Creating Meaning

Three key conditions differentiate days when you have a full charge from typical days:

•  Meaning: doing something that benefits another person.
• Interactions: creating far more positive than negative moments. 
• Energy: making choices that improve your mental and physical health.

Pursuing happiness for loved ones or for your community is a worthwhile goal. But trying to create happiness for yourself can have the opposite effect.

The more value you place on your own happiness, the more likely you are to feel lonely on a daily basis. Seeking your own happiness and nothing else results in feelings of futility. But if you spend as much time creating meaningful interactions as you do pursuing happiness, you will be better off in both areas.

While there is some overlap, the differences have clear implications for how people spend their time. 

• Those who pursue happiness are what psychologists call “takers.” 
• In contrast, people leading meaningful lives get a lot of joy from giving to others.

• Extrinsic motivation is when you do things primarily to receive a reward. You might take a new job because of the higher pay and better benefits package.
• Intrinsic motivation — or deep internal motivation — is much richer. You are driven by what you yearn to do even if there is no reward or compensation. 

Meaningful work is driven by intrinsic, rather than extrinsic, motivation.

The future of work lies in redefining it as doing something that makes a difference each day. Work is about productively applying your talent.

A healthy relationship between an employee and an organization starts with a shared mission, meaning, or purpose. A 2013 study of more than 12,000 workers worldwide found that employees who derive meaning and understand the importance of their work are more than three times as likely to stay with an organization.

One of the downfalls of the “follow your passion” advice is that it assumes that putting your own passion and happiness at the center of your world is what leads to meaning, fulfillment and joy. That is often not the case.

Those who make a profound difference, in contrast, begin by asking what they can give. Starting with this question allows you to direct your talents toward what matters most for others.

• You should be able to spend some time every day engaging in activities that energize and recharge you; it takes only a few moments to make a day more productive and fulfilling.
• Even in the worst situations, you can find opportunities for growth. The key is to shift your focus away from what others do that hinders you and instead seek out small things that enable you to make daily forward progress. 
•  Even if you are stuck in a job that is far from ideal, you have the ability to create a little meaning on the side (for example, volunteering in your free time).

The result of trying to be busy is a poorly managed life. If you are busy throughout the day and bouncing from one thing to the next, you’re probably not focusing on constructive activity.

You are also probably not giving your full attention to the things that matter most, from working to spending time with your family.

• The average worker loses 28 percent of each day to distraction.
• Only one in five workers report having the ability to focus on one thing at a time during a workday. 
• On average, people spend about half of their time thinking about something other than what they are doing at any given moment.

What’s even more disturbing is that this is not pleasant mind wandering; instead, the distractedness tends to make them less happy.

• These moments — which usually involve an exchange with another person — give your days a positive or negative charge. 
• Even brief interactions count, such as exchanging a smile or greeting while passing someone on the street.
• You absolutely can control your next interaction with another person. No matter how bad of a mood you are in, you can make a conscious choice to add a positive spin to your next conversation.

We need at least three to five positive interactions to outweigh every one negative exchange. Bad moments simply outweigh good ones.

Whether you’re having a one-on-one conversation with a colleague or a group discussion, keep this simple shortcut in mind: At least 80 percent of your conversations should be focused on what’s going right.

The best way to produce sustainable increases in well-being is to appreciate what you already have and to continue creating new positive experiences with the people who matter most. 

When you value what you already have, not only will you grow, you won’t feel the angst of wanting more. Any time you create experiences in the context of your existing resources and relationships, it has a compounding effect on your well-being.

• People who spend money on experiences are happier than those who spend on material things.
• People who spend on other people end up happier AND it makes someone else happy too.
• Share the things you are planning with other people because anticipation increases well being. Give people the chance to anticipate great experiences. (Planning a vacation can often lead to more happiness than the vacation itself.)

Doing things for others and living a life of meaning is important. But without energy, you can’t do your best work. 

If you want to make a difference for years to come, you have to put your health and energy first.