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Having a good-enough partner implies making some compromises that are contrary to the portayal of romance.
Good relationship compromises include settling for a good-enough relationship, while continuing to improve it. When we think of our partner as good enough, we realize what is most valuable for us. This does not mean that people should not aim to increase the depth of their relationship, but that such improvement will mainly relate to developing the connection with our current, good-enough partner.
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Perhaps you were not at the top of the class, not the employee of the month, nor are you the "10" you think your partner wants. But you're probably pretty spectacular in some way, and definitely good enough in most areas of life. If ever there were a time to stop beating yourself up for being hum...
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332 reads
A widely circulated “motivational” message, for example, proclaimed: If you didn’t come out of this quarantine with either a new skill or a new business, you never lacked the time, you just lacked the discipline.
It’s a message that’s counterproductive. It denies the kind of dramatic learni...
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119 reads
Mom guilt is something that almost all mothers are very familiar with.
Research suggests that five basic situations tend to induce guilt in mothers: actual or imagined aggression, wanting to leave in some way, being gone in so...
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126 reads
It seems we have created a distorted view of being average, and consequently, we try to avoid it at all costs.
A study on averageness shows just how skewed our perspective is. Participants overall tended to label their own abilities as above average, but the study also found evidence that ...
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164 reads
The pursuit of success is a religion because, like other religions, it is a robust system of meaning-making that operates at emotional and cognitive levels, guides our decisions, contains its own morality, and is practi...
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165 reads
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We expect our partner to be perfect in every way. As we spend our life with our partner, we seem to mistakenly believe that the other person will have everything in common with us and will think the same thought that is occurring in our head, at the same time.
As romance and idealization fade, we enter the ordeal stage. We learn more things about our partner that displease us and discover habits and flaws we dislike and attitudes we believe to be ignorant or distasteful.
Two things can damage a relationship during this period.
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