Learn more about personaldevelopment with this collection
How to practice effectively
The importance of consistency
How to immerse yourself in the language
The difference between negative and neutral
When someone comes across as neither obviously friendly nor overly hostile, most people will find it difficult to read them accurately.
That means many neutral encounters end up being perceived as negative ones. People who are sensitive to rejection may assume other people will shut them out. Recognizing our own skewed perception of the world is a first step toward solving it. With classic cognitive behavioural therapy techniques, we can learn to reinterpret other people's behaviour.
129
553 reads
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Wanting to be liked by everyone
Many people go through life desiring everyone to like them - not just a boss or a co-worker but strangers - the customer-service reps, cab drivers, or people in the grocery store.
Just telling yourself, it doesn't matter if the others like you is bad advice. You know it doesn't affect your...
200
3.39K reads
Think of yourself as an inkblot
The inkblot consists of patterns where you have to explain what you see. What a person sees says more about them than it does about the inkblot.
The same thing is true interpersonally. The qualities that make you likeable to one person will make you unlikable to another person. Research sh...
148
807 reads
Tell yourself the odds are against you
Put yourself in the context of the whole world. Imagine spending a week interacting with all 7 billion people on the planet. Then consider what percentage of those people would say that you're generally a likeable person.
For example, thinking that around 70 percent of people would lik...
131
586 reads
Consider all the things you don't know
Many factors influence how someone might feel about you.
Someone might be having a bad day, or they may be distracted by their workload. All are aspects beyond your control. The factors may influence how people respond to you, but they're not about you.
128
667 reads
Pinpoint your biases
We all have some problematic thought patterns that we are unaware of.
- One is mind-reading, where you wrongly assume that whoever you're with is thinking negative thoughts about you.
- Another is personalising, making something about you when...
151
554 reads
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