How To Work With Someone You Don't Like

Is it them, or is it me? The hardest part to accept is that it is both of you.

We tend to blame out flaws on external factors, yet we blame other people's flaws on their character. If you're late for work, you can claim heavy traffic. If they're late, you think they're lazy. This is the time to remember that it's not necessarily their character; it might be something about the environment.

You can't change other people, but you can control your response to them.

Every situation mirrors your emotional state. If you are intolerant by someone's behaviour, then their behaviour shows you that you have anger and intolerance inside. Instead of thinking "You're doing this to me!", think, "Why am I reacting this way?"

We tend to judge ourselves first, then base our judgments of others on our own self-judgments. That makes it highly likely that whatever bothers you about your coworker you will find in yourself.

If you find someone intolerable, pinpoint the specific traits that bother you. See if there's a speck of those traits in yourself.

Be upfront about it. You might want to try saying, "We're not getting along that great, what can we do? Let's try to figure out what's getting in our way." See if you can find a pattern. Are there topics or problems that trigger you both?

See if they'll meet you halfway. In the end, it's about how you can fix this together. If the other person is not willing, let it be. You know that you made an effort.

There is potential value in considering another's point of view. It is an opportunity to practice empathy.

Every relationship takes work. Spouses get on each other's nerves, and friends annoy each other. But with these relationships, you mostly give the other person the benefit of the doubt. Next time, ask yourself what about this experience can help you grow. It forces you to look for the positive in a negative situation.