Be intentional about your breakups - Deepstash

Be intentional about your breakups

You will go through a lot of different versions of yourself. It can mean that a friend is only there for a certain chapter, and that's OK.

When a friendship ends, it's good to be intentional. State that you want to end the friendship and talk about what that means in practical terms.

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Friendships change

If our friendships are going to last a long time, we will have to accept that change will happen, and it won't always be comfortable.

If a friendship is feeling weird, use the concept called the "friendship triangle." The triangle base is positivity, and the two sides are consistency and vulnerability. Look at your friendship through this triangle to see what's off-balance.

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If you want a long-lasting friendship, you should not be afraid to ask for what you need.

If you can get in the habit of saying what you need, you can avoid resentment later on.

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Look at your friendships through the lens of TME -Time, Money, and Energy.

These are your most valuable resources. Consider how you're spending your TME and who you're giving it to. If you feel drained of these resources, you may have to change the relationship.

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Good apology or No apology
  • Most of us haven't been taught how to apologise
  • Our efforts tend to be harmful: vague, intrusive, demanding, or full of warnings that can leave the recipient of an apology feeling even worse.
  • When the apology is absent or it's a bad apology, it puts a crack in the very foundation of a relationship and can even end it.
  • That's why it is critical to get an apology right.

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Support, trust, and honesty

Friendships are built on mutuality and reciprocity — be there for her, so that she will be there for you.

If you can’t be straight with her or feel the need to hide your actions or tell untruths, the relationship is being built on shifting sand and won’t be able to withstand any real challenges.

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 Shanita Williams

"I think that's where we get it wrong, is that we think any bit of information is meaning that we are less than as a person or that we are unworthy or unfit or incapable. When really, feedback is just information, and you have the power to decide what you do with it."

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