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How To Work With Someone You Don't Like

https://www.forbes.com/sites/nicolelipkin/2019/01/30/how-to-work-with-someone-you-dont-like/?sh=1201f0dc5fe4

forbes.com

How To Work With Someone You Don't Like
You can find a million ways to avoid someone, but this doesn’t solve your problem. If you want to evolve and move forward you have to find a way to work with them.

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Working with a co-worker you don't like

Working with a co-worker you don't like

We don't get to pick our coworkers. Sometimes we end up with a coworker we don't like.

While you can find ways to avoid them, it doesn't solve your problem. If you want to grow and move forward, you have to find a way to work with them.

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An empathy opportunity

There is potential value in considering another's point of view. It is an opportunity to practice empathy.

Every relationship takes work. Spouses get on each other's nerves, and friends annoy each other. But with these relationships, you mostly give the other person the benefit of the doubt. Next time, ask yourself what about this experience can help you grow. It forces you to look for the positive in a negative situation.

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Growth moments: What you gain by not avoiding problems

There are moments you want to run away, but they are often the moments when you should stay and work through the situation. They are your growth moments.

Those who can figure out how to work with difficult people are the ones people want to be around. When you are liked, you gain influence.

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Just because you don't like a person doesn't mean nobody does

Is it them, or is it me? The hardest part to accept is that it is both of you.

We tend to blame out flaws on external factors, yet we blame other people's flaws on their character. If you're late for work, you can claim heavy traffic. If they're late, you think they're lazy. This is the time to remember that it's not necessarily their character; it might be something about the environment.

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You can only change yourself

You can't change other people, but you can control your response to them.

Every situation mirrors your emotional state. If you are intolerant by someone's behaviour, then their behaviour shows you that you have anger and intolerance inside. Instead of thinking "You're doing this to me!", think, "Why am I reacting this way?"

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We judge others how we judge ourselves

We tend to judge ourselves first, then base our judgments of others on our own self-judgments. That makes it highly likely that whatever bothers you about your coworker you will find in yourself.

If you find someone intolerable, pinpoint the specific traits that bother you. See if there's a speck of those traits in yourself.

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If you both don't like each other...

Be upfront about it. You might want to try saying, "We're not getting along that great, what can we do? Let's try to figure out what's getting in our way." See if you can find a pattern. Are there topics or problems that trigger you both?

See if they'll meet you halfway. In the end, it's about how you can fix this together. If the other person is not willing, let it be. You know that you made an effort.

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Suffering from the fear of heights

Suffering from the fear of heights

People that have acrophobia have an irrational fear of heights. Many symptoms of acrophobia are shared with other anxiety disorders, such as shaking, sweating, a racing heart, diff...

Challenge your beliefs about heights

People with height phobias think something bad will happen when they are up high. But you are safer than you think and your feared outcome about heights won't really happen.
Ask yourself:

  • What do you believe will happen when you expose yourself to your fear?
  • How likely do you think it is that this would happen?
  • What would be the outcome of it happening? (you might believe a tall building will collapse.)

Once you've answered the questions, start small with the thing you fear and see that the worst doesn't actually happen, or that it is not as bad as you feared.

The cause of acrophobia

  • A traumatic or frightening event, such as falling off a ladder could cause a fear of heights because the distressing experience gets paired with heights in the person's memories.
  • However, many people can't link their fear to a particular experience.
  • Some people that fear heights did not have repeated safe exposure to heights.
  • Finally, people with height phobia show subtle differences in their ability to maintain their balance, partly because they have more difficulty integrating perceptual information from their visual system.

The psychology behind money

The psychology behind money

Money is not a fixed entity. It is a complex of data points, challenges, and opportunities you encounter and have feelings about. Your decisions about money affect your emotions and behavio...

Emotion and money

The most important emotions about money to become aware of are fear, guilt, and shame. Without awareness, these emotions will interfere with your rational thinking.

  • Common fears include fear of having too little money, fear of looking foolish, fear of causing envy.
  • Guilt is about feeling bad about a negative impact you've had on others. You may feel guilty because you have more than your friends, or are not charitable.
  • Shame is feeling troubled when you don't live up to your own values. Shame related to money involves feelings of not having enough money, avoiding thinking about finances, avoiding doing what you're supposed to do with your finances, feeling ignorant, and overspending.

Other emotions that influence your handling of money include envy, greed, and over-excitement.

How mental health influences your finances

Mental health problems can have a significant effect on your finances.

  • Excessive use of alcohol leads to poor judgment and inattentiveness to finances.
  • Depression can cause a loss of employment. People with depression also lack energy and a sense of purpose.
  • People with a mild expression of bipolar disorder can experience states with increased energy, decreased inhibitions, exciting plans, and are overstimulated to spend.
  • Adults with ADHD/ADD have the ability to pay intense attention to tasks that really interest them while screening out the tedious or mundane.