Due to capitalism, technology and ambition we can now pursue the things we want to do, but also get pulled into things we feel we ought to do. However, our physical capacity and time is limited. Choosing what to do, and what not to do consciously would be a much better choice than trying to do everything at once and hating yourself for failing to do it all.

There will always be too much to do, and this realization is liberating. 

When faced with a difficult life choice, asking yourself "Will choosing this let me grow, or curtail me?" instead of "Will choosing this make me happy"? allows us to connect with the dilemma on a deeper, intuitive level. Choosing a path based on personal growth, despite the challenges it may bring, is much more rewarding in the long term run.

When stumped by a life choice, choose enlargement over happiness.

We waste a lot of time in avoiding or postponing our aspirations, because of the unpleasant feelings of discomfort and anxiety. This is more apparent when you try to do something outside of your comfort zone. You can gradually increase your tolerance for discomfort by doing activities, or by being involved in (non life threatening) situations that trigger these feelings. The rewards of accomplishment can gradually overcome the initial emotions of dread and anxiety.

The capacity to tolerate minor discomfort is a super power.

Certain self-improvement and personal practices may only serve as behaviourial enablers. The ones that do work forces us to question our actions and thoughts, and break through these uncomfortable emotional barriers.If a certain practice makes you feel uncomfortable because it challenges your own perceptions or values, it might be worth a try.

The advice you don't want to hear is the advice you need. 

Much of our suffering lies in wanting to control what is not within our control. We also want to know that it will be ok later on. But this is impossible because the future itself is an uncertainty.

The future will never provide the assurance you seek from it.

The era of incompetent leadership and uncertainty has exposed some difficult truths: even the ones at the top don't know what the hell they're doing. And even for the ones that do, it's still easy to fall into self-doubt. Almost everyone has doubts about their own abilities as we are flawed and only human, but only you have unprecedented access to your own mind and thoughts.

The solution to imposter syndrome is to see that you are one. 

Most of us are raised with the view that helping others will enrich us, which is not entirely false. However, this societal expectation, and issues of low self-esteem and guilt often undermine our goals of helping others. There are also other ways to bring warmth into the lives of others. Why not try channeling your energy into your personal passions? We can bring much joy to others through our own talent and enthusiasm.

Selflessness is overrated. 

Sometimes what we treasure and cherish no longer enriches us the way it used to. Letting go and moving on to a new path may be the way forward.

Know when to move on.

After more than a decade of writing life-changing advice, I know when to move on. Here’s what else I learned

Oliver Burkeman's last column: the eight secrets to a (fairly) fulfilled life

Jean P