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Martirms Grey

@martirms

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Developing insight about yourself

Two perspectives can help to develop self-knowledge.

  • The "inside" view. This kind of self-awareness you gain from life experiences, such as a breakup, or finally knowing what you want in life. This knowledge underpins much of our motivation but tends to be hard to write down.
  • The "outside" view. You can gain this perspective from reading psychology, economics, neuroscience, and religion. This perspective doesn't explain your situation but can offer ideas for all situations.

@martirms

How to Improve Your Self-Awareness | Scott H Young

scotthyoung.com

Wisdom is gained from experience. But our experience is also very narrow and a fragment of the possible lives we could have lived.

  • We can broaden our range of experience by trying a bunch of things. While this may sound silly to someone who is struggling, it is often a good answer.
  • To take full advantage of our limited experiences, we can document and measure them. We often fail to build on past successes because we don't take count of the foundation that was laid beforehand.
  • Talk to more people. Other people can offer a valuable outside perspective on your inside view.

The outside view is broad but often lack details. The solution to problems of the outside view is to educate yourself.

Learn about motivation, memory and willpower. Read broadly and widely to understand the human condition.

Self-awareness comes from gaining richer and more accurate knowledge of yourself by combining theory and experience.

More self-knowledge leads to more success. If you understand how you function as an individual and as a person in general, you can gain a deeper purpose of your goals and know what will make you fulfilled.

Confidence and self-perception
Confidence is not necessarily linked to any external marker - our confidence is rooted in our perception of ourselves regardless of any tangible external reality. So improving the external, tangible aspects of our lives won't necessarily build confidence.  - Mark Manson

How to Be Confident (When You Don't Have Anything to Be Confident About)

markmanson.net

Confidence=becoming comfortable with what you are not

The solution to the confidence conundrum is not to feel as though you lack nothing and delude yourself into believing you already possess everything you could ever dream. The solution is to simply become comfortable with what you potentially lack. - Mark Manson

Confidence comes through failure

Those among us who are the most comfortable with negative experiences are those who reap the most benefits. Comfort in our failures allows us to act without fear, to engage without judgment, to love without conditions

We often know what we should be doing, but find there is a gap between knowing it and doing it.

What sets us in motion is usually external. We may suddenly have no choice, or someone may incentivize us. However, when it is internal, we often indefinitely postpone what we know we should be doing.

How positive psychology tools bridge the gap between thinking it, and being strong enough to do it!

draudreyt.com

A potential answer comes from Robert Dilt's logical levels of change, modelled in a hierarchy.

  1. Purpose (What else?)
  2. Identify (Who?)
  3. Values and beliefs (Why?)
  4. Capabilities (How?)
  5. Behaviours (What?)
  6. Environment (Where and when?)

Change that begins at the bottom does not affect the next step up unless you make an effort to climb. Change that starts at the top will filter down naturally.

  • A child learns about the world through reflex and conditioning. A baby cries, and someone comes to help. They do something and get rewarded.
  • Then behaviour becomes reasoned and chosen. As a person grows, so reflex and conditioning are replaced by desire, choice, reasoning and consequence. Physical development is also occurring. We may think and then do, but also do and then think.
  • Positive change needs to appeal to both as it needs to challenge ingrained habits.

As adults, when we want to change something we might seek help - join a gym, or take lessons, or see a coach. Regarding DILT, the teachers often teach from the bottom up. They give classes and tools and continue to encourage us.

But, people prefer efficiency instead of effectiveness. We will revert to behaviours that give us immediate pleasure, such as comfort eating or a spending spree while we find working harder less appealing. As our motivation decrease, we may drop out of coaching and fall back to where we started.

By using simple behavioural interventions, we can create helpful habits. Instead of only identifying a negative behaviour and then trying to avoid it, we can find a substitution which we love, and that will give us a sense of joy, such as eating a healthy snack or texting a friend.

Traditional tools such as journaling, reflection, and lessons or classes can be used in conjunction with behavioural interventions.

  • If you are putting off a difficult conversation, identify what makes you feel really good, and do that when you get a moment. Doing so will remind you that you worth caring about. When you feel good, you feel more capable of doing the hard thing.
  • Instead of "dump the toxic people," give the valued people in your life a call. Being energised by lovely people in your life, you might find the time around other people more bearable.
  • While you focus on your goals in life, you can also be reminded to look around daily and really see the value of everything you already have.
Seeking Happiness
  • The pursuit to happiness has always been a never ending journey. It started even before the French philosophers came into the picture.
  • From Aristotle to Bentham, they all argued that our subjective well-being is important. However, it has been proven that increasing societal happiness is not a walk in the park.
  • The main driver of happiness is how the reward matches with our expectations, not the reward itself.

Happiness: why learning, not rewards, may be the key – new research

theconversation.com

When we receive a reward for a job we've done, we always equate a certain amount of expectations and feelings of excitement towards the reward.

Reward prediction errors play a major role in learning because it helps us understand people's motivations behind certain behaviors and their perspectives or beliefs about the world.

The happiness of the subjects did not depend on how large the rewards were. Instead, the momentary happiness depended on the outcomes of their expectations.

The process of learning how the experimented game worked made people feel good rather than the reward they won.

  • Many people seek to learn as the opportunity arises even if the reward of the game isn't of any material value, that is why many people still enjoy playing sudoku amongst other things.
  • The motivation to join in an intrinsically rewarding activity - like solving problems - has been shown to decrease when a payment is introduced.
  • Rewards in the real world often come in uncertain amounts. However, the good news is that regardless of what may be, learning has the potential to boost happiness.
The impact of art on your health

After studying the impact of art on our health, researches concluded that:.

  • "Art filled occupational voids, distracted thoughts of illness."
  • "Reductions in stress and anxiety; increases in positive emotions."

The studies included everything from music and writing to dance and the visual arts. The benefits were seen in the physical body as well. The act of writing impacted the cells inside the patients body and improved their immune system.

Make More Art: The Health Benefits of Creativity

jamesclear.com

Art offers an outlet from the consumption of television and social media. And it's important to take some time to produce something. Express yourself by contributing rather than consuming.

Open a blank document and start typing. Sketch a drawing. Take a picture. Build something. Share something. Make more art. Your health and well-being will improve because of it.

A judgmental attitude

Being hypercritical and judgmental is often unconsciously learned. It seems to fill a need such as making one feel powerful or smart where one is feeling sad or bored.

You may feel that you are merely pointing out the truth, but the general attitude of being judgmental won't win you many friends.

Ever Wonder Why You're So Judgmental?

nickwignall.com

Positive and negative reinforcement is powerful to sustain many habits. For example, drugs alleviate negative feelings and add positive ones.

Similarly, a habit of judgmentalness can be positively reinforced, such as the thrill of being right or feeling intellectually superior. But the biggest positive emotion while being judgmental is self-righteous anger.

We often classify anger as negative because the outcomes are negative. But anger itself is positive when we separate it from its surrounding thoughts and behaviours.

When we assess an injustice, we often conclude that something is wrong, but that I am right! The feeling of anger is a sense of power, agency, control, pride, and righteousness. It leads to a pleasurable emotional experience.

Anger is an antidepressant. Awareness of this pattern of judgmentalness leading to anger serves to alleviate a painful emotion like sadness. We should take a closer look at our emotional lives.

Anger makes us passive. While you invest your time and energy arguing and being judgmental, that time and energy could be better spent finding a real solution to your problem.

Getting Through the Hard Stuff with Journaling
  • Journaling is the act of processing the past (and even the future) in the here and now.
  • Writing is and of itself **cathartic.
  • Feelings and experiences become **less overwhelming.
  • Reading back helps reveal patterns.
  • You can use creative journaling to change your story.

5 Ways Journaling Can Help You Get Through the Hard Stuff

tinybuddha.com

Museum

A museum is a place and an institution that collects, maintains and interprets valuable articles of human history and nature and makes them available for viewing to the general public.

History of Museums - From Oldest to Modern Museums

historyofmuseums.com

  • The word "museum" comes from Ancient Greek "mouseion" which meant "seat of Muses." It was used as a place for contemplation.
  • In Rome, "museum" was a place used for philosophical discussions.
  • In the 15th century, the word "museum" was used to describe the collection of Lorenzo de Medici in Florence.
  • Only in the 17th century was "museum" used to describe collections of curiosities.
  • In 1677, the collection of John Tradescant was moved to the University of Oxford and made available for public viewing. It marks the moment when “museum” starts being an institution and not just collection of items.

Over time, museums expanded to accommodate different types of artefacts.

There are now open-air museums that have preserved buildings as objects, ecomuseums, virtual museums, history museums, maritime, military and war museums, and many more.

  • The oldest known museum was Ennigaldi-Nanna's museum, a private collection that was collected by Princess Ennigaldi and dated from 530BC.
  • Museums started opening for the public in the Renaissance. The oldest public collection of art is the Capitoline Museum. It began in 1471 with a donation of sculptures by Pope Sixtus IV to people of Rome.
  • The oldest museum in the United Kingdom opened in 1660. It is the Royal Armories in the Tower of London.
  • The private collection of Sir Hans Sloane was a basis for the British Museum in London and founded in 1753.
The Concept of Graffiti

Graffiti, or the practice of writing, drawing, painting or doodling on walls and other surfaces is as old as man himself, with prehistoric and ancient cave paintings of hunting scenes being the first documented proof of the same. The word comes from the Greek term ‘graphein’ and means to ‘scratch, draw or write’.

Graffiti was employed during World War II to create brotherhood among soldiers, who felt a connection with the words and images on the walls left by other soldiers.

Street and Graffiti Art - Concepts & Styles

theartstory.org

  • Contemporary graffiti dates back to 1967, arising from the Black and Latino communities in New York City, with the aerosol spray paint acting as a catalyst.
  • The artists, known as taggers, used to ‘tag’ or paint in as many locations as possible, with the intention to ‘get up’, having maximum people see the art.
  • Subway cars and trains became the next big thing to ‘tag’ with graffiti, as their mobile nature ensured that more people would see it. The giant artwork had a unique energy and aura while it moved, creating an effect that is not possible on a static wall.

In about a decade, the ‘vandalism’ of infrastructure and public property became a big problem in NYC, as it had a negative psychological effect on every citizen. The authorities put in measures to make it harder for the writers to hit their targets, but it just made the game more challenging and interesting for the artists.

Extreme steps were taken in 1984 to clear NYC of Subway car/train graffiti, and commuters had to face hardships, but the practice of street graffiti flourished in the coming decades.

  • Apart from attention-seeking graffiti, street art had other traditional forms that put real art (in an image form) outside of the churches and galleries, something visually different than the text-based urban communication that graffiti that helped early writers develop a network.
  • Key artists that got into image-based art were Jean-Michel Basquiat (known by the tag SAMO) and Keith Haring.
  • This was also the time when there were major changes in drawing techniques and type of material used, shifting away from the aerosol paint cans.

Many artists made the concept of writing and drawing graffiti faster and more uniform by using stencils, which were made of cardboard and had the cut out of the intended art. Multiple stencils were used in creative ways to add depth and a striking visual element to the viewer.

Stencils became handy and popular as they could be used a number of times and the writer/artist only took a few seconds to complete the graffiti and flee the scene.

  • Wheat Paste Posters: The posters made of flour paste could be attached to walls in a matter of seconds, with all the work already done before.
  • Sculptural Street Art: 3D objects which are placed at strategic places to create a surprising visual effect to the passer-by.
  • Reverse Graffiti: Also called clean tagging, this kind of graffiti involves cleaning a surface in such a selective way that the intended image or text is visible as the cleaned area. This was an ingenious way to make a statement by simply removing dust from a wall.
  • Ceramic Tiles: Coloured tiles were a novel way to put street art to the public, and they were fairly permanent.

Many writers used stickers, speech bubbles, clay, chalk, charcoal, video projections, laser beams and even flowers to drive home the message they want to convey.

The creative minds needed space to foster, using any form of expression as a medium to make street art.

The act of writing or tagging in a public place, is a celebration of existence, but at the same time a declaration of resistance. The accessibility of street art makes it an alternate medium of information, something that is not controlled by the government, like it should be.

New tools such as computer graphic software and digital photography, along with the increased global reach due to the internet and social media have immortalized street art, unlike before.

Though street art is an accepted form of art, it is still considered as vandalism.

Many artists have the option to create artworks in galleries and museums, and get paid for it, but the adrenaline rush of doing something illegal, or going against the authorities is alluring to the artists basic instincts of adventure and thrill.

The junk drawer

The "junk drawer" has become a universally acknowledged space where you store all the things that doesn't seem to have a place. It is not always a drawer - it could be a room, box, or a corner in the attic.

In truth, most of us have one, and almost none of us know how to deal with it.

KonMari Method Organization Tips for Decluttering the Junk Drawer

domino.com

Don't think how you will organise items if you're still considering what to keep. You can only assess available storage space when you're done decluttering.

Sort and throw away first before you put back the stuff you've been collecting in your junk drawer.

Gather all the items of one category in one spot. You can only decide what to keep and what to discard if you know what you have and how much you have.

Categorization is important in the process of decluttering. The five main categories are clothes, books, paper, miscellaneous, mementos. Gather and assess all like items at the same time. If you have two junk drawers, tackle the objects in both spaces at the same time.

You can have as many subcategories as you need for your home. When it comes to organizing, is easier to start with larger items.

Approach the items according to categories. For example, get all your safety pins in one area and all your paper things in one spot. Then ask how many safety pins do you really need?

Everything in a junk drawer should be uniform and seen.

Ideally, put the items in small boxes and dividers. Then make them visible by storing things vertically. You want to see what you have.

Paper piles include mail, bills, receipts, and magazines. When you can't throw anything away, follow a three-folder filing system:

  • Pending papers: Anything that requires action, like a bill you have to pay.
  • Forever papers: Birth certificates and mortgage documents that you don't handle often.
  • Temporary papers: This folder is for papers you know you'll let go of in the future, like warranties, lease agreements, or study materials.

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