The shorter the distance from home you travel, the lower your carbon footprint. <ul><li>Find local adventures, such as walking in unexplored areas of your neighbourhood or visiting museums in your city. Consider driving a few hours to a beach or forest.</li><li>Places with the lightest footprint include Slovenia's cities and towns and Spain's locations.</li><li>More popular tourist destinations. Consider going outside peak months. Stay longer, choose accredited accommodation, and find local activities that give back to residents.</li><li>Visit places that need volunteering and support.</li></ul>

Where to go

<ul><li>Use an eco-friendly booking site for accommodation. Sites should calculate your carbon footprint per night and include eco-friendly ratings.</li><li>Consider using a sustainable travel agent that organises trips and activities for you that consider environmental and social impact. </li><li>Look for a verification system to determine if a business is simply greenwashing.</li><li>Seek out local experiences. </li></ul>

Once you've chosen your destination

If you want to see the world, but also make your trips more sustainable, here are some tips: where to go, what to pack and how you to get there. 

Stashed ideas

Be a More Sustainable Traveler - Travel Guides

Curiosity drives most of us to learn something new. However, turning the desire for knowledge into new capabilities requires a plan that consists of small, clear goals. The most effective strategy for reaching learning goals consists of three main elements. ﻿The 3 x 3 x 3 approach<ol><li>Three clear and immediate goals.</li><li>Three months in which to meet those goals.</li><li>Three other people who are able to support and monitor your progress on goals and hold you accountable.</li></ol>

Learning something new

When setting development goals, focus on only three goals at any time. More may be counterproductive and divide your focus and energy. On the other hand, too few may cause you to miss opportunities to broaden your impact and increase performance. For example, a mid-career professional might want to work on being a better coach for employees, broaden her network of contacts in the industry, and improve her enterprise-wide focus in leadership meetings.

Three goals: The Goldilocks zone.

Setting a limited time helps you understand the importance of building a plan and process to achieve the goal you've set. The ideal time may vary depending on the goal. However, three months is often effective for achieving development goals. <ol><li>Three months is enough "runway" time to make clear progress. The period forces us to be specific in our goals.</li><li>Three months aligns with many natural rhythms, such as quarterly reporting or updates.</li><li>Three months forces us to break down longer-term goals into achievable parts.</li></ol>

Three months

We naturally prefer to keep our goals to ourselves. It prevents embarrassment if we don't achieve those goals. However, involving others in our learning is the most powerful way to reach our goals. For example, people find it easier to lose weight or exercise regularly when they're part of a support network instead of trying on their own. There is no limit to how many people you can enlist to support you. However, try to include at least three people. It creates a healthy discipline in understanding what kind of support you need.

Three people to help with your development goals

The 3x3x3 approach is an effective strategy to continually learn, grow, and achieve development goals.

Intentional learning in practice: A 3x3x3 approach

Recent decades are known for its fast fashion that adds to our overcrowded closets and landfills.
<ul>
<li>Americans discard 85 percent of the clothing they buy - about 15 million tons of textile waste a year.</li>
<li>The average lifetime of clothes is three years.</li>
<li>The clothing industry cause about 10 percent of global greenhouse gas emissions.</li>
</ul>
One eco-conscious solution is to buy thrifted items and upcycle them.

Upcycling as a solution to fast fashion

Type "upcycled clothing" in a search bar, and you'll have thousands of examples, such as skirts made from recycled jeans or lace tablecloths and flannel shirts that become boho dresses. YouTube videos give step-by-step hacks for any type of clothing. Costume designers are experts at turning unwanted items into desiring ones.

Upcycling on the rise

<ul><li>Doilies can be used as appliqués or turned into lace cuffs.</li><li>Outdated men's coats and tweed blazers can be turned into vests and newsboy's caps or cut into flower shapes, which can be used to decorate a plain coat or sweater.</li><li>Men's cotton shirts can be cut up for various purposes. 100 percent cotton shirts can become quilt projects, or shirt collars or sleeves can be replaced with a different style.</li><li>Even limited sewing skills can go a long way. Replacing standard buttons can make a dull jacket special.</li></ul>

Upcycling examples

Environmentally aware brands are finding ways to buy back, repair, recycle and rework the clothing. These companies are hoping to inspire other brands to refresh and replenish old garments. Together with customers, clothing companies want to take up responsibility for the life of their garments.

Large clothing producers embracing upcycling

This new trend in the fashion industry reduces waste and remakes your old clothes into new gems.

Everything You Need to Know About Upcycling

Friend Swiping, or using or managing your friends’ dating profile for prospects, is a fun activity for many young people around the world, hooked in the foggy world of online dating. 
Swiping for friends has an appeal that exceeds the fun of managing one’s own profile.

Friend Swiping

Many young, single people are curious about dating apps but don’t want to display their own moniker to others, afraid of appearing desperate and uncool.
They quell their Dating App FOMO (fear of missing out) and general fascination about online match-making by grabbing their friend's phone and checking out profiles, curious to know more about the kind of people who are attracted to each other.

Dating App Curiosity

Many apps like Tinder are designed and positioned as a game, while not being called so. People who are out of the game seem to quench their thirst about it by looking at how others play it and playing it for them too.
Many dating app users have ‘dating app fatigue’ or ‘swiping fatigue’ and are more than happy to hand the reins over to their trusted friends, who enjoy the proxy match-making.

Dating Apps Are Games In Disguise

Mashable is a global, multi-platform media and entertainment company.

Love & Family

Swiping For Friends: Why Managing Others' Dating Apps Is So Damn Fun!

Breakups are hard as it is, but it gets more complicated when we are trying to move on from someone that wasn’t even our romantic partner.
An unrealized relationship is when we put someone on a pedestal, assuming that ours would be a great match. When nothing materializes and life takes a turn, it can be just as heartbreaking as a real romantic relationship and one can feel grief, sadness, rejection and disappointment.

Breaking Up With Someone You Never Dated

One can fall for a friend who is dating someone else and does not share the same feelings. Office infatuation is common, often with people who are unavailable or unapproachable.
<ul>
<li>The first step to heal breakups of pseudo-relationships (or even imaginary ones) is to acknowledge that feeling.</li>
<li>The next step is to stop fantasizing about the other person, getting out of the dream world.</li>
</ul>

The People That We Love

Even if the pain wasn’t logical, it is still pain. The need of the hour is to talk to your support group and cry if the need arises. If you need to go out, have some fun, grieve, sulk and simply express what you feeling, letting your heart out.
If talking isn’t your thing, you can put your feelings and thoughts in a journal, which is a great healing tool. If the person you have fallen for is your friend, you might want to move away from a friendship or take a break to allow your healing.

Breaking Up With Someone You Never Dated: Only The Pain Is Real

Time can heal these feelings of imaginary love or infatuation, which is often unrequited. Such feelings are an indication of our own emptiness, as we try to fill the vacuum by allowing such emotions to take shape.
Professional counselling can help find the root cause of this loneliness that is causing such feelings, especially if it happens often.

Your Own Inner Emptiness

<ol>
<li>Staying busy with your work, or redirecting your energies to a goal that you always wanted to accomplish.</li>
<li>Connecting with friends and loved ones, letting your mind off the constant feeling of rejection or pain.</li>
</ol>

Ways To Fill An Empty Heart

We are all entitled to our feelings. It's possible to feel sadness when you're trying to get over someone you never dated. Read on to gain more insights into this and learn how getting over someone you never dated is just as painful as a breakup.

The Paradox Of Getting Over Someone You Never Dated

And we tend to interpret the pain incorrectly - we connect rejection to our self-worth, which makes us feel worse.
Rejection can benefit you. It can build resilience and help you grow and use the lessons you learn to future setbacks.

Rejection hurts

People often look to external forces to feel validated instead of internal ones. When rejection comes to your dream opportunity, try to remember that your career path is not a straight line. Not every experience will move you forward.
Rejection does not end your goal. Think of rejection as growth. It could guide you to a new path that will eventually lead you to better places, even if it sometimes takes a bit longer to get there.

Rejection and career setbacks

It's very easy to idealize the other person and the relationship while experiencing rejection. Sometimes, a breakup can make you feel inadequate and unworthy. 
List all the traits you didn't appreciate about your partner to help you become aware of how you were incompatible and pinpoint the characteristics you want in the next relationship. When looking for other potential partners, try to ask questions about the values that are vital to you.

Rejection when going through a breakup

Friendship breakups can hurt more than romantic ones. It is necessary to realise that friends come and go. You can use it as an opportunity to ask yourself if this is the type of person you want to be friends with.
After some time has passed and you find yourself missing that friendship, reach out to see if the person wants to get together. Allowing some time to pass can help people approach a friendship with a new perspective.

Rejection when a friendship ended

Family members rejecting each other can be particularly painful. If a family member has rejected you, turn to online forums to connect or reach out to friends to find support from others in a similar situation. See how others effectively handled the situation.
We often assume there's nothing we can do about it, but when you educate yourself, you begin to understand why you feel the way you do.

When a family member cuts you out

Sometimes we think we're being rejected when that is not true. Not getting a lot of likes on a post or seeing your friends having fun without you can make you feel inadequate.
But you can use social media in a positive way.
<ul>
<li>Use social media for conversations. Send direct messages to friends or comment on friends' posts.</li>
<li>Follow people and connect to people in real life that make you feel like you belong.</li>
<li>Most importantly, remind yourself of all the positive people in your life that you are grateful for.</li>
</ul>

Social media and self-esteem

Here's how to deal with rejection whether it relates to love, friends or a job.

The Secrets to Dealing With Rejection, According to Experts

The history of Valentine's Day can be traced back to ancient Rome.
From 13 to 15 February, ancient Romans celebrated the feast of Lupercalia. Roman men sacrificed goats before using their skins to whip women, believing this would make them fertile.

Valentines day is not a modern idea

At the end of the 5th century, Pope Gelasius I declared 14 February to be Valentine's Day. He attempted to reclaim the festival of the Romans and Christianise it. It is not certain which St Valentine this day was initially dedicated to. Both saints were martyred in Rome: Valentine of Terni around AD 197 and Valentine of Rome around AD 496.

Valentines day becomes Christianised

In 1382, Geoffrey Chaucer wrote his poem Parlement of Foules. The poem contains the first recorded instance of St Valentine's Day being linked to romantic love.
"For this was on seynt Volantynys day Whan euery foul comyth there to chese his make."
Some argue that Chaucer was talking of May time when birds are more likely to mate in England. This coincides with the feast of St Valentine of Genoa that falls in May.

Valentine's Day linked to love

<ul>
<li>In the 15th century, 14 February became an annual feast day in France. Banquets with singing and dancing were held to celebrate romantic love.</li>
<li>During this time, a Frenchman, imprisoned in the Tower of London, wrote the earliest surviving Valentine's greeting to his wife. "I am already sick of love, my very gentle Valentine."</li>
<li>By the 17th century, Shakespeare mentions Valentine's Day in Hamlet. "To-morrow is Saint Valentine's day, All in the morning betime, And I a maid at your window, To be your Valentine."</li>
<li>In the 18th century, the most famous Valentine's poem was found in a collection of nursery rhymes. "The rose is red, the violet's blue, The honey's sweet, and so are you."</li>
</ul>

The first Valentine's greetings

The first Valentine's day cards were sent in the 18th century.
Initially, it was handmade cards. Lovers would decorate paper with romantic symbols like flowers and love knots. It often included puzzles and lines of poetry. These cards were then slipped secretly under a door, or tied to a door-knocker. Pre-printed cards initially appeared in Georgian Britain, although they only became popular later on.

The first Valentine’s cards

In the early 19th-century, the industrialisation of Britain brought with it advances in printing and manufacturing technologies. Mass-produced Valentine's cards became very popular.
A collection of over 1,700 cards is still held at the Museum of London. Cards feature elaborate paper lacework, embossing, and other intricate designs. Typical imagery includes flowers, love knots, and cupid. Hearts were sometimes used, but the Victorian cards did not feature red hearts like they do today.

Victorian valentines

The less loved-up bought 'Vinegar Valentines' to use as an insult. These cards typically poke fun at a man's profession or a woman's appearance.
One example is a card that features a cartoon of a woman with a large nose. It reads:
"On account of your talk of others’ affairs At most dances you sit warming the chairs. Because of the care with which you attend To all others’ business you haven’t a friend."

Not all Victorian Valentine's cards were romantic

In the mid-19th century, Valentine's cards gained popularity in America, where they were first advertised as a British fashion.
In 1913, Hallmark Cards produced their own Valentin's card, representing a key development in Valentine's Day's commercialisation. Today Valentine's Day also includes buying flowers, jewellery, perfume, and chocolates.

The commercialisation of Valentine’s Day

Behind the commercialisation of Valentine's Day lies a fascinating history that can be traced back to ancient Rome

A history of Valentine's Day celebrations – from fertility festivals to the first cards

The most common reason people cite why their marriage fail is that people marry someone for the wrong reasons, such as pressure from friends and family, being together for image, thinking that love will solve everything.
But what makes a relationship work is a genuine, deep-level admiration for each other.

Be together for the right reasons

Romantic love, though able to make us feel ecstatic at times, is also irrational and temporary. 
True love is impervious to emotional whims or fancy. It is a constant commitment to a person regardless of present circumstances. Some days will be a struggle, and other days you will feel like the luckiest person in the world. True love is more satisfying and meaningful and brings true happiness, not just a series of highs.

Realistic relationship expectations

People who have been through divorces almost always say communication is the most important thing. But the thing people with happy marriages consider the most important is a deep respect for their partner as well as respect for themselves. 
<ul>
<li>Respect means never talking bad about your partner or complain about them to your friends.</li>
<li>Respect that they have different hobbies, interests, and perspectives.</li>
<li>Respect that they have an equal say in the relationship, that you are a team.</li>
<li>No secrets. Respect means you feel safe sharing your deepest, most intimate selves with each other.</li>
</ul>

Respect in relationships

If something bothers you in the relationship, you must be willing to say it out loud to your partner. Doing so builds trust, and trust creates intimacy. If you cannot trust, you cannot be trusted.
<ul>
<li>Share those insecure things you hate sharing with people. You and your partner need to have a good understanding of each other's insecurities.</li>
<li>Make promises and then stick to them.</li>
<li>Learn to discern your partner's shady behaviour from your own insecurities and vice-versa.</li>
</ul>

Trust builds intimacy

It is not your partner's responsibility to make you happy. Each one should figure out what makes them happy as an individual, then you both bring that to the relationship.
Every relationship requires sacrifices at times, but problems arise when your happiness is contingent on the other person.

A healthy relationship consists of healthy individuals

If you love your partner enough, you will let them be who they are.
Have your own interests, your own friends, your own support network, and your own hobbies, Overlap where you can, but different interests should give you a lot to talk about and help expand your horizons as a couple. The inability to let your partner be who they are is a subtle form of disrespect.

Giving your partner space

If there is a bedrock of respect for each individual's interests and values underpinning the relationship, each individual is encouraged to foster their own growth and development. Each individual will evolve in different and unexpected ways.
When you commit to someone, you know who they are today, but you have no idea who this person is going to be in ten years. You have to be prepared for the unexpected.

Embrace the change that comes from growth

Relationships, like muscles, cannot get stronger without stress and challenge. You will have to fight at times and hash things out. However, it is essential to know how to fight.
<ul>
<li>Never criticize your partner's character or belittle them. "You're so stupid" vs "that thing you did was stupid."</li>
<li>Do not fetch old arguments to tack onto current ones.</li>
<li>If things get too heated, take a breather. Come back once emotions have cooled off a bit.</li>
<li>Being "right is not as important as both people feeling respected and heard.</li>
</ul>

Relationship advice: Get good at fighting

Most successful couples don't resolve all their problems. It comes back to respecting your partner, who will have different values and perspectives on some things. The key here is to abide by the difference, love them despite it, and when things get a little rough, forgive them for it. To get good at forgiveness, remember:
<ul>
<li>When an argument is over, it's over. It doesn't matter if someone was mean and someone was nice. It's over.</li>
<li>There's no scoreboard. There's no, "You owe me this because you didn't do the laundry last week."</li>
<li>When your partner messes up, separate the intentions from the behaviour. They messed up, not because they secretly hate you, but out of ignorance. Believe in their good intentions.</li>
</ul>

Get good at forgiveness

Don't ever stop doing the little things, such as saying "I love you"; holding hands during a movie; doing small favours here and there; helping with some household chores.
The little things add up. Don't forget them.

Never stop doing the little things in a relationship

A relationship is not 50/50. We all have things we like to do and hate to do. We all have things we are good at and not so good at. One partner may work harder outside the home, and the other may have a more relaxed position. 
Be practical in figuring out the division of labour in running the household. Lay out rules about how you will share finances, how much debt will be taken on, how much each person can spend without consulting the other. Have meetings about this stuff.

Create practical relationship rules

Relationships exist as waves - we need to learn how to ride them. Some waves last for hours, some for months or even years. The key to success is to understand that few of those waves have anything to do with the quality of the relationship. 
People lose jobs, family members die, couples relocate. You may go through times where you may not feel "in love" and times where you love your partner more than ever. Your job as a committed partner is to simply ride the waves with the person you love. Because in the end, none of these waves will last.

Learn to ride the waves

Every Successful Relationship Is Successful for the Same Exact Reasons

We can't deny that drama surrounds us everywhere we go. We can see it on social media or on television and despite of our best intentions to not get involved, we can't seem to avert our attention away from it. 
From a biological standpoint, we are hardwired to love the novelty, the constant stimulation that the drama provides. However, drama does not lead us towards meaningful lives and it keeps us from the stillness and reflection and deep conversation that make our lives meaningful.

Distracted by Drama

The Karpman Drama Triangle was developed in 1968 by psychologist Stephen Karpman in order to exhibit our dysfunctional behavior towards interpersonal drama.
 He recognized the feelings of entertainment and addiction towards conflicts despite of its harmful effects to our mental health. There are three roles in a conflict:
<ol>
<li>The victim</li>
<li>The persecutor</li>
<li>The rescuer.</li>
</ol>

The Karpman Drama Triangle

<ul>
<li>The Victim: While they are not the actual victims, they are the ones who often feel oppressed and victimized. They are self-pitying and act helpless most of the time.</li>
<li>The Persecutor: Is made out to be controlling and critical by the victims. However, when we do take up this role we are often angry, rigid, and have feelings of superiority.</li>
<li>The Rescuer: They are known as the enablers; they don't actually help the victims because they keep the victims stuck in their roles.</li>
</ul>

Dysfunctional Roles In A Relationship

<ul>
<li>Don't engage: Getting involved in a drama is a choice.</li>
<li>Question the prevailing beliefs: Do not believe everything you're thinking. Ask yourself first if your involvement would really help? </li>
<li>Take on a different role in the conflict: Instead of playing with dysfunctional roles we can choose to play constructive ones instead. We can choose not to be the victim, the persecutor, or the rescuer.</li>
</ul>

Progressing From The Drama

<ul>
<li>Victims can become creators who do not succumb to the temptation to wallow in the unfairness of it all. Let us be outcome-oriented instead of being problem-oriented.</li>
<li>Persecutors can become challengers who urges the victims to clarify their needs and focus on their own learning and personal growth. </li>
<li>Rescuers can become coaches who sees the victims being able to make their own choices and who can solve their own problems. They help the creators see the possibilities for positive action.</li>
</ul>

Constructive Roles In The Relationship

Christine Carter offers tips to avoid getting sucked into unnecessary conflict.

How to Ditch the Drama in Your Relationships

Some people will pursue multiple relationships simultaneously because of a fear of abandonment. 
They want to have a backup relationship in case something goes wrong, but in doing so, they are putting their relationship at risk, living a lie, and not dealing with their fear of abandonment in a healthy way.

Fear of abandonment

<ul>
<li>You feel jealous often.</li>
<li>You go overboard in the relationship.</li>
<li>You have thoughts about their partner or spouse leaving you.</li>
<li>You demand an unrealistic portion of time with your significant other.</li>
<li>You have difficulty in trusting their partner or spouse and are controlling.</li>
<li>You always look out for the next relationship or significant other to replace the one most recently lost.</li>
<li>You feel unworthy, less than or unworthy of love.</li>
<li>You have lower self-esteem/ self-confidence.</li>
<li>You end relationships before the other person can.</li>
<li>You stay in unhealthy or abusive relationships because of the fear of being abandoned or alone.</li>
<li>You will pursue relationships with people who are emotionally unavailable.</li>
</ul>

Signs of the fear of abandonment

Generally, people who have a fear of abandonment feel they are not worthy of being loved.
When a child is attached to someone, and the person leaves them, they are left feeling that they were not fully loved. Even though this is likely not the truth, the child will wonder what made them unlovable. As an adult, they may still feel there is something about them that makes them not worthy. They often believe they should control things so that the person doesn't leave them.

The reason behind the fear of abandonment

<ul>
<li>The first step in overcoming the fear of abandonment is to realise that you are worthy of love, flaws and all.If you are in a relationship, don't allow it to become your identity or the center of your worth.</li>
<li>Become emotionally self-reliant. A relationship does not define you. Remind yourself often that it is not another person's job to make you feel emotionally secure. That security comes first from you. </li>
<li>Consider where your fear of abandonment started. </li>
<li>You may never entirely eliminate your fear of abandonment, but you can control your reactions to the fear. When you recognise fearful moments in your relationship, you can channel the thoughts into positive self-talk. </li>
<li>Accept the idea of being alone. If you have a relationship that ends, see it as an opportunity to embrace a season of singleness. Your worth is not based on your relationship status.</li>
<li>Your fear of abandonment causes you to fixate on your partner to the exclusion of any other friendships. To have a balanced life, you need friends beyond one singular person. You need a network of people who can be your support system. </li>
</ul>

Overcoming the fear of abandonment

Deal with your fear of abandonment today so you can live a better life now -- tips on how to recognize and overcome your fear of abandonment.

Bite-sized knowledge
to upgrade
your career

Carlos B.
@carlos_tb

Be a More Sustainable Traveler - Travel Guides

Intentional learning in practice: A 3x3x3 approach

Everything You Need to Know About Upcycling

Swiping For Friends: Why Managing Others' Dating Apps Is So Damn Fun!

The Paradox Of Getting Over Someone You Never Dated

Bite-sized knowledgeto upgradeyour career

Carlos B.@carlos_tb

Be a More Sustainable Traveler - Travel Guides

Intentional learning in practice: A 3x3x3 approach

Everything You Need to Know About Upcycling

Swiping For Friends: Why Managing Others' Dating Apps Is So Damn Fun!

The Paradox Of Getting Over Someone You Never Dated

Bite-sized knowledge
to upgrade
your career

Carlos B.
@carlos_tb