Self-improvement and success often occur together. But that doesn’t necessarily mean they’re the same thing.

A confident man doesn’t feel a need to prove that he’s confident.

It’s what the philosopher Alan Watts used to refer to as “the backwards law”. The idea that the more you pursue feeling better all the time, the less satisfied you become, as pursuing something only reinforces the fact that you lack it in the first place.

Not giving a f*ck does not mean being indifferent; it means being comfortable with being different.

To not give a f*ck about adversity, you must first give a f*ck about something more important than adversity.

Whether you realize it or not, you are always choosing what to give a f*ck about.

When we’re young, everything is new and exciting, and everything seems to matter so much. Therefore, we give tons of f*cks. We give a fuck about everything and everyone.

Essentially, we become more selective about the f*cks we’re willing to give. This is something called maturity. Maturity is what happens when one learns to only give a f*ck about what’s truly f*ckworthy.

Happiness is not a solvable equation. Dissatisfaction and unease are inherent parts of human nature and, as we’ll see, necessary components to creating consistent happiness.

And this pain, as much as we hate it, is useful. Pain is what teaches us what to pay attention to when we're young or careless. It helps show us what's good for us versus what's bad for us. It helps us understand and adhere to our own limitations. Therefore, it's not always beneficial to avoid pain and seek pleasure, since pain can, at times, be life-or-death important to our well-being.

Problems never stop; they merely get exchanged and/or upgraded.

Happiness comes from solving problems. The keyword here is "solving". The secret sauce is in the solving of the problems, not in not having problems in the first place.

Happiness is therefore a form of action; it's an activity.

Whatever your problems are, the concept is the same: solve problems, be happy. Unfortunately, for many people, life doesn't feel that simple. That's because they f*ck things up in at least one of two ways: denial & victim mentality.

People deny and blame others for their problems for the simple reason that it's easy and feels good, while solving problems is hard and often feels bad.

Forms of blame and denial give us a quick high. They are a way to temporarily escape our problems, and that escape can provide us a quick rush that makes us feel better.

Emotions are part of the equation of our lives, but not the entire equation. Just because something feels bad doesn't mean it is bad. Emotions are merely signposts, suggestions that our neurobiology gives us, not commandments. Therefore, we shouldn't always trust our own emotions. In fact, I believe we should make a habit of questioning them.

If I ask you, "What do you want out of life?" Your response is so common and expected that it doesn't really mean anything.A more interesting question, a question that most people never consider, is, "What pain do you want in your life? What are you willing to struggle for?" Because that seems to be a greater determinant of how our lives turn out.

People who base their self-worth on being right about everything prevent themselves from learning from their mistakes. They lack the ability to take on new perspectives and empathize with others.

To not give a f*ck about anything is still to give a f*ck about something.

We shouldn't seek to find the ultimate "right" answer for ourselves, but rather, we should seek to chip away at the ways that we're wrong today so that we can be a little less tomorrow.

There is no correct dogma or perfect ideology. There is only what your experience has shown you to be right for you. And even then, that experience is probably somewhat wrong too.

That answer will change and evolve, because I change and evolve; and as I grow older and more experienced, I chip away at how wrong I am, becoming less and less wrong every day.

Many people become so obsessed with being "right" about their life that they never end up actually living it.

Certainty is the enemy of growth. Nothing is for certain until it has already happened. And even then, it's still debatable. That's why accepting the inevitable imperfections of our values is necessary for any growth to take place.

Instead of striving for certainty, we should be in constant search of doubt.

The human mind is a jumble of inaccuracy. And while this may make you uncomfortable, it's an incredibly important concept to accept, as we'll see.

Questioning ourselves and doubting our own thoughts and beliefs is one of the hardest skills to develop. But it can be done.

#1 New York Times BestsellerOver 10 million copies soldIn this generation-defining self-help guide, a superstar blogger cuts through the crap to show us how to stop trying to be "positive" all the time so that we can truly become better, happier people.For decades, we’ve been told that positive thinking is the key to a happy, rich life. "F**k positivity," Mark Manson says. "Let’s be honest, shit is f**ked and we have to live with it." In his wildly popular Internet blog, Manson doesn’t sugarcoat or equivocate. He tells it like it is—a dose of raw, refreshing, honest truth that is sorely lacking today. The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k is his antidote to the coddling, let’s-all-feel-good mindset that has infected American society and spoiled a generation, rewarding them with gold medals just for showing up.Manson makes the argument, backed both by academic research and well-timed poop jokes, that improving our lives hinges not on our ability to turn lemons into lemonade, but on learning to stomach lemons better. Human beings are flawed and limited—"not everybody can be extraordinary, there are winners and losers in society, and some of it is not fair or your fault." Manson advises us to get to know our limitations and accept them. Once we embrace our fears, faults, and uncertainties, once we stop running and avoiding and start confronting painful truths, we can begin to find the courage, perseverance, honesty, responsibility, curiosity, and forgiveness we seek.There are only so many things we can give a f**k about so we need to figure out which ones really matter, Manson makes clear. While money is nice, caring about what you do with your life is better, because true wealth is about experience. A much-needed grab-you-by-the-shoulders-and-look-you-in-the-eye moment of real-talk, filled with entertaining stories and profane, ruthless humor, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k is a refreshing slap for a generation to help them lead contented, grounded lives.

Understand yourself and those around you.

psychology

Psychology

philosophy

Philosophy

personaldevelopment

Personal Development

motivationandinspiration

Motivation & Inspiration

books

Books

Mark Manson (born 1984) is a professional blogger, entrepreneur, and former dating coach. Since 2007, he's been helping people with their emotional and relationship problems. He has worked with thousands of people from over 30 different countries. He regularly writes and updates his blog at: www.markmanson.net

Mark Manson

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck

A 1% improvement in something barely noticeable (sometimes even invisible) can actually be much more meaningful, especially over the long term. What starts as a small victory or minor setback can accumulate into something much larger.

It doesn't matter how successful or unsuccessful you are right now. What matters is whether your habits are putting you on a path towards success or not.

Achieving goals only changes your life momentarily. This is counterintuitive to improvement. What we really need to change are the systems that produce those results.

If you find it difficult to change your habits, the problem isn't you. The problem lies in your system. Bad habits repeat not because you don't want to change, but because you have a faulty system for change.

Changing habits is difficult for two reasons: (1) we try to change something but miss the target, and (2) we try to change habits in the wrong way.

Your identity comes from your habits. You aren't born with inherent beliefs. Every belief, including those about yourself, is learned and conditioned through experience. More precisely, your habits depend on how you embody your identity.

Habits don't limit freedom. They create it. In reality, people who neglect their habits often have the least freedom.

One of our biggest challenges in changing habits is maintaining awareness of what we're actually doing. This helps explain why the consequences of bad habits can suddenly appear.

If you want to increase the likelihood of a behavior occurring, you need to make it attractive.

The actual cause of your habits is the anticipation that precedes the habit. Prediction leads to feelings.

Habits become attractive when associated with positive feelings and unattractive when associated with negative feelings.

In practice, it's not crucial how long a habit takes to become automatic. What matters is that you're doing what's necessary to make progress. Whether the action becomes fully automatic isn't so important.

The more often you ritualize the beginning of a process, the greater your chances of entering deeper focus needed for major things.

The best way to dismantle bad habits is to make their implementation impractical. Increase the barriers until you're reluctant to even do them.

The formula for stacking habits + monitoring habits is: After (current habit), I will (monitor my habit).

The secret to maximizing your chances of success is choosing the right field of competition.

The only way to become great is to stay enthusiastic about doing the same thing over and over again. You must fall in love with boredom.

The positive side of habits is that we can do something without thinking. The negative side is that we ignore opportunities for small mistakes to occur.

The #1 New York Times bestseller. Over 10 million copies sold! Tiny Changes, Remarkable Results No matter your goals, Atomic Habits offers a proven framework for improving--every day. James Clear, one of the world's leading experts on habit formation, reveals practical strategies that will teach you exactly how to form good habits, break bad ones, and master the tiny behaviors that lead to remarkable results. If you're having trouble changing your habits, the problem isn't you. The problem is your system. Bad habits repeat themselves again and again not because you don't want to change, but because you have the wrong system for change. You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems. Here, you'll get a proven system that can take you to new heights. Clear is known for his ability to distill complex topics into simple behaviors that can be easily applied to daily life and work. Here, he draws on the most proven ideas from biology, psychology, and neuroscience to create an easy-to-understand guide for making good habits inevitable and bad habits impossible. Along the way, readers will be inspired and entertained with true stories from Olympic gold medalists, award-winning artists, business leaders, life-saving physicians, and star comedians who have used the science of small habits to master their craft and vault to the top of their field. Learn how to: <ul><li>make time for new habits (even when life gets crazy);</li></ul><ul><li>overcome a lack of motivation and willpower;</li></ul><ul><li>design your environment to make success easier;</li></ul><ul><li>get back on track when you fall off course;</li></ul>...and much more. Atomic Habits will reshape the way you think about progress and success, and give you the tools and strategies you need to transform your habits--whether you are a team looking to win a championship, an organization hoping to redefine an industry, or simply an individual who wishes to quit smoking, lose weight, reduce stress, or achieve any other goal.

habits

Habits

problemsolving

Problem Solving

James Clear is the author of "Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones" He writes about habits, decision-making, and continuous improvement at jamesclear.com. His website receives millions of visitors each month and hundreds of thousands subscribe to his popular email newsletter.His work has appeared in the New York Times, Entrepreneur, Time, and on CBS This Morning. He is a regular speaker at Fortune 500 companies and his work is used by teams in the NFL, NBA, and MLB. Learn more at jamesclear.com

James Clear

Atomic Habits

Sir,I shudder at the thought of these moments slipping away from my memory’s expanse. Even if it is just one, I am unwilling to part. Though I am aware, I am nothing to you. Yet, to me, you are precious beyond measure. I wish to immortalize your existence on this earth with my quill; to etch black upon white. Though I know, perhaps, you will never read a single word from these pages.

Letter #1 (1/3)

Supposed you will never know these pages ever existed. Supposed you will never read these pages. Supposed I will never be able to convey what I express here. Forgive me, for I am such a coward. Only daring to stand in silence. Hiding and continuing to hide behind words you will never even read.

Letter #1 (2/3)

Who knows until when I will write these pages. I do not even know the end of our story. Ah, I am too audacious. Dare I say “our story”. Forgive me, Sir, I mean, yours and mine.If my feelings for you ever fade away one day, perhaps that will be the end of these pages.If.By the way, what do you prefer me to call you, Sir?

Letter #1 (3/3)

Once we were strangers, full of mystery. Fast forward we shall become two better halves entwined, full of companionship.

Letter #2

Sir, I fell in love with you not because of your position, look, nor attitude. You are the depiction of love itself, so how is it probable for my heart resists?

Letter #3

Your lambent stare casts me into another realm: world of mirage where hopes visit me every time we cross paths.

Letter #4

Is not love naught more than mere pseudo reflection? I queried, shrouded in the blackness of night.Years later, I encounter you, O Sir, so I received the answer sought:No, it is not.

Letter #5

Lukewarmness always enshroud me every time you sneaking in my intrusive thoughts. As a sine qua non, may I name you Mr. Peiskos?

Letter #6

I am enchanted by you, so five words that cross my intrusive thoughts, without a hint of doubt. A passing thought that serves as the opening sentence of my description when you quired, “In your opinion, what kind of person am I?” I remember, at that moment, I silently vowed to conclude my descriptive paragraph with six words, everything about you truly mesmerizes me.Alas! If only such bravery lay within my grasp. I apologize, in reality, I am a coward who only dare to standing for love in silence.

Letter #7

Debarking within our ephemeral story, your ephemeral game, and my ephemeral relish:Let me rename you qua Mr. Efimero.

Letter #21

When adore turns to invite mourn, the presence of the heart’s adoration rather invites wound.

Letter #37

O Mr. Efimero the ephemeral man, how do you fare in your new chamber? Hopefully, it is not pitch dark. For I comprehend well your fear of darkness.

Letter #65

(...then you left my garden without any single word except your footsteps stating such whimsically esoteric words).

Letter #75

[Full Version Available on Google Play Books & Shopee]<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Title: The Untold Poems for Mr. Efimero</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Year of Publication: 2024</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Author: Irza Fidah</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Publisher: Lovrinz</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Contents: vi + 184 pages</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Description: A collection of poems in English and Indonesia with a sad-romance genre.</li></ul>

About the Book

An anthology of poetry from a lady who was standing for love and broken hearted in silence. Perhaps you will say "this is me" from some of the poems; and perhaps not.

Sekumpulan puisi dari seorang perempuan yang pernah jatuh cinta berdiri untuk cinta dan patah hati dalam diam. Barang kali engkau akan berkata &quot;ini aku&quot; pada sebagian dari puisi-puisi ini; barang kali pula tidak. Ditulis secara bilingual (Inggris-Indonesia).

writing

Reading & Writing

loveandrelationships

Love & Relationships

artsandculture

Society, Arts & Culture

Irza Fidah

The Untold Poems for Mr. Efimero

The bystander effect (bystander apathy) refers to a phenomenon in which the greater the number of people there are present, the less likely people are to help a person in distress.

Definition

When an emergency situation occurs, the bystander effects holds that observers are more likely to take action if there are few or no other witnesses.

How the Bystander Effect Works

There are two major factors that contribute to the bystander effect:<ol><li class="ql-align-justify">The presence of other people creates a diffusion of responsibility.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">The need to behave in correct and socially acceptable ways.</li></ol>

Why Does it Happen?

<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Being aware of this tendency is perhaps the greatest way to break the cycle.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Single out one person from the crowd. By personalizing and individualizing your request, it becomes much harder for people to turn you down.</li></ul>

Prevention

The bystander effect refers to a phenomenon in which the greater the number of people there are present, the less likely people are to help a person in distress. Learn why it happens.

communication

Communication

What Psychology Says About Why Bystanders Sometimes Fail to Help

Decide exactly what you want. Clarity is essential. Write out your goals and objectives before you begin.

Set the Table

Thin on paper. Every minute you spend in planning can save you five or ten minutes in execution.

Plan Every Day in Advance

Twenty percent of your activities will account for 80 percent of your results. Always concentrate your efforts on that top 20 percent.

Apply the 80/20 Rule to Everything

Your most important tasks and priorities are those that can have the most serious consequences, positive or negative, on your life or work. Focus on these above all else.

Consider the Consequences

Since you can't do everything, you must learn to deliberately put off those tasks that are low value so that you have enough time to do the few things that really count.

Practice Creative Procrastination

Before to begin work on a list of tasks, take a few moments to organize them by value and priority so you can be sure of working on your most important activities.

Use the ABCDE Method Continually

Identify and determine those results that you absolutely, positively have to get to do your job well, and work on them all day long.

Focus on Key Result Areas

Identify the three thing you do in your work that account for 90 percent of your contribution, and focus on getting them done before anything else. You will then have more time for your family and personal life.

The Law of Three

Have everything you need at hand before you start. Assemble all the papers, information, tools, work materials, and numbers you might require so that you can get started and keep going.

Prepare Thoroughly Before You Begin

You can accomplish the biggest and most complicated job if you just complete it one step at a time.

Take it One Oil Barrel at a Time

The more knowledgeable and skilled you become at your key tasks, the faster you start them and the sooner to get them done.

Upgrade Your Key Skills

Determine exactly what it is that you are very good at doing, or could be very good at, and throw your whole heart into doing those specific things very, very well.

Leverage Your Special Talents

Determine the bottlenecks or choke points, internal or external, that set the speed at which you achieve your most important goals, and focus on alleviating them.

Identify Your Key Constraints

Imagine that you have to leave town for a month, and work as if you had to get all your major tasks completed before you left.

Put the Pressure on Yourself

Identify your periods of highest mental and physical energy each day, and structure your most important and demanding tasks around these times. Get lots of rest so you can perform at your best.

Maximize Your Personal Power

Be your own cheerleader. Look for the good in every situation. Focus on the solution rather than the problem. Always be optimistic and constructive.

Motivate Yourself into Action

Use technology to improve the quality of your communications, but do not allow yourself to become a slave to it. Learn to occasionally turn things off and leave them off.

Get Out of the Technological Time Sinks

Break large, complex tasks down into bite-sized pieces, and then do just one small part of the task to get started.

Slice and Dice the Task

Organize your days around large blocks of time where you can concentrate for extended periods on your most important tasks.

Create Large Chunks of Time

Make a habit of moving fast on your key tasks. Become known as a person who does things quickly and well.

Develop a Sense of Urgency

Set clear priorities, start immediately on your most important task, and then work without stopping until the job is 100 percent complete. This is the real key to high performance and maximum personal productivity.

Single Handle Every Task

Practice is the key to mastering any skill.

Your mental picture of yourself has a powerful effect on your behavior. Visualize yourself as a person you intend to be in the future.

Set a deadline on your goal; set subdeadlines if necessary.

You must discipline yourself to treat technology as a servant, not a master.

21 great ways to stop procrastinating and get more done in less time.

The motivational classic with more than 1.5 million copies sold will help you stop procrastinating and get more of the important things done—today!   There just isn’t enough time for everything on our to-do list—and there never will be. Successful people don’t try to do everything. They learn to focus on the most important tasks and make sure those get done. They eat their frogs.   There’s an old saying that if the first thing you do each morning is eat a live frog, you’ll have the satisfaction of knowing you’re done with the worst thing you’ll have to do all day. For Tracy, eating a frog is a metaphor for tackling your most challenging task—but also the one that can have the greatest positive impact on your life. Eat That Frog—Snapshots shows you how to organize each day so you can zero in on these critical tasks and accomplish them efficiently and effectively.   In this fully redesigned and illustrative edition, Tracy explains how you can use technology to remind yourself of what is most important and protect yourself from what is least important. But one thing remains unchanged: Brian Tracy cuts to the core of what is vital to effective time management: decision, discipline, and determination. This life-changing book will ensure that you get more of your important tasks done—today!

productivity

Productivity

timemanagement

Time Management

Brian Tracy is Chairman and CEO of Brian Tracy International, a company specializing in the training and development of individuals and organizations.He has consulted for more than 1,000 companies and addressed more than 5,000,000 people in 5,000 talks and seminars throughout the US, Canada and 55 other countries worldwide. As a Keynote speaker and seminar leader, he addresses more than 250,000 people each year.Brian has studied, researched, written and spoken for 30 years in the fields of economics, history, business, philosophy and psychology. He is the top selling author of over 45 books that have been translated into dozens of languages.

Brian Tracy

Eat That Frog

But life cannot support itself.

Quote #1

Nothing, can be more evident than this: The law is the organization of the natural right of lawful defense; it is the substitution of collective for individual forces, for the purpose of acting in the sphere in which they have a right to act, of doing what they have a right to do, to secure persons, liberties, and properties, and to maintain each in its right, so as to cause justice to reign over all.

Quote #2

Man can only derive life and enjoyment from a perpetual search and appropriation; that is, from a perpetual application of his faculties to objects, or from labor. This is the origin of property. But also he may live and enjoy, by seizing and appropriating the productions of the faculties of his fellow men. This is the origin of plunder.

Quote #3

The law is made, generally, by one man, or by one class of men. And as law cannot exist without the sanction and the support of a preponderant force, it must finally place this force in the hands of those who legislate.

Quote #4

So that if a law exists that sanctions slavery or monopoly, oppression or plunder, in any form whatever, it must not even be mentioned—for how can it be mentioned without damaging the respect that it inspires? Still further, morality and political economy must be taught in connection with this law—that is, under the supposition that it must be just, only because it is law.

Quote #5

The law sometimes takes its own part. Sometimes it accomplishes it with its own hands, in order to save the parties benefited the shame, the danger, and the scruple. Sometimes it places all this ceremony of magistracy, police, gendarmerie, and prisons, at the service of the plunderer, and treats the plundered party, when he defends himself, as the criminal.

Quote #6

Liberty is power. <ul><li class="ql-align-justify">In what does this power consist? In possessing education and tools of labor. </li><li class="ql-align-justify">Who is to give education and tools of labor? Society, who owes them. </li><li class="ql-align-justify">By whose intervention is society to give tools of labor to those who do not possess them? By the intervention of the State. </li><li class="ql-align-justify">From whom is the State to obtain them? It is for the reader to answer this question, and to notice whither all this tends.</li></ul>

Quote #7

Law is common force organized to prevent injustice;—in short, Law is Justice.

Quote #8

Law, because it has force for its necessary sanction, can only have the domain of force, which is justice.

Quote #9

Frédéric Bastiat's classic essay, "The Law." First published in 1850.

Frederic Bastiat explores the fundamental principles of law and its impact on society. With incisive clarity, he unveils the true purpose of law as a defender of individual rights and a safeguard against injustice.