<ul><li>We all have our idiosyncrasies, little habits, and ways of doing things that bring us comfort and make us unique.</li><li>There is a tendency to replay situations and relationships that negatively impact upon us, a process he called “repetition compulsion.”</li><li>When an emotionally charged situation occurs, the compulsion to repeat in the brain is caused by a persistent conditioned response.</li></ul>

The Inner Compulsion to Repeat Behaviours

<ul><li>Relational patterns of interaction can also be understood in terms of psychological 'games people play'</li><li>Eric Berne (1961) describes a 'game' as series of transactions in which individuals either disparage themselves or others in their social interactions</li><li>'Ego states' describe the way a person experiences and manifests their personality through a mixture of behaviors, thoughts, and feelings.</li><li>So long as transactions are complementary, Adult-Adult, then communication can continue indefinitely.</li><li>Transactions tend to go awry when communication is not complementary, Parent-Child.</li></ul>

The Unconscious 'Games' We Play

Human beings are inherently social creatures that interact with each other 
via multiple modalities.

Understand yourself and those around you.

psychology

Psychology

loveandrelationships

Love & Relationships

What Are Behavioural Repetitive Patterns?   — Fresh Perception

<ul><li>People are often drawn to reality TV because they enjoy the drama and relate to difficult decision-making.</li><li>The theme of self-interest vs. self-sacrifice runs through many reality shows.</li><li>Reality shows often lead people to reflect on what they might do in a similar situation, which can be a good exercise in values exploration.</li></ul>

Key Takeaways

Millions of people around the world tune in to reality shows and have been watching for decades. What started out as an experiment has turned into mainstream programming and as a culture, we can’t get enough of it.Is there any personal or societal cost to our ongoing fascination with reality shows? While opinions certainly differ on the topic, it comes down to a few factors:<ul><li>The malleability of your values</li><li>Your commitment to behaving in ways that reflect your values</li></ul>

The Effect Of Reality Shows

Television and all other forms of media have an impact on our thoughts, opinions, and behaviours. There is no doubt that what we take in for entertainment and information influences the way we think about the world around us. Our minds are designed to synthesize boatloads of information every day, from our interactions with others to the books we read and the entertainment we seek out. We make sense of the world through these pieces of information we gather, and this impacts how we live our lives every day.

The Impact On Culture

Beyond the daily information we absorb, we are also influenced by our prior life experiences, our family of origin, <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/basics/environment">the environment</a> we are raised in and a slew of other cultural and genetic factors. These interpersonal and direct influences are more likely to impact our values and behaviours than reality shows. Does this mean that we should be unconcerned about the ways in which reality show trends impact us? No, we definitely need to pay <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/basics/attention">attention</a> to the underlying messages in these shows and explore why they appeal to us so much.

Fake Reality, Real Consequences

Reality shows keep us coming back, week after week. We want to know who said what to whom, which person betrayed another or who compromised their alliances or made a shady decision that influenced other people. It’s all about the best and worst of human behaviour; it is an observational psychology class without lectures or exams.Often reality shows cause us to reflect on what we might do in a similar situation, which can be a good exercise in values exploration. The basic question of self-interest versus self-sacrifice is a theme that runs through most reality shows.

The Pull Factor

As we indulge in our favourite reality shows, we can ask ourselves:<ul><li>What do I enjoy about this show and what emotions does it elicit?</li><li>What appeals to me about these characters and their role in the show?</li><li>Would I make different choices than these characters? If so, why?</li></ul>Reality shows are ironically named because they are often far from realistic scenarios. Even though these programs are guilty pleasures for so many, we can use them as good conversation starters with friends and as food for thought within our own minds as we consider our values and how to live in ways that demonstrate those values.

Reconsidering Giving Our Time To Fake Reality

What are the negative and positive effects of reality TV?

artsandculture

Society, Arts & Culture

How Reality Shows Affect Our Lives and Society

Those who have spent a long time applying without much success often become their own biggest obstacle. While each job application and interview offers a fresh opportunity, we often can’t help but carry with us feelings of rejection from previous experiences. The less confident you feel, the more self-doubt kicks in, the more challenging it becomes to put your best foot forward.
It’s important not to take rejection personally, as there are many reasons why a candidate might be overlooked.

Manage Your Mindset

Those who are feeling discouraged from a lengthy job search can help themselves by making a list of accomplishments, what can be called a “brag list.”The process of putting the list together will not only help candidates feel more confident but also help them recall accomplishments that they can include in applications or job interviews in the future. As you step into your next interview, especially if you feel discouraged or less confident from past results, whip out this list and just remind yourself why you deserve to be in that seat.

Make A Brag List

Those who have been out of the workforce for a prolonged period may feel tempted to respond to a large number of postings in hopes that they get a response. But this tactic, which is like throwing spaghetti against the wall to see what sticks, can ultimately serve to further discourage applicants who are struggling to find work. That is because they either don’t hear back, or they do hear back but the opportunity isn’t a good fit.

Don't Randomly Apply In Bulk

Job seeking can be an isolating experience, especially for those who have been at it for a while, and that sense of loneliness can make it even harder to find success.If people know what you’re looking for, or what you’re interested in or what you’re trying to figure out, there’s a greater chance that they might know of somebody or see something that can help you.

Don't Do It Alone

Job seekers who struggle to land a position often feel helplessly stuck in neutral, but there’s a lot they can do to drive their job search forward. Rather than focusing on the ultimate goal of landing a job, it’s important to establish a series of smaller and more manageable goals along the way.Job seekers should also reward themselves for taking these small steps and celebrate the little accomplishments that will help them reach the bigger goal.

Small Steps

Much of the job application process is out of the candidate’s control, but those who are really struggling to land their dream job are encouraged to take a hard look at their strategy and consider what mistakes they might be repeating.It can be how they talk about the old boss/company, something in the résumé or the interview style. They can:<ul><li>Reevaluate their résumé and application materials.</li><li>Ask for assistance from friends and family. Trying a few practice interviews with those who can provide honest feedback.</li><li> Do not talk negatively about a prior employer. </li></ul>

Reevaluate Your Strategy

There really are only a small group of people who can say for sure why you weren’t selected for a given job, and those are the evaluators themselves, which makes their feedback incredibly valuable.One can gently try asking: I had a wonderful time meeting you; sorry it didn’t work out. If I can ask, what would be one bit of advice you would give someone like me if they really wanted to get a job like the one I interviewed for?

Seek Honest Feedback From Interviewer After Rejection

Repeated rejection is discouraging, but it’s a natural part of job seeking. Here’s how to stay motivated until you find your next gig.


career

Career

personaldevelopment

Personal Development

motivationandinspiration

Motivation & Inspiration

7 ways to stay motivated in the face of rejection on the job hunt

Christian Hernandez Gallardo is a Salvadoran-born London-based angel investor. Up until last year, he was the Managing Partner and co-founder of VC firm <a href="https://medium.com/u/62d3ac6d3c8d?source=post_page-----2f34f9302178--------------------------------" target="_self">White Star Capital</a>, investing across North America and Western Europe. He previously led Facebook’s expansion into Europe, the Middle East and Africa, and prior to that, Christian was part of the early mobile efforts at Google and Microsoft.

The Next Few Years Will Lead to Great Innovation

7:30 Wake up (no commute so sleep in a bit longer) 8:00 Bring wife coffee, make kids breakfast 8:45 check that technical platforms for all the kids are working (they crashed earlier in the week) 9:00 PE with <a href="https://twitter.com/thebodycoach?lang=en" target="_self">Joe Wicks</a> with my youngest… 9:45–1pm: <a href="https://medium.com/u/c4c2efc9bc0a?source=post_page-----2f34f9302178--------------------------------" target="_self">Zoom</a>, zoom, zoom 1–2pm: Lunch with family, help kids out with some of their work 2–5pm: Work/zoom 5pm: take the dog for a walk, listen to a podcast 6pm: check-in with friends around the world, or talk to someone working on initiatives around Covid &gt;6pm: dinner, TV time with kids

What does a “typical” day look like for you now?

The distinction between work and home is, of course, now massively blurred. Your video call gets interrupted by your who needs help with her homeschooling. Attention is blurred by a sequence of scheduled calls/videos and the unscheduled. Measuring “progress” at work also gets blurred. Things are moving at one of two speeds: much slower and kind of like in slow motion as organizations assess where things are going… and really, really fast as companies are in survival mode.

How has Coronavirus impacted your life/work?

<ul><li>WhatsApp groups as slack channels (with friends across the world, extended family, colleagues).</li><li>Upgrading broadband to fibre a few weeks ago (otherwise not sure five concurrent streams would work for us all).</li><li>Bought a trampoline when we realised we might be at home with kids for an extended period… lifesaver.</li></ul>

What productivity tips have you found useful whilst working from home?

<ul><li>The Uninhabitable Earth: life after warming by David Wallace-Wells. To get us thinking about the* Other* Global issue we should tackle when we emerge from this climate crisis.</li><li>Edison by Edmund Morris — a biography of Thomas Edison&nbsp;</li><li>Coffeeland: A History by Augustine Sedgewick&nbsp;</li><li>The Age of Living Machines by Susan Hockfield, former MIT President&nbsp;</li><li>Reboot: Leadership and the Art of Growing Up by Jerry Colonna&nbsp;&nbsp;</li></ul>

What five books would you recommend during self isolation?

As an entrepreneur, fundraising has already changed but that might not be a bad thing. Investors are resetting to this new normal but all those I have spoken to agree that the next few years are likely to lead to great innovation.

When this is all over, what will the opportunities look like?

Investor Christian Hernandez on life after lockdown including his top productivity hacks and book recommendations.

In this interview, ex Facebook Google and Microsoft - now investor Christian Hernandez gives a glimpse into a day in his life during Coronavirus lockdown.

technologyandthefuture

Technology & The Future

entrepreneurship

Entrepreneurship

startup

Startups

The Next Few Years WilLead to Great Innovation

Getting up and drawing a Venn diagram is a great way to appear smart. It doesn’t matter if your Venn diagram is wildly inaccurate, in fact, the more inaccurate the better. Even before you’ve put that marker down, your colleagues will begin fighting about what exactly the labels should be and how big the circles should be, etc. At this point, you can slink back to your chair and go back to playing Candy Crush on your phone.

Draw a Venn diagram

If someone says “About 25% of all users click on this button,” quickly chime in with, “So about 1 in 4,” and make a note of it. Everyone will nod their head in agreement, secretly impressed and envious of your quick math skills.

Translate percentage metrics into fractions

There comes a point in most meetings where everyone is chiming in, except you. Opinions and data and milestones are being thrown around and you don’t know your CTA from your OTA. This is a great point to go, “Guys, guys, guys, can we take a step back here?” Everyone will turn their heads toward you, amazed at your ability to silence the fray. Follow it up with a quick, “What problem are we really trying to solve?” and, boom! You’ve bought yourself another hour of looking smart.

Encourage everyone to “take a step back”

Always bring a notepad with you. Your rejection of technology will be revered. Take notes by simply writing down one word from every sentence that you hear. Nod continuously while doing so. If someone asks you if you’re taking notes, quickly say that these are your own personal notes and that someone else should really be keeping a record of the meeting. Bravo compadre. You’ve saved your ass, and you’ve gotten out of doing any extra work. Or any work at all, if you’re truly succeeding.

Nod continuously while pretending to take notes

Make a mental note of the engineer in the room. Remember his name. He’ll be quiet throughout most of the meeting, but when his moment comes everything out of his mouth will spring from a place of unknowable brilliance. After he utters these divine words, chime in with, “Let me just repeat that,” and repeat exactly what he just said, but very, very slowly. Now, his brilliance has been transferred to you. People will look back on the meeting and mistakenly attribute the intelligent statement to you.

Repeat the last thing the engineer said, but very very slowly

It’s important to find out if things will scale no matter what it is you’re discussing. No one even really knows what that means, but it’s a good catch-all question that generally applies and drives engineers nuts.

Ask “Will this scale?” no matter what it is

Whenever someone gets up from the table and walks around, don’t you immediately respect them? I know I do. It takes a lot of guts but once you do it, you immediately appear smart. Fold your arms. Walk around. Go to the corner and lean against the wall. Take a deep, contemplative sigh. Trust me, everyone will be shitting their pants wondering what you’re thinking. If only they knew (bacon).

Pace around the room

“Sorry, could you go back a slide?” They’re the seven words no presenter wants to hear. It doesn’t matter where in the presentation you shout this out, it’ll immediately make you look like you’re paying closer attention than everyone else is because clearly, they missed the thing that you’re about to brilliantly point out. Don’t have anything to point out? Just say something like, “I’m not sure what these numbers mean,” and sit back. You’ve bought yourself almost an entire meeting of appearing smart.

Ask the presenter to go back a slide

You’re probably afraid to step out of the room because you fear people will think you aren’t making the meeting a priority. Interestingly, however, if you step out of a meeting for an “important” phone call, they’ll all realize just how busy and important you are. They’ll say, “Wow, this meeting is important, so if he has something even more important than this, well, we better not bother him.”

Step out for a phone call

If someone asks what you think, and you honestly didn’t hear a single word anyone said for the last hour, just say, “I honestly didn’t hear a single word anyone said for the last hour.” People love self-deprecating humor. Say things like, “Maybe we can just use the lawyers from my divorce,” or “God I wish I was dead.” They’ll laugh, value your honesty, consider contacting H.R., but most importantly, think you’re the smartest looking person in the room.

Make fun of yourself

Like everyone, appearing smart during meetings is my top priority. Sometimes this can be difficult if you start daydreaming about your next vacation, your next nap, or bacon. When this happens, it’s…

product

Product & Design

10 Tricks to Appear Smart During Meetings

The discipline of Product Management is built around two core principles:<ol><li>Define a clear, value-based product strategy</li><li>Create and manage a healthy roadmap</li></ol> These two ideas are inseparable. Product strategies should be value-based and roadmaps goal-based. The product values should translate to the user, therefore it should be the core of your roadmap.

Foundational Principles

A roadmap is a melting pot of ideas where teams experiment to find worthwhile ideas.Your roadmap should achieve these key ideas:<ul><li>Communicate your progress towards achieving the product strategy</li><li>Document the ideas which intend to bring the product strategy to life</li><li>Align stakeholders on what you are currently working on</li></ul>Roadmaps often become the enemy of the product, the user and the business because it is confused with backlogs.Backlogs are purely output-focussed. They are concrete plans of what needs doing. It includes actionable tasks assigned to specific people.

Differentiating between a roadmap and a backlog

Product discovery is the process of moving from the problem to the solution. The team responsible for product discovery deals with the problem and the solution spaces in their pursuit of defining solutions. Once they define a solution, the delivery team takes the solutions to the backlog, adding the details to execute them.The roadmap describes how the ideas are progressing through the discovery process. The roadmap is a snapshot of the process. At any given time, it should describe:<ul><li>Ideas currently investigated</li><li>High-level solutions which are validated</li></ul>

The product discovery process

The complete discovery process happens in the context of a value-based product strategy. There are four steps to producing solution ideas:<ul><li>Problem framing - understanding the problems you're trying to solve and the requirements of the solutions.</li><li>Roadmap planning - prioritising the problems and planning iterations for each.</li><li>Ideation and prototyping - generating ideas and bringing them to life with prototypes</li><li>Solution testing - validating solution ideas against the original problem.</li></ul>Once you have possible solutions, they must pass a validation criteria.

Key steps to producing solution ideas

<ol><li>Before you start with ideas, structure your roadmap correctly.</li><li>Ask if the ideas are worthwhile. A problem describes the gap between where we are now and where we want to be. The items on the roadmap should get us to where we want to be (the product vision).</li><li>Plan your roadmap. Figure out which ideas should be tackled first.</li><li>Ideate, prototype and test solutions.</li></ol>

How to set up a roadmap

The primary task of the roadmap is communicating the discovery process, as it can be difficult to bridge the gap between the abstract product strategy and the tangible backlog.The roadmap needs to represent:<ul><li>abstract product values (organised into themes)</li><li>tangible and specific ideas, which will become the product goals.</li></ul>Good values lead to good goals, which leads to a good product.

The roadmap structure

Ideas on the roadmap should be phrased in terms of problems and opportunities. But how the problems are framed is important. Problems should be framed in their purest form to empower the discovery team to find the best solution possible.&nbsp; Problems should be phrased from the point of view of at least one of three product development disciplines: The user, the business, or technology.

Consider if the ideas are worthwhile

You now have clearly articulated goals but may not know which ideas to tackle first.&nbsp; Two main factors can help prioritise goals:&nbsp;Expected value - the combined measure of expected user value and expected business value, and Complexity. <ul><li>Goals should be mapped on an expected user value scale.</li><li>Then add another axis for the expected business value. This should give you a picture of how valuable the goals are.</li><li>Rank the goals by overall value.</li><li>Lastly, contrast the value with feasibility. High value, high feasibility will give quick, short-term wins.</li></ul>&nbsp;

Plan your roadmap

These steps are BYOT (bring your own tools.) General principles to help with the right tools:<ul><li>Ideations: Ensure all of the relevant disciplines are present and that the problems are well framed.</li><li>Prototype: show the idea without the frills to get to the root of the proposed solution.</li><li>Test: use realistic tests.</li></ul> During the documentation of the proposed solution, capture these three things as a minimum:<ul><li>Requirements at the epic level.</li><li>UX: visuals of how this solution will manifest.</li><li>Technical specification: The endpoints, integrations and components.</li></ul>

Ideate, prototype and test solution

The roadmap and the product strategy are inseparable. In my previous article, I argued that product strategies should be value-based and that roadmaps are the goal-based descriptions of how you…

How To Build a Healthy Product Roadmap: Foundational Principles

It’s estimated that by the end of 2021, 42% of the American workforce will be freelancing.
It takes more than a stable internet connection to make a living as a freelancer. In order to make the big bucks, you’ve got to put in your time and know your stuff when it comes to selling your services.

Is freelancing right for you?

<ul>
<li>Make sure you want to work for yourself. You have no one to rely on but yourself.</li>
<li>Network with other people in your industry and come up with ways you can help each other out.</li>
<li>Get over your fear of rejection.</li>
<li>Learn to write effective cold emails. Cold emailing is exactly what it sounds like—contacting people you don’t know without any introduction. </li>
<li>Collaborate with other agencies or freelancers</li>
<li>Join popular marketplaces. There are many freelance platforms where you can win projects and make a lot of money.</li>
</ul>

How to start freelancing

Freelancing can be an incredibly rewarding way to make money online. But it can also be quite difficult if you don't approach it in the right way.  It takes more than a stable internet connection to make a living as a freelancer. In order to make the big bucks, you’

What Are Behavioural Repetitive Patterns? — Fresh Perception

How Reality Shows Affect Our Lives and Society

7 ways to stay motivated in the face of rejection on the job hunt

The Next Few Years WilLead to Great Innovation

10 Tricks to Appear Smart During Meetings

Harold Garcia