What It Means To Be Parentified - Deepstash
What It Means To Be Parentified

What It Means To Be Parentified

Parentification is when a child is forced to take on the role of an adult. Many children get pushed into the role of caretake for their younger siblings or become the referee in their parent’s arguments.

When caregivers aren’t able to fully show up for themselves, children get put into developmentally inappropriate situations.

6

STASHED IN:

40

MORE IDEAS FROM Signs You Were Parentified as a Child

Signs That You Were Parentified as a Child

If you relate to any of the signs on this list, it might be helpful to get in touch with your inner child and allow yourself to experience that part of you.:

  1. Don’t really remember "being a kid”
  2. Trouble with play or “letting loose”
  3. Like to feel in control
  4. Pulled into arguments or issues between caregivers
  5. Felt like you were given responsibilities that were not appropriate for someone your age
  6. Often compliments for being “so good” and “so responsible”
  7. May feel that being self-reliant is better than trying to trust others

7

STASHED IN:

48

  • Become aware. Accept that you have an inner child and get to know it.
  • Get to know what your inner child needs. What we did not receive from our caregivers as children is often exactly what we need.
  • Take responsibility. You have to recognize that it wasn’t fair and it hurt. Now you are the adult saddled with the responsibility of re-parenting yourself.
  • Become a parent and friend to your inner child. Take inventory of what you did not receive as a child and what needs still need to be met.

6

STASHED IN:

51

Things Your Inner Child Might Need

Find a way to honor your inner child consistently by offering what it might need.

  • Structure: Create structure in your day through routine, scheduling, or having a set bedtime or wake up time.
  • Play and Freedom: Add moments of safe play in your life.
  • Community: Look for people that share the same values and allow you to be yourself.
  • Love and Positive Reinforcement: Speak kindly to yourself and spend time with people that do the same.
  • Safety and Security: Create a space that you can go to and feel safe and secure.
  • Emotional Health: Allow yourself to feel and experience emotions.

6

STASHED IN:

56

Deepstash helps you become inspired, wiser and productive, through bite-sized ideas from the best articles, books and videos out there.

GET THE APP:

RELATED IDEA

Codependency

The traditional definition of codependency focuses on control, nurturing, and maintenance of relationships with individuals who are chemically dependent or engaging in undesirable behaviors, such as narcissism.

A classic codependency model is an alcoholic husband and his enabling wife.

1

STASHED IN:

473

Becoming Young

Being young is being curious. And most people become cynical and overly critical towards life as they grow older, and only a select few retain the wonder, innocence and joy of a child.

An adult's life consists of optimizing life using knowledge, mental models and practical shortcuts, a race towards better efficiency in everything. We stop asking the right questions, like the most common question a child asks: Why?

7

STASHED IN:

214

How Attachment Styles Affect Adult Relationships

Whatever your specific relationship problems, it’s important to know that your brain remains capable of change throughout life.

By identifying your attachment style, you can learn to challenge your insecurities, develop a more securely attached way of relating to others, and build stronger, healthier, and more fulfilling relationships.

12

STASHED IN:

246