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How To Work With Someone You Don't Like
You can only change yourself
You can't change other people, but you can control your response to them.
Every situation mirrors your emotional state. If you are intolerant by someone's behaviour, then their behaviour shows you that you have anger and intolerance inside. Instead of thinking "You're doing this to me!", think, "Why am I reacting this way?"
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Key Ideas
“The hard choices—what we most fear doing, asking, saying—these are very often exactly what we most need to do.”
Tim Ferriss
What's Holding You Down
Some people allow fears to keep them stuck in their situations. Fear has the ability to keep you stuck and control your mindset.
You can silence it by stating this fear out loud and becoming familiar with the worst-case scenario.
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Key Ideas
Suffering from the fear of heights
People that have acrophobia have an irrational fear of heights. Many symptoms of acrophobia are shared with other anxiety disorders, such as shaking, sweating, a racing heart, diff...
Challenge your beliefs about heights
People with height phobias think something bad will happen when they are up high. But you are safer than you think and your feared outcome about heights won't really happen.
Ask yourself:
- What do you believe will happen when you expose yourself to your fear?
- How likely do you think it is that this would happen?
- What would be the outcome of it happening? (you might believe a tall building will collapse.)
Once you've answered the questions, start small with the thing you fear and see that the worst doesn't actually happen, or that it is not as bad as you feared.
The cause of acrophobia
- A traumatic or frightening event, such as falling off a ladder could cause a fear of heights because the distressing experience gets paired with heights in the person's memories.
- However, many people can't link their fear to a particular experience.
- Some people that fear heights did not have repeated safe exposure to heights.
- Finally, people with height phobia show subtle differences in their ability to maintain their balance, partly because they have more difficulty integrating perceptual information from their visual system.
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Key Ideas
Begin from a place of curiosity
Lean into the conversation from a place of curiosity and respect (for yourself and the other person).
Even when the subject of the conversation is difficult, the interaction can ...
Listen and observe
You don’t actually need to talk that much during a difficult conversation. Instead, learn to listen, reflect and observe.
Be direct
Address uncomfortable situations head-on by getting right to the point.
Foster an honest and respectful discussion and make sure both parties speak about the details of an issue.