<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">There are many industries helping people improve as leaders, parents, or in other areas, but there's little focus on how to be a good friend.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Friendship plays a crucial role in addressing mental health challenges like stress, depression, anxiety, addiction, and even our obsession with longevity.</li><li class="ql-align-justify"> It is important to understand and nurture friendship in contemporary life.</li></ul>

Friendship as a 'Biohack'

When we say we've sacrificed something for our career we shouldn't be afraid to put a name to who that sacrifice was because oftentimes it was the people in our lives that we call friends.

<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">People often use the word "sacrifice" in successful careers, but that sacrifice usually involves relationships, particularly with friends.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">High performers may sacrifice friendships for work, often cancelling meeting plans, but rarely make the reverse sacrifice by prioritizing friends over work.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">In times of personal struggle, friends always step in.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">It is important to invest in friendships.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">People may sacrifice for their careers, but balancing career goals with friendships is essential, as friends provide lasting support, unlike work.</li></ul>

Your friends will be there for you, your work won't!

<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Our traditional understanding of addiction stems from a flawed experiment in the 1950s or 60s, where isolated rats became addicted to drug-laced water.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Bruce Alexander recreated the experiment with socialized rats, showing that the rats primarily chose plain water even when exposed to drug-laced water.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">This suggests that social connections and community can significantly reduce susceptibility to addiction, providing evidence that social isolation may drive addictive behaviour.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">These addictions also include social media and phone usage, which create dopamine-driven habits and loneliness.</li><li class="ql-align-justify"> </li></ul>

Rat Park

If we taught our children how to be friends, then I think, they are less likely to get addicted.

<ul><li>Society doesn't teach us how to work on friendships actively, and we may assume we are good friends without making meaningful efforts like deep, personal gestures; and showing love and support during hard times, rather we may use superficial social media posts.</li><li>Say "I love you" sincerely, it will make your friend feel safe and valued. You may initially be reserved but you will surely get more affectionate and open when you show or you are shown genuine love and affection.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Expressing love openly in friendships is important to deepen bonds and foster emotional safety and connection.</li></ul>

Say "I Love You" to a friend today.

Make an effort to cultivate and strengthen friendships, work on them intentionally and don't leave them to chance.Sustaining meaningful connections requires deliberate effort. Organize trips and gatherings, meticulously plan these events and encourage open conversations. Ask deep questions about what your friends are struggling with. By doing so, your friendships are meaningful, supportive, and never taken for granted.If you're working too hard to buy yourself an expensive boat, by the time you have the boat you may not have any friends left to take onto the boat, and spend time with.

The Best Boat is your Friend's Boat.

We don't build trust by offering help, we build trust by asking for it.

When friends hesitate to share their struggles to avoid burdening others, it denies the opportunity to strengthen the friendship. True friends value the honour of being there during difficult times, and it's in those moments that trust and closeness grow.

Asking For Help

<ul><li>Men often seek proof or case studies for the value of trust and care in relationships, while women inherently grasp its importance.</li><li>Women are generally more comfortable expressing love and affection towards their friends in comparison to men.</li></ul>

Women tend to have a better understanding of friendship and human dynamics than men

Many online communities don't focus on positive emotions like friendship, love, or connection but instead nurture anger and hate. Many members of such communities struggle with unemployment and a lack of purpose, seeking identity beyond their jobs and surroundings. Global movements, such as terrorism or white supremacy, often stem from individuals desperately searching for love and belonging, rather than pure hate. The loss of idealism and larger societal goals has driven people to find belonging in negative, destructive spaces, contributing to global divisiveness.

Looking to be Seen!

<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Despite being successful you may often neglect friendships and focus more on family and career. Friendship is often viewed as a "nice-to-have" rather than a priority, with society emphasizing family and professional roles over maintaining close friendships.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Leaders can set examples by openly prioritizing friendships; their actions influence others, including employees and family members.  </li><li class="ql-align-justify">Sharing meaningful experiences with friends is more fulfilling than doing things alone, and leaders can help change the cultural mindset by modelling this behaviour.</li></ul>

Friendship vs. Success

Many people have shifted the emotional support they once received from a community of friends onto their romantic partners, which has strained relationships. Studies show that having friends to share personal thoughts with, including discussions about a partner, can strengthen romantic bonds. This mirrors the trend in workplaces, where people now expect work to fulfill not just professional, but social, communal, and even political needs, putting excessive pressure on both romantic partners and employers to be everything. This is an unrealistic and unfair expectation.

Ignoring Friendships

A person is a person only because of the people.

Trevor's brain crushe on Simon! They obsess over 'Friendship' as a biohack to fix many modern mental ailments. 

Join Simon Sinek and Trevor Noah in this candid discussion where they dig into the critical role of friendships in mental health, success, and happiness. Simon argues that while we’re constantly improving ourselves as leaders and professionals, we neglect the deep, emotional bonds that help us thrive. 

Simon and Trevor also discuss the loneliness epidemic among young men and its link to dangerous ideologies, and why teaching the value of true friendship could change society. Watch as they share stories and insights that will inspire you to nurture your friendships and live a more balanced life.

Video from Brilliant Minds, June 2024, in conversation with @trevornoah 

⏰ Timestamps
0:00 How This Conversation Happened
1:03 Simon and Trevor's Latest Obsession
2:40 The Sacrifice of Friendship for Success
6:15 Addiction and Community
8:20 Are You a Good Friend? 
11:30 Maintaining Friendships While Traveling
14:18 The Power of Asking for Help
15:28 Do Women Understand Friendship Better Than Men?
16:25 The Rise of Angry, Isolated Men and The Global Crisis of Loneliness
19:21 Friendship vs. Success: Prioritizing People Over Work
22:01 How Ignoring Friendships Affects Romantic Relationships

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Simon is an unshakable optimist. He believes in a bright future and our ability to build it together. 

Described as “a visionary thinker with a rare intellect,” Simon has devoted his professional life to help advance a vision of the world that does not yet exist; a world in which the vast majority of people wake up every single morning inspired, feel safe wherever they are and end the day fulfilled by the work that they do.

Simon is the author of multiple best-selling books including Start With Why, Leaders Eat Last, Together is Better, and The Infinite Game.

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Website: http://simonsinek.com/
Live Online Classes: https://simonsinek.com/classes/
Podcast: http://apple.co/simonsinek
Instagram: https://instagram.com/simonsinek/
Linkedin: https://linkedin.com/in/simonsinek/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/simonsinek
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/simonsinek

Simon’s books:
The Infinite Game: https://simonsinek.com/books/the-infinite-game/
Start With Why: https://simonsinek.com/books/start-with-why/
Find Your Why: https://simonsinek.com/books/find-your-why/
Leaders Eat Last: https://simonsinek.com/books/leaders-eat-last/
Together is Better: https://simonsinek.com/books/together-is-better/

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#SimonSinek

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Simon Sinek is an unshakable optimist. He believes in a bright future and our ability to build it together.

Simon has devoted his life to help advance a vision of the world that does not yet exist; a world in which the vast majority of people wake up every single morning inspired, feel safe wherever they are and return home fulfilled at the end of the day.  Every day is an opportunity to inspire someone. 

Official Simon Sinek brand account.

Learn more at simonsinek.com.

Simon Sinek

Simon Sinek & Trevor Noah on Friendship, Loneliness, Vulnerability, and More | Full Conversation

Landing Moonshots
with Google’s Innovation Chief Dr. Astro Teller

When Simon asks Astro, "How do you get innovation out of people?"Astro breaks it down by describing what a Moonshot is. These three basic parts constitute a "Moonshot Story Hypothesis":<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">a huge problem that needs solving</li><li class="ql-align-justify">a proposed solution that sounds far-fetched and unlikely, but people agree it is probably a good solution</li><li class="ql-align-justify">a proposal that includes breakthrough technology that is better than solutions that are already known, but aren't solving the problem yet</li></ul>

A Big Enough Problem and an Imagined, Probably-Best Solution

Astro further explains:<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Be good at filtering ideas before investing time or money into them.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Understand the investment in terms of time and money. If an idea will consume too much of either, then it's probably not the best one to start testing out first.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">If your idea requires less time and money but has great learning potential, it should be considered.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Ideas must be sifted through, dismissing 'bad' ones based on reasoning and evidence.</li></ul>

Get to the 'No' quickly and Move On to the Next

The most fundamental thing we're doing is playing the long game and trying to have really high amounts of audacity so we're willing to go on these unlikely journeys but then with equally high levels of humility, knowing right from the beginning that it's probably not going to work and being able to be sanguine about it that we can be proud of going on the journey and then proud of turning off the journey when  it turns out it's not the right journey, instead of resisting that reality or going through a long grieving process when it turns out not to be the right thing to do.

Simon ascertains what Astro says by using the 1969 moon landing as a point of reference.  President Kennedy stated in his speech that the mission to the moon was a service to mankind, with the goal of advancing the human race forward. America had the "audacity" to dream of putting a man on the moon and bringing him back safely. They faced many failed trials over a decade, but eventually with the right technological power, they achieved it.

The Actual Moonshot!

Astro uses the analogy of "moving from the mentality of a gambler to a card counter" to highlight the fact that they are aligned with efficiency standards, unlike the actual moon mission which had national security issues prioritized over efficiency. The approach cannot rely on pure luck or too much luck, rather it needs to align itself with efficiency. This is exactly what distinguishes a gambler from a card counter. It is not always about "Can we do it?" but rather "How efficiently can we do it?"

Shifting from a Gambler Mentality to a Card-Counter Mentality

You keep all the data and details of your previous attempts and runs to help you make an even more informed and efficient effort based on the learning and intellectual momentum you have. This way, you're not starting from scratch. Whether you get it right or learn a lesson, the choice is yours!"They never have the time and money to do it right the first time, but they always have the time and money to do it again."

Moonshot Compost Concept

<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">If you want to train a monkey to stand on top of a pedestal and recite Shakespeare, the priority should be to train the monkey rather than build the pedestal. The reasoning is that the success of the project hinges on the more difficult aspect, and building the pedestal does not address the fundamental challenge.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">In real-world situations, this analogy often translates to prioritizing substantial but less risky tasks that give a sense of progress, such as building a metaphorical pedestal. This approach allows people to appear as if they are making significant progress. </li></ul>

The Monkey and The Pedestal

I hate failure. I don't want to fail. But I'm obsessed with learning and what we can get from learning.

There's a story about when Alexander the Great came across a very complex knot tied in front of a temple with a legend that the person who could untie it would conquer all of Asia. He simply walked up to the knot, pulled out his sword, and sliced through it. This became known as "cutting the Gordian knot." Sometimes, things can't be accomplished in the usual way. He found a completely different way of playing that game.

Cutting the Gordian Knot

1. Embracing failure as it is an essential part of the innovation process2. Create an environment where people feel comfortable taking risks and exploring new ideas3. Focus on the problem you're trying to solve, rather than getting attached to a specific solution4. Value diversity and collaboration in driving innovation5. Learn from failure

Responsibly Irresponsible

A Bit of Optimism is a podcast by Simon Sinek that features conversations with people who inspire him about love, life, leadership, and hope. Here are a few learnings from this particular one with Astro Teller. 

Before Elon Musk rebranded Twitter, X was already in use — at Google. @XTheMoonshotFactory was Google’s secret research lab, where Google’s most imaginative ideas came to life.

As CEO and co-founder, Astro Teller’s job is to harness X’s wildest, most futuristic technology to solve the world’s hardest problems. The same “moonshot factory” that created Google Brain and Waymo self-driving cars is also working on carbon capture, laser-beam Internet, delivery drones, and more.

I sat down with Astro to discuss how we build cultures of radical innovation. He shares some useful wisdom about unlearning what we know and why the counterintuitive approach is the key to landing moonshots.

This…is A Bit of Optimism.

To learn more about Astro and his work, check out:
https://x.company/

⏰ Timestamps
0:00 The creation of Google X
6:11 Moonshots, gambling, and card-counting
17:25 The problem with "measure twice, cut once"
20:44 The monkey and the pedestal
29:24 How quickly can you get to "no"
43:55 Creativity is play, not win or lose
46:20 Alexander and the Gordian Knot

+ + +

Simon is an unshakable optimist. He believes in a bright future and our ability to build it together. 

Described as “a visionary thinker with a rare intellect,” Simon has devoted his professional life to help advance a vision of the world that does not yet exist; a world in which the vast majority of people wake up every single morning inspired, feel safe wherever they are and end the day fulfilled by the work that they do.

Simon is the author of multiple best-selling books including Start With Why, Leaders Eat Last, Together is Better, and The Infinite Game.

+ + +

Website: http://simonsinek.com/
Live Online Classes: https://simonsinek.com/classes/
Podcast: http://apple.co/simonsinek
Instagram: https://instagram.com/simonsinek/
Linkedin: https://linkedin.com/in/simonsinek/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/simonsinek
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/simonsinek

Simon’s books:
The Infinite Game: https://simonsinek.com/books/the-infinite-game/
Start With Why: https://simonsinek.com/books/start-with-why/
Find Your Why: https://simonsinek.com/books/find-your-why/
Leaders Eat Last: https://simonsinek.com/books/leaders-eat-last/
Together is Better: https://simonsinek.com/books/together-is-better/

+ + +

#SimonSinek

Understand yourself and those around you.

Simon Sinek & Trevor Noah on Friendship, Loneliness, Vulnerability, and More | Full Conversation

Landing Moonshots with Google’s Innovation Chief Dr. Astro Teller | A Bit of Optimism Podcast

Cres Aubert