The most valuable way to understand, manage and use your anger is to keep a mood log.
Using a mood log for a week or two will help you identify the relationship between your feelings, thoughts, and situations. It will give insight into how you tend to think and behave when you're angry. You might notice that you get angry when your goals are blocked, or you are more prone to thoughts such as blaming. With this knowledge, you can consider whether your anger is productive.
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Anger is characterised by an intense feeling of displeasure, ranging from frustration to rage. It includes a physiological response like increased heart rate and muscle tension, thoughts such as blame or revenge, and predictable behaviour, such as the desire to lash out.
Many people don't act out how they feel. They might want to yell or scream, but instead, they might pout, cry, or breathe deeply.
Anger management strategies include relaxation, such as deep breathing, muscle relaxation, or meditation.
When you're angry, relaxation approaches work to decrease unwanted emotional and physiological arousal. Suggestions such as punching a pillow is a bad idea since it doesn't reduce anger but increase the likelihood of later aggression.
When you understand your anger, you can intervene in any of the three stages (provocation, interpretation, mood).
Anger comes from three interacting factors:
Anger is a fuel that can energise you to solve problems. But if it gets out of control, you can blow up and be a danger to yourself or those around you.
One way to productively use your anger might include addressing the small issues in your life that lead to frequent frustrations, such as a leaky tap. You can also use your anger to assert yourself by having a meaningful but difficult conversation.
We all have experienced strong emotional reactions in our lives when our mind is overwhelmed and in turmoil. We struggle to manage our feelings and usually don’t know what to do with them.
This results in the emotions getting stuck inside us, manifesting in mental or physical problems.
When you are angry at something, you tend to only focus on the thing that has angered you.
With so many distractions in our present day, it is so easy to not remain focused on tasks. However, this is where being angry could benefit you.
Take time out to acknowledge you are angry and then get to working on a solution. You will be way more productive, and you will remain focused on the task at hand.
Anger and the accompanying feelings of revenge are associated with dopamine and norepinephrine secretion in the brain, which feel exhilarating to us.
The neurological chemical systems in the brain reward our anger and make it feel good, which is not the case with the other emotions like shame and sadness.