In simple terms, agreements are beliefs and systems that we live by.From the moment we are born, we are taught how to behave, how to dream, what is acceptable behaviour and what is not.These are all agreements that we soak up like a sponge. We don't defy because we don't have the mental power to do so at a young age and rebellion causes punishments.These agreements later become a book of law which we use in judging ourselves. Now, as adults, we dont need our parents or teachers to discipline us because we have the Judge, born from the law book, who criticises our behaviour.

What are Agreements?

The problem is, many of the agreements we adhere to are wrong.This book forces you to challenge your own systems and beliefs

These four agreements are part of the wisdom of the Toltec people, a community who had been very successful. They're a bit similar to the Stoics.The agreements include:1. Be impeccable with your word2. Never take anything personally3. Dont make assumptions4. Always do your best

The Four Agreements

Your word is very powerful. It can manifest and it can destroy. A double edged swordThe word can cast spells and spread emotional poison through gossiping, making hurtful comments about a person, etcWe should be impeccable with our word in that we speak good to and about ourselves and are mindful in the way we talk to others. We should use our word to create and spread positivity.The reason why so many people gossip and say hurtful thing is because misery likes company.Be Mindful of the company you keep. Keep good ones whoencourage you to grow and make you happy

Be Impeccable With Your Word

Both good and bad statements, don't take any personally. Don't let someone else's emotional garbage become yours. When you're insulted by someone, the moment you agree with that statement, it has been planted in your mind that yes'I'm stupid''I'm fat''I'm ugly'Your mind is a fertile land, be careful of what you allow to grow there because that won't only shape your reality, it would become your realityThis agreement, like the first, would be hard to implement but when you learn to not take anything personally, be it compliments or insults, it becomes very liberating

Never Take Anything Personally

Making assumptions causes unnecessary anxiety, create problems that dont exist, brings pain and fosters miscommunicationInstead, engage in open and honest communication in your relationships. This would promote trust and clarity.Learn to give people the benefit of doubt...but do not be stupid and in denial

Don't Make Assumptions

When you try your best and commit, truly commit. The judge would find it hard to fault you because you gave it all.This final agreement is what would solidify the first three because implementing these agreements would be very hard and you would fail several timesBut When you decide to keep pushing and keep doing your best, it would definitely be in reach someday and one may become the master of these four agreements.

Always Do Your Best

The only reason you are happy is because you choose to be happy. Happiness is a choice, and so is suffering.

There are three ways to break old agreements1. Identify agreements that you have that are false and causing you to live an unhappy life then let go of them. Believing in them is what gives them power over you2. Forgive the people who have implanted these wrong agreements in your mind because they didnt know. Forgive yourself too so you may have peace3. Remember that you may die at any point so make memories, love, enjoy your life and live it

Breaking Old Agreements

This book talks about 4 agreements that can transform one's personal hell into paradise

In The Four Agreements, bestselling author don Miguel Ruiz reveals the source of self-limiting beliefs that rob us of joy and create needless suffering. Based on ancient Toltec wisdom, The Four Agreements offer a powerful code of conduct that can rapidly transform our lives to a new experience of freedom, true happiness, and love. •  A New York Times bestseller for over a decade •  Translated into 50 languages worldwide   “This book by don Miguel Ruiz, simple yet so powerful, has made a tremendous difference in how I think and act in every encounter.” — Oprah Winfrey “Don Miguel Ruiz’s book is a roadmap to enlightenment and freedom.” — Deepak Chopra, Author, The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success “An inspiring book with many great lessons.” — Wayne Dyer, Author, Real Magic “In the tradition of Castaneda, Ruiz distills essential Toltec wisdom, expressing with clarity and impeccability what it means for men and women to live as peaceful warriors in the modern world.” — Dan Millman, Author, Way of the Peaceful Warrior

books

Books

Don Miguel Ruiz is an accomplished writer whose work has resonated with readers around the world. Don Miguel Ruiz has published several books that explore a range of topics, from fiction to nonfiction, and has received critical acclaim for the ability to weave compelling narratives. Don Miguel Ruiz's writing style is known for its depth and authenticity, and has earned quite a loyal following of readers.

Don Miguel Ruiz

Janet Mills is an accomplished writer whose work has resonated with readers around the world. Janet Mills has published several books that explore a range of topics, from fiction to nonfiction, and has received critical acclaim for the ability to weave compelling narratives. Janet Mills's writing style is known for its depth and authenticity, and has earned quite a loyal following of readers.

Janet Mills

Many people are so stressed out because they give f*cks about too many thingsMany of which are irrelevant. This books tells us to choose what to give a f*ck about and commit to it. This means rejecting anything that opposes itE.g if you decide that settling down is something to give a f*ck about, then you should reject things like partying and one night stands or flings

Why Life Is Hard

Good values shapes us and our behaviour.They are also the metrics by which we define concepts such as success. Having good values and metrics is important in living a good lifeE.g A person whose metric of success is being better at something than someone else wont find happiness or peace because they are constantly looking for the next thing to conquer while consistently comparing themselves to others

Importance Of Good Values

Narrowing choices, specialising and committing to a single thing is more fulfilling than having a bit of several thingsHowever, one should still venture and explore other options or ideas or places so as to have a broad perspective. After which one can then choose to settle on sometjing

Less Is More

Subtlety #1: Not giving a fuck does not mean being indifferent; it means being comfortable with being different.

The sooner one realises that the world doesn't owe one anything neither does one owe the world anything, the better one's life would be.You are not special and shouldn't be treated any different

Self Entit

Taking responsibility for your life is choosing how to react and deal with situations that you find yourself inIt also means owning up to faults when one is in the wrongResponsibility And Fault are not the same thingFor example, sometimes in life, we are dealt a bad hand, that isnt our fault but we still have to find ways to deal with it and taresponsibility

Responsibility And Fault

Ernst Becker in his famous book, the denial of death says there is our physical self and our conceptual selfThe physical self is the body, who eats, sleeps, drinks etcThe conceptual self is the idea of ourselvesWe know we are going to die and are terrified of it and in an attempt to not truly die, we embark on projects and try to imprint on the world, building hospitals, making discoveries, spending time with family and loved ones and stuff so even long after we're dead, we havent been forgotten and dont really die.And that's truly worth giving a fck about

Death Terror

We should think about death more often. Accepting the fragility of your life and that you would die someday not only liberates you but also helps you in living a more guided and mindful lifeStop being afraid and start living a

What Legacy Are You Leaving Behind?

The book talks about the importance of giving a f*ck to only important matters and also having good values

#1 New York Times BestsellerOver 10 million copies soldIn this generation-defining self-help guide, a superstar blogger cuts through the crap to show us how to stop trying to be "positive" all the time so that we can truly become better, happier people.For decades, we’ve been told that positive thinking is the key to a happy, rich life. "F**k positivity," Mark Manson says. "Let’s be honest, shit is f**ked and we have to live with it." In his wildly popular Internet blog, Manson doesn’t sugarcoat or equivocate. He tells it like it is—a dose of raw, refreshing, honest truth that is sorely lacking today. The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k is his antidote to the coddling, let’s-all-feel-good mindset that has infected American society and spoiled a generation, rewarding them with gold medals just for showing up.Manson makes the argument, backed both by academic research and well-timed poop jokes, that improving our lives hinges not on our ability to turn lemons into lemonade, but on learning to stomach lemons better. Human beings are flawed and limited—"not everybody can be extraordinary, there are winners and losers in society, and some of it is not fair or your fault." Manson advises us to get to know our limitations and accept them. Once we embrace our fears, faults, and uncertainties, once we stop running and avoiding and start confronting painful truths, we can begin to find the courage, perseverance, honesty, responsibility, curiosity, and forgiveness we seek.There are only so many things we can give a f**k about so we need to figure out which ones really matter, Manson makes clear. While money is nice, caring about what you do with your life is better, because true wealth is about experience. A much-needed grab-you-by-the-shoulders-and-look-you-in-the-eye moment of real-talk, filled with entertaining stories and profane, ruthless humor, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k is a refreshing slap for a generation to help them lead contented, grounded lives.

Understand yourself and those around you.

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Psychology

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Philosophy

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Personal Development

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Society, Arts & Culture

Mark Manson (born 1984) is a professional blogger, entrepreneur, and former dating coach. Since 2007, he's been helping people with their emotional and relationship problems. He has worked with thousands of people from over 30 different countries. He regularly writes and updates his blog at: www.markmanson.net

The Four Agreements

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck

Aisha