Love & Family

58 SAVED IDEAS

Decluttering Your Friends

Some friendships are past their time, and the red flag to note is when a person isn’t replenished or energized in any way after spending time with a friend.

Another sign is when a life event or milestone (like a change in job location or marriage) drifts apart an old friendship. If you lose a favourite person, an alternative is to become your own favourite person.

@emil32

Love & Family

As time passes by, walls get built up in friendships, and one does not know where one stands with a friend anymore. When friendships start to become transactional, conditional, just for convenience, or hollow, it is time to say goodbye.

Decluttering your friends is a way to pay gratitude to yourself and start to live authentically, without obligations. Life is not static for anyone, and it is always good to move on.

Familial Disconnection

Parents and their children aren't 100% attuned towards each other and that is a normal phenomenon. A study showed that even a healthy and securely attached family, the parents and their children, were only in sync 30% of the time. The remaining 70% shows that there were miscommunications and mismatches.

In addition to this, caregivers who meet all of their child's needs perfectly could impede the child's development.

Importance of Repair and Ruptures

It is only natural for us to have disagreements without family members, however, being able to repair the rupture done is one of the most essential things in parenting.

A bid for repair is an important part of communication because you're exhibiting the value of not only the person but also of your relationship with them.

Four Steps To An Authentic Repair
  1. Acknowledge the offense. Let the person affected know that you are taking accountability for your words and your actions.
  2. Express remorse. A sincere "I'm sorry" is sufficient. Let go of the fear that you might be letting go of your power.
  3. Consider offering a brief explanation, only if the person is willing to listen to your side of the story but focus on apologizing.
  4. Express your sincere intention to fix the situation and prevent it from happening again
Strengthening The Family Fabric
  • Spend "special time" with each child individually in order to create more space to deepen your relationship with them on a one-on-one basis. Let them choose the activities you'll be doing at your special time.
  • Appreciate your child out loud, practice gratitude, and notice the good that your children have done throughout the day or the week.
  • Learn to respect and enjoy one another's presence without the over-reliance on power and authority that might lead to an issue.
Commitment, Love, and Romance

Good relationships take commitment and effort.

The challenge for couples is cultivating a mature and trusting love that is the key to a lasting relationship.

  • Romantic love: Based on passion and sexual attraction
  • Best friends: Fondness and deep affection
  • Logical: Practical feelings based on shared values, financial goals, religion etc.
  • Playful: Elicit feelings by flirtation or feeling challenged
  • Possessive: Jealousy and obsession
  • Unselfish: Nurturing, kindness, and sacrifice

In our most committed relationship, we feel a combination of two or three different forms of love. Understanding what forms of love your partner appreciates can help your relationship.

Romantic and passionate love can fade over time and mature into a committed love.

Couples can rekindle the sparks of early courtship simply by doing something novel together. Studies show that partners who regularly share new experiences report greater boosts in marital happiness.

Committed couples do have more sex than everyone else. But Americans who are not having that much physical intimacy are just as happy as their more active counterparts.

Sexual frequency declines 3.2 percent a year after the age of 25. But the good news is that what married couples lack in quantity they make up for in quality. *

Ways you can protect your relationship:

  • Avoid opportunity. Avoid situations that could lead to bad decisions, such as late nights with colleagues.
  • Plan ahead for temptation. Remind yourself of steps you will take to avoid temptation and protect your relationship.
  • Picture your beloved. Focus on loving thoughts and the joy of your family.
  • Keep your relationship interesting.

Learn to fight constructively. The aim is to leave you feeling better about your partner.

  • Identify the complaint, not the criticism.
  • Avoid "you" phrases. '"You never" and "You always" followed by criticism.
  • Consider your pronouns. Starting your sentence with "I" or "We" will help identify problems, rather than blaming.
  • Body language. No eye-rolling, folded arms, or crossed legs. Look at your partner when you speak.
  • Learn to de-escalate. Useful phrases include "What if we...", "I hear what you're saying..."

Fights about money are really about a couple's values and shared goals and seldom about finances itself.

  • Be honest about all your spending.
  • Maintain some financial independence. Both sides can have their discretionary pot of money to spend on whatever they want.
  • Invest in the relationship. When you do have money to spend, spend it on the relationship.

The top three predictors of a happy marriage among parents are:

  • Sexual intimacy
  • Commitment to the relationship.
  • Generosity. It's about sharing, caring and kind gestures you make toward your partner every day.
  • Stay generous toward your partner. Continue to express your affection. Do small things for your partner like bringing them coffee.
  • Personal growth. If your partner is helping you become a better person, you become happier and more content.
  • Be decisive. Intentionally define your relationship.
  • Invest in relationships with friends and family.
  • To strengthen a marriage, consider asking less. That means leaning on others for emotional support from time to time.
  • Watch a love story. A movie about relationships can help couples work out problems in the real world.
The Art Of Having True Friends

Friendship, which is an important class of relationships as it goes beyond family and relatives, is at its core about value.

A person could be willing to give us their time, money, resources, social benefits and energy if there is something in it for them. It can be prestige, attractiveness, status or other factors that are perceived valuable. This isn’t meant to be cold-hearted or mean, but is how we behave unconsciously.

A kind, beneficent act of gratitude or help often kickstarts a friendship if it is reciprocated by the other person. Words don’t mean as much as genuine demonstrations of friendship.

If something sticks, the relationship can transform into a meaningful and engaging relationship. Sometimes there is an inner connection or liking that develops into the closeness of the heart.

The Need To Connect
  • We all have a biological need to connect, an ability and desire to share our emotions with those around us. This is known as Limbic Resonance.
  • Our connection with the other deeply impacts our emotional and physical health, as we synchronize with the other.
  • Experiments done on babies in the 13th century illustrated that they would die if deprived of the human connection.
  • Divorce rates are higher among couples not able to engage, resonate or respond to the others' need to connect.

A Harvard Study of Adult Development followed and documented a large number of people over their entire lifetimes, and after 75 years, the researchers came to a conclusion that good relationships are a primary cause of health and happiness, significantly more than wealth, fame or working hard.

People who are socially connected to their loved ones, friends and society are healthier, happier and live longer than the people who are lonely. The isolated people turn toxic, with their health and brain functions declining at an earlier stage of life.

People feel better if they are understood, heard, and appreciated. Even talking to a homeless man for a few seconds will light up his eyes and make him feel recognized. Being lonely for so long, he might have forgotten that he even exists.

  • Listening is one of the most important but hardest skills to achieve. The stuff we want to say, our ego, and impatience get in the way of being a good listener.
  • A simple trick to be an effective listener is to focus on listening actively with the intention to summarize what the other person is saying, instead of focusing on your upcoming reply.

If you summarize to the speaker what you have listened to, asking intelligent questions, it will create an extraordinary effect, as the other person will realize that you were genuinely listening.

To show that you resonate with the other person, you have to be genuinely empathetic and able to ask worthy questions.

If you are cutting short the conversation, stating your opinions, or saying ‘I understand’, ‘I see’ or ‘interesting’ a lot, it signals to the speaker that you are not really listening.

When opening the door for someone, we have to understand the need and the timing of the activity.

We have to build trust by being attentive to their needs and interests, opening the door at just the right moment. This is crucial for the power of resonance to work.

© Brainstash, Inc

AboutCuratorsJobsPress KitTopicsTerms of ServicePrivacy PolicySitemap