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In simple terms, agreements are beliefs and systems that we live by.
From the moment we are born, we are taught how to behave, how to dream, what is acceptable behaviour and what is not.
These are all agreements that we soak up like a sponge. We don't defy because we don't have the mental power to do so at a young age and rebellion causes punishments.
These agreements later become a book of law which we use in judging ourselves. Now, as adults, we dont need our parents or teachers to discipline us because we have the Judge, born from the law book, who criticises our behaviour.
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These four agreements are part of the wisdom of the Toltec people, a community who had been very successful. They're a bit similar to the Stoics.
The agreements include:
1. Be impeccable with your word
2. Never take anything personally
3. Dont make assumptions
4. Always do your best
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Your word is very powerful. It can manifest and it can destroy. A double edged sword
The word can cast spells and spread emotional poison through gossiping, making hurtful comments about a person, etc
We should be impeccable with our word in that we speak good to and about ourselves and are mindful in the way we talk to others. We should use our word to create and spread positivity.
The reason why so many people gossip and say hurtful thing is because misery likes company.
Be Mindful of the company you keep. Keep good ones whoencourage you to grow and make you happy
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Both good and bad statements, don't take any personally. Don't let someone else's emotional garbage become yours. When you're insulted by someone, the moment you agree with that statement, it has been planted in your mind that yes
'I'm stupid'
'I'm fat'
'I'm ugly'
Your mind is a fertile land, be careful of what you allow to grow there because that won't only shape your reality, it would become your reality
This agreement, like the first, would be hard to implement but when you learn to not take anything personally, be it compliments or insults, it becomes very liberating
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Making assumptions causes unnecessary anxiety, create problems that dont exist, brings pain and fosters miscommunication
Instead, engage in open and honest communication in your relationships. This would promote trust and clarity.
Learn to give people the benefit of doubt...but do not be stupid and in denial
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When you try your best and commit, truly commit. The judge would find it hard to fault you because you gave it all.
This final agreement is what would solidify the first three because implementing these agreements would be very hard and you would fail several times
But When you decide to keep pushing and keep doing your best, it would definitely be in reach someday and one may become the master of these four agreements.
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The only reason you are happy is because you choose to be happy. Happiness is a choice, and so is suffering.
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There are three ways to break old agreements
1. Identify agreements that you have that are false and causing you to live an unhappy life then let go of them. Believing in them is what gives them power over you
2. Forgive the people who have implanted these wrong agreements in your mind because they didnt know. Forgive yourself too so you may have peace
3. Remember that you may die at any point so make memories, love, enjoy your life and live it
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IDEAS CURATED BY
CURATOR'S NOTE
This book talks about 4 agreements that can transform one's personal hell into paradise
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Curious about different takes? Check out our The Four Agreements Summary book page to explore multiple unique summaries written by Deepstash users.
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Curious about different takes? Check out our book page to explore multiple unique summaries written by Deepstash curators:
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