Transform Conflict Into A Growth Opportunity - Deepstash

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Authentic leaders have courageous conversations.

Transform Conflict Into A Growth Opportunity

Transform Conflict Into A Growth Opportunity

Constructive conflict can lead to positive growth and transformation, along with the capacity for understanding ourselves and the world around us. It is helpful to recognize the reasons why we wish to avoid conflict.

For example:

  • I want to be liked by everyone.
  • It's better not to rock the boat.
  • I might strain the relationship.
  • I don't know what to say or do.
  • I would feel too awkward.

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Stressful Conversations
Stressful Conversations

Human beings love to gossip, chatter and jest, but some conversations can be stressful, confusing, and even embarrassing. To avoid conflicts and the avoidable pain it can bring, we tend to dodge a ...

The Three Basic Stress-Inducing Conversations
  • While giving bad news to others, like giving feedback or firing someone, one can find it difficult to strike the right note.
  • When a small sentence or even a word can be taken as a negative provocation and trigger an adverse reaction. Suddenly the conversation becomes intensely charged emotionally.
  • A conversation where one resorts to profanity, manipulation, shouting to thwart the other person.
Preparing For A Stressful Conversation
  1. Be fully aware of one’s own vulnerabilities and shortcomings.
  2. Anticipate any specific problem that may occur, and try to rehearse it if possible.
  3. Understand that words are key that can make or break your conversation, and try to fine-tune and neutralize your phrasing.
Don't Avoid Conflict
  • We tend to avoid conflict because we believe that it is bad, yet we continue to create it despite the fact.
  • Conflict isn't essentially a bad thing. It gives us the information we need to know so that we could work with others more effectively to improve our relationships with them and to grow as individuals.
  • In every conflict resolution phase, we must aim for: a solution, a plan, or an understanding.
Gem Statement

A gem statement is a statement that allows the opportunity to open up a new conversation with the hopes of compromisation and a solution.

This usually involves expressing your emotions with the main issue beneath all the surface anger or any other emotion being experienced while having a positive impact on the other.

Ask questions

It helps you preserve your neutrality.
It is effective in getting others to pause, reflect, and get clear with themselves about what the problem actually is. 
You may get each ...

Be mindful during a conflict situation
  • All issues are best dealt with as soon as all involved are calm.
  • Start with one-on-one conversations to get the details of the issue from both perspectives.
  • Recognize that there is no objective reality of the situation.
Probing questions to ask

Once you have the basics of what happened and how long it has been going on, you can move on to asking more probing questions:

  • What is the other person saying?
  • How does what you've been hearing go against your values?
  • What is the difference between your two perspectives?
  • What aspects of this conflict do you believe you're responsible for?
  • Can you put yourself in your coworker's shoes? How does she feel?
  • If we were to think outside of the box, how could this issue be resolved?
  • What will happen to you if this issue isn't resolved through this discussion?
  • What would you offer to do or change to help resolve this issue? What would you like in return?