The emotionally unavailable person - Deepstash
The emotionally unavailable person

The emotionally unavailable person

People often find themselves involved with an emotionally unavailable person at some point. The person with deficits in emotional intelligence turn things around on others, avoid taking personal responsibility, and defends their position at all cost.

A person who cannot sustain closeness in a relationship often mistake control for closeness, inflicts guilt and makes unfair accusations to manage the other person.

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MORE IDEAS FROM THEARTICLE

Assist a partner in recognising when to offer cognitive empathy and sympathy. Remind them that when a person shows they are upset, the focus needs to remain on that person until they feel understood.

That means fully listening to the person and only providing an opinion or advice when they ask for it.

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Feeling pity for someone is doable for an emotionally shortsighted partner. However, the partner needs to avoid the temptation to save and rescue. For example, "I'm sorry your dog died. I bought you a puppy so that you can feel better. You'll thank me later."

It is better to sympathise and encourage instead. "I am sorry your dog died. I feel bad for you. I hope you feel better tomorrow." It may sound hollows, but it provides support.

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Due to the partner's hardships accessing empathy, he or she could consider incorporating cognitive empathy.

Intellectualisation, a defence mechanism, may allow the person to think logically about another person's experience and analytically show this understanding. Although not ideal, it can communicate a basic understanding of someone's experience.

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A person who possesses emotional intelligence regularly shows empathy, self-awareness and social awareness.

  • Empathy - the ability to understand another person's experience from their perspective.
  • Self-awareness requires a person to self-reflect, gain insight, and own up to selfish moments.
  • Social awareness is the ability to be emotionally attuned to others and really understanding a person.

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RELATED IDEAS

What Is Emotional intelligence?

This is also known as EQ. It is less popular than “fluid or crystallized” intelligence or IQ, which is estimated to determine roughly 20 percent of a person’s success in life.

However, this doesn’t make EQ less important.

A person who has a substantial EQ is very much relevant in today’s world, maybe even over one with a higher IQ.

Whoever made us structured the human brain to function in a way that makes us make impressively stupid decisions. That you are an emotional wreck is normal. You don’t need to freak out.

Here are ten ways to know if you are emotionally intelligent:

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Use assertive communication

Assertive communication allows us to take responsibility for ourselves and our actions without judging or blaming other people.

Emotionally intelligent people know how to communicate their opinions and needs in a direct way while still respecting others.

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Emotional Intelligence (EI)

EI means the mastery of emotional competencies. 

That includes self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and relationship management.

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