The relationship devolves into a battle to see who has screwed up the most over the months or years, and therefore who is most indebted to the other.
Not only are you deflecting the current issue by focusing on previous wrongs, but you’re ginning up guilt and bitterness from the past to manipulate your partner into feeling bad in the present.
Accept yout partner for who he is! By choosing to be with your partner, you are choosing to be with all of their prior actions and behaviors.
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