Oliver Burkeman's last column: the eight secrets to a (fairly) fulfilled life

We waste a lot of time in avoiding or postponing our aspirations, because of the unpleasant feelings of discomfort and anxiety. This is more apparent when you try to do something outside of your comfort zone. 

You can gradually increase your tolerance for discomfort by doing activities, or by being involved in (non life threatening) situations that trigger these feelings. The rewards of accomplishment can gradually overcome the initial emotions of dread and anxiety. 

Certain self-improvement and personal practices may only serve as behaviourial enablers. The ones that do work forces us to question our actions and thoughts, and break through these uncomfortable emotional barriers.

If a certain practice makes you feel uncomfortable because it challenges your own perceptions or values, it might be worth a try. 

Much of our suffering lies in wanting to control what is not within our control. We also want to know that it will be ok later on. But this is impossible because the future itself is an uncertainty. 

The era of incompetent leadership and uncertainty has exposed some difficult truths: even the ones at the top don't know what the hell they're doing.

And even for the ones that do, it's still easy to fall into self-doubt. Almost everyone has doubts about their own abilities as we are flawed and only human, but only you have unprecedented access to your own mind and thoughts.

Most of us are raised with the view that helping others will enrich us, which is not entirely false. However, this societal expectation, and issues of low self-esteem and guilt often undermine our goals of helping others. 

There are also other ways to bring warmth into the lives of others. Why not try channeling your energy into your personal passions? We can bring much joy to others through our own talent and enthusiasm.

Sometimes what we treasure and cherish no longer enriches us the way it used to. Letting go and moving on to a new path may be the way forward.