don’t gaslight the problem, but say something supportive, realistic and helpful, like you understand and fee...
- Take responsibility instead of making excuses or being defensive, or worse, accusing the other person subtly.
- When words touch an emotional wound, we don’t need to delve deep and try to clear our name. Feelings are different from facts, and we can forget about an objective discussi...
- Have an uneventful, normal interaction with the person that you hurt with your words, so that the relationship can move forward.
- If after all your efforts, the person is still hurt like anything, then it is best to offer another sincere apology and move on, disengaging from the per...
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According to a report in The Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, an acquaintance has a chance of being your friend after about 50 hours of shared activity or discussions. A friend can be a close (or best) friend after about 200 hours.
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We all cause harm to our partner and the intimacy between us. We make mistakes that are foolish and unintentional and sometimes launch attacks on purpose.
When you wound another, apologize. Don't ignore the mistakes. When you inflict wounds, they can accumulate. Unacknowledged w...
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