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Behaviour starts instinctive and conditioned
- A child learns about the world through reflex and conditioning. A baby cries, and someone comes to help. They do something and get rewarded.
- Then behaviour becomes reasoned and chosen. As a person grows, so reflex and conditioning are replaced by desire, choice, reasoning and consequence. Physical development is also occurring. We may think and then do, but also do and then think.
- Positive change needs to appeal to both as it needs to challenge ingrained habits.
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Seeking change as adults
As adults, when we want to change something we might seek help - join a gym, or take lessons, or see a coach. Regarding DILT, the teachers often teach from the bottom up. They give classes and tools and continue to encourage us.
But, people prefer efficiency instead of effectivenes...
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The gap between knowing and doing
We often know what we should be doing, but find there is a gap between knowing it and doing it.
What sets us in motion is usually external. We may suddenly have no choice, or someone may incentivize us. However, when it is internal, we often indefinitely postpone what we k...
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Using behavioural interventions
By using simple behavioural interventions, we can create helpful habits. Instead of only identifying a negative behaviour and then trying to avoid it, we can find a substitution which we love, and that will give us a sense of joy, such as eating a healthy snack or texting a friend.
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Why you can't do what you should do
A potential answer comes from Robert Dilt's logical levels of change, modelled in a hierarchy.
- Purpose (What else?)
- Identify (Who?)
- Values and beliefs (Why?)
- Capabilities (How?)
- Behaviours (What?) ...
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Behavior change: techniques to try
- If you are putting off a difficult conversation, identify what makes you feel really good, and do that when you get a moment. Doing so will remind you that you worth caring about. When you feel good, you feel more capable of doing the hard thing.
- Instead of "dump t...
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