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Self Improvement

107 SAVED IDEAS

Memories are often unreliable

Our memory is part of what makes us human. But it's far from perfect.

Psychologists are investigating the seven categories of memory. Three involve forgetting, and four involve a faulty memory. As with many cognitive biases, the first step is awareness.

@danielm33

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Self Improvement

  • Transience. This sin involves forgetting over time. Studies found that nearly 50% of participants had significant errors in their memory of the O.J. Simpson trial verdict after three years.
  • Absent-mindedness. We have lapses of attention. We forget where we left an object or what we were planning to do.
  • Blocking. We experience the tip-of-the-tongue syndrome. This happens when the brain tries to retrieve information, but another memory interferes.
  • Misattribution. This sin is the correct recollection of information but connected to the wrong source. We may even think we are the source or may recall events that never happened.
  • Suggestibility. Our memory is vulnerable to misinformation caused by leading questions or deception from other people. This can lead to false memories.
  • Bias. Our current beliefs or feelings can retrospectively distort our memory.
  • Persistence. We want to forget, but our brain wants to hold on to the memory—for example, trauma, a mistake or an embarrassing moment.

Strategies to mitigate some of the most harmful effects of memory biases:

  • Get information soon after an event, when everyone still remembers it.
  • Use a prioritised task list.
  • Take notes from important events, such as meetings.
  • Record important events and milestones daily.
  • Use neutral questions when requesting information.
  • Pay attention to the perspective of the person providing the information.
  • Notice the symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder.
Guilt Gone Wrong

Guilt is a normal emotion and at the right levels can be useful in our relationships, but unhealthy guilt has high levels of anxiety, pressure and shame associated with it, which can be toxic to our lives.

Guilt occurs when certain rules are broken. While some rules are universal and need to be upheld, there are certain rules which are self-made or imposed by society:

  1. Don’t disappoint others.
  2. Never get angry.
  3. Always say Yes.
  1. Healthy guilt occurs when you break a reasonable rule, but if you break an unrealistic or unreasonable rule, you experience unhealthy guilt.
  2. If someone is upset, it does not necessarily mean they are really hurt by your behaviour.
  3. Unhealthy guilt often comes with a lingering shame.
  4. The purpose of healthy guilt is to guide you, but unhealthy guilt is there to punish and mentally abuse you.

A natural reaction to guilt can be to compulsively apologize or to distract oneself. Our voice of guilt or conscience can be helpful if we slow down and listen to it. Identify, acknowledge, accept and allow the feeling of guilt. Check what rules were broken, including all the should’s and shouldn’ts that arose out of the consequences of our action.

If we break a realistic rule, we can understand that the guilt is healthy, but if the rule that is broken is rigid, unrealistic, extreme or misaligned with our values, we may have excessive and toxic guilt.

We can turn the unpleasant feelings of guilt into a positive, constructive experience that is beneficial for us and others.

Seeing that we have done something that is totally unacceptable can be taken in both negative and positive terms. We cannot become a better person by attacking, punishing or criticising ourselves. Our improvement depends on our not being harsh on ourselves, bringing in compassion and taking swift action to repair the unpleasant situation.

An inspiring workspace: clarify your needs

Instead of scrolling through listings to find a home or workspace that will inspire your life, try creating your own. The act of thinking through what you want is very clarifying.

Things to consider:

  • How far away from work do you want to be, and how would you get there (bike, subway, car)?
  • How far from your friends and/or family do you want to be?
  • What size space would you like and what do you really need?
  • How important is natural light for you?
  • What room in your home do you tend to spend the most time in?
  • Do you tend to spend most of your waking hours outside of the home, and how would that affect your priorities?
  • How much can you afford to spend each month on your space?
  • Do you prefer to live alone or with roommates?

Budget is usually an issue for people working in creative fields, making it difficult to get everything they want from real estate or a roommate.

Consider which requirements you cannot live without in your new space. Also, keep in mind that stepping out of your comfort zone can inspire new ideas and personal breakthroughs.

Finding a great roommate is about finding the right fit. Be very specific about what you're looking for in a roommate, who you are, and how you live, and what you value in your home.

To thrive in a roommate situation, remember that you're in a relationship with these people, not merely cohabiting. You'll need to invest time and energy into the situation.

It is helpful to keep a journal of when inspiration strikes or when you do your best work. You can then adjust your home or your listing accordingly.

If you have your most creative moments in the shower, consider fixing the leaky sink or add a whiteboard to the wall so you can jot down ideas.

It is important to create a particular spot in your home that you can associate with clearing your mind and spacing out.

It can be as simple as a chair near a window or gathering your favourite objects onto a single table or shelve.

The Science Of Cute

Traits such as big eyes, fuzziness, and having pudgy bodies, we tend to often find them cute and adorable. From babies to baby animals, it's hard not to be excited when we see them; this is only natural due to how our bodies are programmed.

Our brains are filled with "feel-good chemicals" whenever we see something cute. We often find ourselves in gigil. This is also known as cuteness aggression.

The Puppy Dog Eyes

Most of us are aware of this cute tactic pulled by certain animals but more likely with dogs. As wolves evolved to become domesticated to they developed an irresistible look pulled with their sweet beady little eyes.

Scientists that studied the behavior of dogs in shelters believe that dogs have developed this to exploit human preferences in order for them to find a new home.

Benefiting of scaling down your goals

Research suggests that fewer goals are better. When we start a goal, feeling that it's doable is important. The compound effect of fewer goals is more powerful because it leads to outsized achievements.

When we read inspirational posts, we may feel inspired to expand our goals and achieve more - learning to speak Mandarin, playing the guitar, or starting a blog. It can result in an overwhelming list of unattainable goals.

Many areas in our lives could benefit from scaling down.

  • Meaningful relationships. Research suggests that satisfying friendships that are reciprocal have a positive impact on our well-being.
  • Meaningful experiences. We spend too much time doing, and don't leave space of being. Instead of attending every event, plan a big adventure for yourself. Instead of eating out every evening, save up for the best restaurant.
  • Other areas. Scale down your consumption by buying less. Scale down your time spent at work so you can see your children grow up.

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