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How to ask open-ended questions
How to avoid awkward silences
How to show interest in others
The psychology of unattainable goals
Although setting goals is an important tool for self-motivation, but we tend to be overconfident beings, especially when a goal is linked to our self-esteem (we want to feel good about ourselves when it comes to achievements and aspirations).
So when we assess our own capabilities at taking on goals, we tend to be excessively optimistic.
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The persistent pursuit of unattainable goals
- The persistent pursuit of unattainable goals can lead to higher achievements: focusing on smaller accomplishments can bolster positive feelings, motivating us to take on more goals in the same category. As long as we know that unattainable goals are not really about the destination, but the...
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Stop letting failed goals pull you down
- Don’t negate your progress as there is power in small wins.
- Don’t dwell on the failure: Reflect on your journey to achieving your goal.
- Think about related benefits: While you may not have achieved your goal fully, not all is lost.
- Ask for an objective analysis: W...
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Believing that long shots are feasible
When we set goals, we are not that great at assessing our own ability to achieve them.
Because whether or not a goal is truly attainable can only be known when we start working on it.
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- Self-esteem boost: displaying our relationships status makes us feel good about ourselves.
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The William James Formula For Self-Esteem
According to ‘The Principles Of Psychology’, an 1890 book by William James, known as the father of American psychology, self-worth is based on our actual achievements and our aspirations, as in the equation below:
Self-Esteem = Success/Pretensions.
The ...
The Traditional Approach: Outcome-Based Goals
The traditional approach to goal-setting is measured by one thing: the outcome.
This goal-setting approach is problematic for three reasons:
- It attaches our self-worth to the outcome of our goal: If we accomplish our goal, we see ourselves as successful; if we d...
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