Well, you would be amazed to know that the author and relationship psychologist John Gottman can predict if a relationship would last with an accuracy rate of 94%.

Can you predict if a relationship will last?

His predictions aren't based of the couple's sexuality, income, background, etc. rather he derives it from how the partners act and react. This includes things like tone of voice, body language, behavior, etc. factors which also includes physilogical factors such as heart rate.

How does he do that?

Firstly, couples in fight or flight mode -- racing heartbeat, adrenaline rush, high blood pressure, etc. are more likely to split up. These people are always in a mode to either attack or be attacked.

Here are some signs that he has observed

Gottman also uses verbal observations to predict whether the couple "criticize or complain".Both of these sound argumentative but the main difference being the intention. While criticizing, the person's main aim is to make the other person feel inferior or bad whereas a complaint can be made politely, urging the other person to take the complaint sportingly and work for it.

Verbal cues

It may sound simple but a key component in building a relationship is attention.In a relationship, partners often share their personal feelings or mundane comments over silly things. They do it to start a conversation or to get attention. These comments or stories are called "bids" for attention. And how we react to these bids decides the future of a relationship

What to do to prevent breakups?

In 1990, Gottman started a research in which he studied how 130 couples reacted to each others' bids.After six years, he compared the couples who were still together versus the couples that got divorced.It turned out that the couples who were together reacted to each other's bids on an average of 86% of the times, on the other hand the divorced couple just responded for 33% of the times.

Gottman started a research

Gottman writes down a time when her wife was grumbling. Taking that as a bid, he reacted to that bid and asked her what happened. She replied that she was tired folding the laundry clothes. As a reaction to this, he helped her by folding some clothes for her. This tells her how important she is to Gottman and how important her miseries are to him.He then played jazz music which reminded them of an old date in a jazz club. They then went for dinner together. And this is how accepting a small bid and reacting to it can create romantic moments for a couple and create an emotional bank for couples

Why are bids so important in a healthy romantic relationship?

Just as Masters and Johnson were pioneers in the study of human sexuality, so Dr. John Gottman has revolutionized the study of marriage. As a professor of psychology at the University of Washington and the founder and director of the Seattle Marital and Family Institute, he has studied the habits of married couples in unprecedented detail over the course of many years. His findings, and his heavily attended workshops, have already turned around thousands of faltering marriages. This book is the culmination of his life's work: the seven principles that guide couples on the path toward a harmonious and long-lasting relationship. Straightforward in their approach, yet profound in their effect, these principles teach partners new and startling strategies for making their marriage work. Gottman helps couples focus on each other, on paying attention to the small day-to-day moments that, strung together, make up the heart and soul of any relationship. Being thoughtful about ordinary matters provides spouses with a solid foundation for resolving conflict when it does occur and finding strategies for living with those issues that cannot be resolved. Packed with questionnaires and exercises whose effectiveness has been proven in Dr. Gottman's workshops, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is the definitive guide for anyone who wants their relationship to attain its highest potential. The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is the result of Dr. John Gottman's many years of closely observing thousands of marriages. This kind of longitudinal research has never been done before. Based on his findings, he has culled seven principles essential to the success of any marriage. Maintain a love map. Foster fondness and admiration. Turn toward instead of away. Accept influence. Solve solvable conflicts. Cope with conflicts you can't resolve. Create shared meaning. Dr. Gottman's unique questionnaires and exercises will guide couples on the road to revitalizing their marriage, or making a strong one even better.

loveandrelationships

Love & Relationships

books

Books

Just as Masters and Johnson were pioneers in the study of human sexuality, so Dr. John Gottman has revolutionized the study of marriage. As a professor of psychology at the University of Washington and the founder and director of the Seattle Marital and Family Institute, he has studied the habits of married couples in unprecedented detail over the course of many years. His findings, and his heavily attended workshops, have already turned around thousands of faltering marriages.          This book is the culmination of his life's work: the seven principles that guide couples on the path toward a harmonious and long-lasting relationship. Straightforward in their approach, yet profound in their effect, these principles teach partners new and startling strategies for making their marriage work. Gottman helps couples focus on each other, on paying attention to the small day-to-day moments that, strung together, make up the heart and soul of any relationship. Being thoughtful about ordinary matters provides spouses with a solid foundation for resolving conflict when it does occur and finding strategies for living with those issues that cannot be resolved.          Packed with questionnaires and exercises whose effectiveness has been proven in Dr. Gottman's workshops, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is the definitive guide for anyone who wants their relationship to attain its highest potential. The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is the result of Dr. John Gottman's many years of closely observing thousands of marriages. This kind of longitudinal research has never been done before. Based on his findings, he has culled seven principles essential to the success of any marriage. Maintain a love map. Foster fondness and admiration. Turn toward instead of away. Accept influence. Solve solvable conflicts. Cope with conflicts you can't resolve. Create shared meaning. Dr. Gottman's unique questionnaires and exercises will guide couples on the road to revitalizing their marriage, or making a strong one even better.

John Gottman, Ph.D.

The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work

In today's world, everyone knows what a startup is, but what they don't know is that a startup is different from a traditional business. Unlike established businesses, startups have many uncertainties in their path to success.Many people think that startup is all about developing a bridge between the problems faced by the consumers and the solution to them, but this is not true. A successful startup should have a solution to a problem statement as well as a system in their company.

Startups VS traditional businesses

Build- You build a productMeasure- You test the product in the marketLearn- You gain validated learning from your target audience regarding your product fit in the market.And after gaining insight through your validated learning, one has to work on the downsides of the product and then measure the product again on the respective market and learn. The cycle continues until the company has shaped the product as good as perfect.

The build-measure-learn loop

MVP stands for minimum viable product. To test your product in the market for the very first time you need to build a basic prototype of your product incorporated with needful and USP features.One has to make an MVP first and continuously innovate through early feedback to make a final product that can be released into the market as a flagship product.

Build an MVP for testing the market

The engines of growth are used to grow your startup using one or more of the three growth engines to retain customers in the long run.The three growth engines are:<ol><li>Sticky</li><li>Viral</li><li>Paid</li></ol>If you get a lot of customers but a large chunk of them churn, then the engine is not working and you need to switch it.

Growth engines

This makes the customers stick to the product and the customers generally don't leave until dissatisfied.WiFi providers use this engine to retain customers.

Sticky growth engine

This engine focuses on "person-to-person" transmission as a consequence of normal product use. In this engine, the customers do not have to consciously spread the word for the product, instead in their normal use, they unknowingly market the product.Hotmail used this engine of growth.

Viral growth engine

This engine considers spending tonnes of money on acquiring customers for the long term. This engine makes the customer habituated to the product and once they have developed a taste of the product, they cannot go back. The cost involved in acquiring a customer is also known as CAC (Customer Acquisition Cost).In this engine of growth, the companies spend millions of dollars giving freebies to new customers to habituate them to the product.

Paid growth engine

Companies like Swiggy, Zomato, and Ola in India used paid growth engine to make customers for themselves. In the initial cash drain phase, they gave freebies and in the control phase, they stopped giving discounts and used their data to attract them again to the product. They took charge of the customers as it became impossible for them to turn back.

One major deciding factor for a successful startup is pivoting at the right time. Startups use the build-measure-learn loop to walk toward their goal. But if they keep continuing and every time the market turned down the product, then the startup should try to pivot and take a new path with the MVP.

Pivot or persevere?

A startup's success path is full of uncertainty and their is no defined pipeline to make a startup successful. But there are some strategies used by many companies to help them grow their company. This book brings those strategies to you.

Outlines a revisionist approach to management while arguing against common perceptions about the inevitability of startup failures, explaining the importance of providing genuinely needed products and services as well as organizing a business that can adapt to continuous customer feedback.

business

Business

startup

Startups

Most startups fail. But many of those failures are preventable. The Lean Startup is a new approach being adopted across the globe, changing the way companies are built and new products are launched. Eric Ries defines a startup as an organization dedicated to creating something new under conditions of extreme uncertainty. This is just as true for one person in a garage or a group of seasoned professionals in a Fortune 500 boardroom. What they have in common is a mission to penetrate that fog of uncertainty to discover a successful path to a sustainable business. The Lean Startup approach fosters companies that are both more capital efficient and that leverage human creativity more effectively. Inspired by lessons from lean manufacturing, it relies on “validated learning,” rapid scientific experimentation, as well as a number of counter-intuitive practices that shorten product development cycles, measure actual progress without resorting to vanity metrics, and learn what customers really want. It enables a company to shift directions with agility, altering plans inch by inch, minute by minute. Rather than wasting time creating elaborate business plans, The Lean Startup offers entrepreneurs—in companies of all sizes—a way to test their vision continuously, to adapt and adjust before it’s too late. Ries provides a scientific approach to creating and managing successful startups in a age when companies need to innovate more than ever.

Eric Ries is an American entrepreneur, blogger, and author of The Lean Startup, a book on the lean startup movement. He is also the author of The Startup Way, a book on modern entrepreneurial management.

Eric Ries

The Lean Startup

Sometimes people like to believe in their beliefs however absurd it sounds and however contradictory the facts and evidence are to their beliefs. And these absurd beliefs range from the U.S. presidency to coronavirus, from mars colonization to time travel, and many more.

Why do we cling to belief?

Let's take a look at the work of social psychologist Leon Festinger.In the 1950s, Festinger joined a cult known as the "Seekers"

What motivates such stubborn beliefs

Seekers were a group of people in the 1950s who were believed to have been warned by the aliens that a massive flood would swap the western seaboard of the U.S. on December 21, 1954. They published this prophecy in the local newspaper. And Festinger wanted to inspect what this cult actually was, but more than that, Festinger wanted to know what happens when the day arrives and this prophecy comes to a final end(whether it goes true or fails).

Who are these "Seekers"?

The prophecy turned out to be a huge failure. Nothing happened to the western coast that day. To this, the members of the cult should have abandoned the cult, right?

The decisive day: December 21, 1954

This question arises for sure.This is because when their beliefs were put to an extreme end, the Seekers went through a mental phase called Cognitive Dissonance. This put them in a grave situation and to reduce this discomfort, they could respond in one of two ways: whether they have to accept the change or try to defend it even after witnessing all the evidence.To defend this belief, they broadcasted that the faith of the world grew too strong that god saved them from the apocalypse.

But Why?

There are two reasons:1) we cling to beliefs that resonate with our sense of "self".2) we cling to beliefs that resonate with our social groups.One of the reasons was the cult member's personality resonated with the personality of the Seekers. And the second reason being the group of Seekers altogether had this unbreakable belief in their idea.

What factors lead us to cling to our beliefs

It is easy when our trust is broken. We see the truth from a bird-view, but when our idea resonates with the group, it becomes much harder to break the chain of beliefs and see the reality. This is because our group gives us a sense of belonging. This idea is taken from the book 'The power of Us' written by Jay Van Bavel and Dominic Packer.

A sense of belonging

These ideas provide us with a lot of information about human psychology.

A “fascinating” (Charles Duhigg) and “must-read” (Annie Duke) “page-turning package” (Publishers Weekly starred review) for understanding identity and showing how our groups have a powerful influence on our feelings, beliefs, and behavior—and can inspire both personal change and social movements. If you're like most people, you probably believe that your identity is stable. But in fact, your identity is constantly changing—often outside your conscious awareness and sometimes even against your wishes—to reflect the interests of the groups you belong to. In The Power of Us, psychologists Dominic Packer and Jay Van Bavel integrate their own cutting-edge research in psychology and neuroscience to explain how identity really works and how to harness its dynamic nature to: Boost cooperation and productivity Overcome bias Escape from echo chambers Break political gridlock Foster dissent and mobilize for change Lead effectively Galvanize action to address persistent global problems Along the way, they explore such seemingly unrelated phenomena as why a small town in Germany spent decades divided by shoes, why beliefs persist after they are disproven, how working together synchronizes our brains, what makes selfish people generous, why effective leaders say “we” a lot, and how playing soccer can reduce age-old conflicts. Understanding how identity works allows people to take control, moving beyond wondering, “Who am I?” to answer instead, “Who do I want to be?” Packed with fascinating insights, vivid case studies, and a wealth of pioneering research, The Power of Us will change the way you understand yourself—and the people around you—forever.

Understand yourself and those around you.

psychology

Psychology

A “fascinating” (Charles Duhigg) and “must-read” (Annie Duke) “page-turning package” (Publishers Weekly starred review) for understanding identity and showing how our groups have a powerful influence on our feelings, beliefs, and behavior—and can inspire both personal change and social movements.   If you're like most people, you probably believe that your identity is stable. But in fact, your identity is constantly changing—often outside your conscious awareness and sometimes even against your wishes—to reflect the interests of the groups you belong to.   In The Power of Us, psychologists Dominic Packer and Jay Van Bavel integrate their own cutting-edge research in psychology and neuroscience to explain how identity really works and how to harness its dynamic nature to:<ul><li>Boost cooperation and productivity</li><li>Overcome bias</li><li>Escape from echo chambers</li><li>Break political gridlock</li><li>Foster dissent and mobilize for change</li><li>Lead effectively</li><li>Galvanize action to address persistent global problems</li></ul>  Along the way, they explore such seemingly unrelated phenomena as why a small town in Germany spent decades divided by shoes, why beliefs persist after they are disproven, how working together synchronizes our brains, what makes selfish people generous, why effective leaders say “we” a lot, and how playing soccer can reduce age-old conflicts.    Understanding how identity works allows people to take control, moving beyond wondering, “Who am I?” to answer instead, “Who do I want to be?”  Packed with fascinating insights, vivid case studies, and a wealth of pioneering research, The Power of Us will change the way you understand yourself—and the people around you—forever.

The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work

The Lean Startup

The Power of Us

Het Tikawala