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Authentic leaders have courageous conversations.

https://www.boldermoves.com/courageous-conversations/

boldermoves.com

Authentic leaders have courageous conversations.
Transforming unproductive conflict into a courageous conversation produces powerful results in leadership and life. Here are some smart tips to guide you.

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Transform Conflict Into A Growth Opportunity

Transform Conflict Into A Growth Opportunity

Constructive conflict can lead to positive growth and transformation, along with the capacity for understanding ourselves and the world around us. It is helpful to recognize the reasons why we wish to avoid conflict.

For example:

  • I want to be liked by everyone.
  • It's better not to rock the boat.
  • I might strain the relationship.
  • I don't know what to say or do.
  • I would feel too awkward.

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Strategies For Successful Courageous Conversation

Conflict in leadership and life is unavoidable. Instead of seeing conflict as something to be avoided, see it as an opportunity to achieve greater levels of fulfilment.

  • Take the time to really listen before you jump into the conversation.
  • Pause before you speak. Instead of reacting instinctively, take a deep breath to realign yourself before responding.
  • Press your internal "reset" button. Pause, take stock, breathe deeply, then determine the "right" next move.
  • Change the way you view your world. Use your emotions as a gauge to help you understand when your needs are met, and when they are not.
  • Clearly define your intentions. Being able to articulate your intentions effectually increase your chances of achieving what you want.
  • Be mindful of body language. Over 90% of our communication with others is nonverbal.

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"Issues that aren’t talked out get acted out in snide remarks and innuendoes, higher absenteeism and turnover, and lower productivity and engagement. When you are discussing something sensitive, what is left unsaid is often what the conversation really needs to be about."

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Stressful Conversations

Stressful Conversations

Human beings love to gossip, chatter and jest, but some conversations can be stressful, confusing, and even embarrassing. To avoid conflicts and the avoidable pain it can bring, we tend to dodge a ...

The Three Basic Stress-Inducing Conversations

  • While giving bad news to others, like giving feedback or firing someone, one can find it difficult to strike the right note.
  • When a small sentence or even a word can be taken as a negative provocation and trigger an adverse reaction. Suddenly the conversation becomes intensely charged emotionally.
  • A conversation where one resorts to profanity, manipulation, shouting to thwart the other person.

Preparing For A Stressful Conversation

  1. Be fully aware of one’s own vulnerabilities and shortcomings.
  2. Anticipate any specific problem that may occur, and try to rehearse it if possible.
  3. Understand that words are key that can make or break your conversation, and try to fine-tune and neutralize your phrasing.

Let People Talk First

Let others to talk about themselves first. Then, you’ll be able to sell yourself more naturally.

If they are interested in what you have to offer, you can naturally transition into a p...

Ask Good Questions That Show You’re Engaged

Ask at least one question before changing topic to show you’re engaged. Gathering details makes it more likely that you’ll be able to establish a connection with the other person or find a way you can lend a hand.

Prepare For A Conversation Without Being Creepy

Take a look at the person’s LinkedIn or Twitter account to get an idea of his tone, interests, etc. You’re always at an advantage when you know more about a person. It will be easier to relate to him and you might avoid awkward conversations.

Distracted by Drama

Distracted by Drama

We can't deny that drama surrounds us everywhere we go. We can see it on social media or on television and despite of our best intentions to not get involved, we can't seem to avert our att...

The Karpman Drama Triangle

The Karpman Drama Triangle was developed in 1968 by psychologist Stephen Karpman in order to exhibit our dysfunctional behavior towards interpersonal drama.

He recognized the feelings of entertainment and addiction towards conflicts despite of its harmful effects to our mental health. There are three roles in a conflict:

  1. The victim
  2. The persecutor
  3. The rescuer.

Dysfunctional Roles In A Relationship

  • The Victim: While they are not the actual victims, they are the ones who often feel oppressed and victimized. They are self-pitying and act helpless most of the time.
  • The Persecutor: Is made out to be controlling and critical by the victims. However, when we do take up this role we are often angry, rigid, and have feelings of superiority.
  • The Rescuer: They are known as the enablers; they don't actually help the victims because they keep the victims stuck in their roles.