Holden O. (@holdenioo) - Profile Photo

Holden O.

@holdenioo

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How we talk to each other determines a big part of how we live.

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The pandemic has forced people to stay away from each other, cramped in their rooms, with no get-togethers or nights out. This is giving rise to loneliness, and also in the inability in making new friends.

Before the pandemic, people used to join Yoga classes, jogging clubs or do volunteer work to meet new people. Now they use Tinder for the same, but even meeting new people does not solve their core problem of loneliness.

Holden O. (@holdenioo) - Profile Photo

@holdenioo

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The secret to making friends abroad

Making friends abroad is hard. Besides language, you're also a cultural outsider. If you're shy, the feeling of not belonging can make it especially difficult to build friendships.

The secret to making friends is contained in the approach. Instead of trying an upfront coffee date or 'let's get to know each other', try meeting people through a shared interest or history where you already have things in common.

Communicate And Listen Well
  • Give detailed records of what all happens to you, communicating everything to your partner. Make it comprehensive and thorough.
  • Active listening is another overlooked aspect of communication, which we assume is only about blabbering. Listening gives us clues to what we should be doing, but we are too full of our own thoughts to give an ear to our partner.
  • Long-distance communication happens mostly on the phone, email, video calls, or text messaging. All the more reason to listen well as there is less body language and facial expressions involved.
Passive-Aggressive Behaviour

Passive-Aggressive behaviour is a hidden, manipulative form of anger, generally used to avoid direct communication. The passive-aggressive person tries to leverage their behaviour using tactics like inaction, avoidance, withdrawal, or silence, to manipulate the other person.

This behaviour arises mostly due to the way an individual has been brought up. Many families do not have core values and discourage emotional expression or communication.

The Practice of Reinterpreting

A study was performed on 120 women in order to gauge their emotional distress and how it is relieved through the help of reinterpretation. These women were shown images that were invoking negative emotions such as anger, poverty, and sadness.

The study found that although reinterpreting the images alleviated their distress, it helped even more when the reinterpretation came from their friend. Thus suggesting that emotional regulation is more effective when other people actively help us with it.

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