<ul><li>Either/or thinking restricts solutions and mindsets.</li><li>Overemphasizing one side of a paradox while neglecting the other is limited at best and detrimental at worst.</li><li>Navigating paradox requires adopting mindsets that enable holding two opposing forces simultaneously. This challenges rational assumptions.</li></ul>Truth is not black and white. "Yes, and" thinking honors others' realities without necessarily agreeing. Multiple truths can coexist.

The Limits of Either/Or Thinking

<ul><li>Leaders face daily paradoxical dilemmas like tell or ask, step in or back.</li><li>The tug of war between conflicting options creates discomfort.</li><li>Rather than choosing either/or, reframe to embrace "this AND that" thinking.</li><li>There is a third space where opposites coexist synergistically.</li></ul>Starbucks doesn't have to trade off fast service and communal space but accommodates both.

Leadership Dilemmas as Paradoxes

<ul><li>Life's complexity reflects our own.</li><li>Vulnerability strengthens courage.</li><li>Woundedness builds integrity.</li><li>It's not either/or but this AND that.</li><li>Messy problems present dilemmas with logical but opposed solutions.</li></ul>Adaptive challenges lack roadmaps, unlike technical problems. Navigating paradox means shifting assumptions to hold contradictions together.

Why Both/And Thinking

There are four types of paradoxes, involving competing tensions:<ol><li>Performing paradoxes (goals)</li><li>Learning paradoxes (change)</li><li>Belonging paradoxes (identity)</li><li>Organizing paradoxes (structure)</li></ol>For instance, learning paradoxes balance exploiting current success and exploring future innovation. Belonging paradoxes raise opposing roles and values.

Four Types of Paradoxes

Without paradox mindsets, people get stuck in downward vicious cycles of either/or thinking: Rabbit holes (intensifying one pole), Wrecking balls (overcorrecting to the opposite extreme), and Trench warfare (each side attacking the other's stuck thinking).Cognitive, emotional and behavioral traps fuel these detrimental spirals.

Getting Stuck in Vicious Cycles

<ul><li>Truth is not singular - there are multiple realities.</li><li>"Yes, and" thinking respects others' views without agreeing.</li><li>Build on alternate perspectives to expand thinking.</li><li>Move from trying to control problems to coping amidst uncertainty.</li><li>Paradoxes persist; they cannot be permanently resolved.</li><li>Accept ambiguity.</li></ul>

Navigating Conflict 

Link tensions to higher purpose. Set vision passionately unifying opposites. Build guardrails ensuring both poles are represented.Diversify stakeholders across paradoxes. Long-term vision sustains creative friction.

Higher Purpose and Vision 

<ul><li>Enable low-cost experiments to try possibilities.</li><li>Use language and rewards to spur innovation.</li><li>Evaluate before broader rollout.</li><li>Continually revisit tensions - they evolve.</li><li>Name paradoxes to honor discomfort.</li><li>Conflict skills build comfort amid differences.</li></ul>

Experimentation and Evolution

<ul><li>Connect competing demands to individual goals. </li><li>Train leaders in paradox mindsets.</li><li>Help employees recognize tensions in their roles.</li><li>Build skills in conflict and vulnerability. </li><li>Make tensions tangible at individual levels.</li></ul>

Personalize Paradoxes

The problem is not the problem; the problem is how we think about the problem

A visionary company doesn’t seek balance between short term and long term. A visionary company...aims to be distinctly yin and yang; both at the same time, all the time.

Both/And Thinking is a book written by Wendy Smith and Marianne Lewis . It was published on August 9, 2022 by Harvard Business Review Press . The book delves into the concept of "both/and" thinking and how it can help individuals and organizations become more creative, flexible, and effective at solving problems.  Authors Wendy Smith and Marianne Lewis introduce the concept of "both/and" thinking as a way to break free of binary thinking and embrace more creative and effective problem-solving.

An insightful and inspiring book on using "both/and" thinking to make more creative, flexible, and impactful decisions in a world of competing demands.Life is full of paradoxes. How can we each express our individuality while also being a team player? How do we balance work and life? How can we improve diversity while promoting opportunities for all? How can we manage the core business while innovating for the future?For many of us, these competing and interwoven demands are a source of conflict. Since our brains love to make either-or choices, we choose one option over the other. We deal with the uncertainty by asserting certainty.There's a better way.In Both/And Thinking, Wendy Smith and Marianne Lewis help readers cope with multiple, knotted tensions at the same time. Drawing from more than twenty years of pioneering research, they provide tools and lessons for transforming these tensions into opportunities for innovation and personal growth.Filled with practical advice and fascinating stories—including firsthand tales from IBM, LEGO, and Unilever, as well as from startups, nonprofits, and even an inn at one of the four corners of the world—Both/And Thinking will change the way you approach your most vexing problems.

communication

Communication

teamwork

Teamwork

books

Books

Wendy Smith

Marianne Lewis

Both/And Thinking

<ul><li>Our lives are filled with storytelling, from the stories we tell our friends over dinner, to the ones we tell at eulogies, during toasts, at job interviews and on dates.</li><li>Stories help us relate to each other and build community.</li><li>Leveling up our storytelling game can lead to more meaningful connections.</li></ul>Here's their step-by-step guide on how to tell a story, from an idea to delivery.

The Art Of Storytelling

Does the story you want to tell have a beginning, a middle and an end? Does it have tension? Does it show some sort of transformation? These are the basic elements that make an anecdote blossom into a full-bodied story.When you're telling a story, you aren't just describing what happened when you walked into the coffee shop and saw your ex on a date. You're telling us how that moment felt emotionally, how you were affected, how you reacted and how you're a different person after having endured that moment.

Understand that A Story Is More than A Scene or An Anecdote

Each of us has hundreds of stories we could tell. How do we know which one to pursue? Think back to moments in your life that really shifted you in some way.Big decisions are a good place to find stories; so are embarrassing moments and mistakes. Think of a time you did something but it didn't go as planned. Within these kinds of prompts, you can begin to explore moments of vulnerability.

Select a Meaningful Story

Once you find the story you want to tell, put it under a magnifying glass to blow it up big. Where were you (physically, mentally, emotionally) at that moment? How did it impact your life? What were the results?Remember that in any great story you're not just sharing events that happened, you're also sharing the thoughts and feelings running through you during those events.

Develop Your Story

A good rule of thumb is to start in the action of the story – this will draw people in. From there, ask yourself if you'll tell your story in chronological order, if you'll start at the end and find your way back to the beginning, or if you want, tell it in a series of flashbacks instead of a linear structure.Don't worry about getting too fancy with the structure – often, telling a story chronologically is the best way to go.

Figure out The Structure

<ul><li>By this point, you know the moment your story is centered on, what the stakes or tensions are and how you want to tell the story. Writing the ending can be the hardest part.</li><li>You just have to end the story in a different place than where you began.</li><li>The key to a good ending is showing the audience your transformation over the course of the story, even if it's a slight transformation.</li></ul>

Understand how You've Changed by The End

If you're considering telling a story rooted in vulnerability or trauma, it's important to consider whether you're emotionally ready to share that story.Here are some signs you might not be ready to tell a story publicly:<ul><li>if you get stuck on one scene and aren't able to come out of it because you're reliving it – this can happen with traumatic events and could be a sign of post-traumatic stress disorder. </li><li>if it's tough to find an ending to a story, it may mean that you're still living it. You might need to "press pause" and return to the story when you've had more time to process it.</li></ul>

Ask Yourself if You're Ready to Share the Story

It's natural to feel nervous before sharing a story aloud. Become very familiar with your story. Practice enough to be comfortable telling it from memory, but the Moth team recommends that you don't memorize it word for word. If you memorize it verbatim, your delivery can sound stiff and you might go blank.A good strategy is to really learn the words you want to use for the beginning and end of your story, but keep your notes in between as bullet points. That way you can naturally fill the gaps, but you have your most important elements well-rehearsed.

Don't Memorize Stories. They Are Meant To Be Alive

Keep it short and tight. If you're telling a story in a more interactive environment, like over dinner, remember that the purpose of storytelling is to engage with others. It's not about taking the spotlight for the entire time you're with someone. You want to offer a jumping-off point for someone else to share their own story, too.

Remember that Storytelling Is Not About the Storyteller – It's About Connection

Storytelling creates connections and builds community. In this episode of Life Kit, storytelling coaches from The Moth give a step-by-step guide to telling good stories.

How to tell a captivating story — from a wedding toast to a job interview : Life Kit

The boomerang effect happens when you deliver a message hoping to produce a certain response or reaction, but the reaction turns out to be the opposite of what you had hoped it would be.Some of it stems from a natural desire not to conform. For those who have a stronger natural inclination to assert their autonomy and independence, doing the opposite of what you are asked or told is a way to communicate that you are in control. The boomerang effect is also sometimes called the psychological reactance theory.

The Boomerang Effect

<ul><li>Understand what you are asking: this means understanding your message from the perspective of the audience. And then, it’s creating a targeted and effective message based on that understanding.</li><li>Soften your delivery when the content is tough: If the content is already tough, the delivery needs to be softer.</li><li> Don’t oversell or overcommunicate. You might think that more communication, more messages, a longer presentation will help you persuade the audience and assure our intended response. Research shows that’s not the case.</li></ul>

How to avoid the Boomerang Effect

We can all be better communicators and presenters and humans when we remember:<ul><li>We don’t like messages that remind us we aren’t in control.</li><li>We don’t like to feel pressure to conform.</li><li>We need tough messages to be delivered calmly.</li><li>We like to have choices.</li><li>We don’t want to be bombarded with communication.</li></ul>

Becoming better communicators

The boomerang effect theory shows that our messages can sometimes produce the opposite effect of what we had hoped. Let's learn more.

marketingandsales

Marketing & Sales

Being funny can have both positive and negative consequences, in your personal as well as your professional life. And context is always important: when making a joke, for instance, you should definitely make sure the moment is appropriate for such a behavior.
Making the good jokes at the proper moment can help you become everybody's favorite at the workplace. However, making a bad joke can lead even to being fired: so make sure to choose your attitude appropriately.

Humor at work

Humor and status have always been tightly linked: good leaders seem to often use humor in order to motivate their team members' actions. As individuals, we tend to prefer, researchers claim, jokes that make us laugh while feeling slightly uncomfortable.
Furthermore, we perceive the joke teller as a self-confident person, who could easily become a leader due to his or her courage to make such a joke. The key point here is that the joke should be appropriate and match the context.

Humor and its effects on the status

Making inside jokes usually shows how bounded a team or a group is: their jokes can understood the best by themselves.
However, the moment an outsider integrates the group, it is better to avoid the inside jokes, as this will most probably make him or her feel out of place.

Inside jokes

Sarcasm has often been associated with creative thinking by numerous researchers.
Used when exchanging information with persons who know you well, it can easily lead to an improved communication level. On the contrary, when used in an exchange with persons you do not know well, can actually result in an unpleasant start. Therefore, better avoid it until it is safe to use.

Sarcasm and its use

Self-deprecating humor can be extremely useful when neutralizing negative information about oneself.
However, it should by all means be avoided when talking about core competencies. Knowing when and how to use it can make all the difference during a job interview, for instance.

Self-deprecating humor

We have all found ourselves, at some point in our life, feeling uncomfortable due to a question that was asked to us.
The way we answer to these questions is what makes us stand out in fact: showing self-confidence and humor makes the people around us feel happier and trust us more.

Humor as a weapon

When delivering negative feedbacks, a good way to do it is by engaging humor.
This has two main consequences: on one hand, it makes criticism more memorable and on the other, it softens negative feedbacks.

Humor and feedbacks

Whenever you deal with negative emotions, humor can prove extremely useful. It does not only ease your pain, but it can also help you cope with tough situations overall. This is mainly because humor makes you focus less on the negative information. However, it is worth mentioning that only positive humor makes people feel better, while dark humor makes them feel even worse. Therefore, when thinking to use humor, take a second to decide on the proper one to engage with.

Humor as tool to cope with negative feelings

Making jokes properly is actually an art, which can easily lead to solving or creating issues. A particular situation is the leader's one: mastering the art of joking often results in more popularity and trust from the side of your employees.

Making jokes properly

Some leaders use humor instinctively; many more could wield it purposefully.

career

Career

personaldevelopment

Personal Development

entertainment

Entertainment

Sarcasm, Self-Deprecation, and Inside Jokes: A User’s Guide to Humor at Work

The fantasy genre offers escapism from our lives into a different world where you can forget about the real problems surrounding your everyday life.
Children's fantasy are appealing to filmmakers. The authors explore a depth in their stories and characters that give screenwriters rich material to further expand the author's vision—for example, the successful The Hobbit trilogy and Rowling's Harry Potter.

Fantasy remains popular

Imagination is an essential feature in children's fantasy books. Cinematographers and animators have an abundance of artistic ideas to work from. For example, Studio Ghibli built its filmmaking legacy on children's books, such as Howl's Moving Castle and Kiki's Delivery Service, and turned the stories into visual masterpieces.

The visual element of children's fantasy books

Fantasy is a genre that has dominated children’s literature over the years, with JRR Tolkien, JK Rowling and Suzanne Collins spearheading the way in the crossover realm of book to film adaptation. So why is cinema recreating their fantastical lands? And what does the future hold?

sciencefiction

Science Fiction

movies

Movies & Shows

Why are so many children's fantasy books adapted as films?

We are born to seek other people's faces. Babies less than 10 minutes old prefer a picture of a human face to other images. People can't resist seeing faces on tree trunks, cloud formations, pieces of toast.
What makes faces so captivating is that they remind us that we share the world with people who are like us but are also unique.

Our brains are eager to spot human faces

We recognise people's faces instantly and without effort. We can recognise someone we know from a childhood photo. Although no one knows how this skill works, it seems to involve making a rough calculation about how the face fits together as a whole rather than comparing individual elements.
The problem with our ability to read faces is that we over-read them. As a result, our brains make quick calculations while overlooking our unconscious biases.

Faces: the building block of social life

Some people suffer from prosopagnosia - or face blindness - which affects about 2% of the population.
Prosopagnosiacs can't identify people from their faces. They will carefully scan faces for details like moles, skew teeth and monobrows. When they view a face from an odd angle, they might as well look at a new face. The rest of us process faces so quickly that we have stopped noticing them.

Taking faces for granted

Now that the world is reopening once more and filling with real faces, not hidden behind masks or on screens, we hold their gaze for slightly longer, perhaps because eye contact feels like a new privilege. We are aware of how quickly the world can change.
When people are conversing online, they have a phrase: "I see you." At its essence, it means "I notice your existence." Now that we can see each other again, we realise how we have missed being "seen."

"I see you"

We’ve spent a year obscured by masks and pixellated by Zoom. Are you ready to go back to reading real-life facial expressions in all their fascinating glory?

Understand yourself and those around you.

psychology

Psychology

problemsolving

Problem Solving

loveandrelationships

Love & Relationships

‘We are born hungry for faces’: why are they so compelling?

Fearing confrontation never does anybody good, especially to ourselves.
When we don't advocate for ourselves we will never be able to meet our needs. Surely, avoiding confrontation gives us temporary relief from our anxieties but it will not benefit us in the long run because the problem will keep hanging over our heads.

Afraid of confrontation

"Avoidance builds a wall between us and others - if we cannot speak with respectful honesty, we cannot build a close relationship."

"You have a need, want, or opinion, and you have every right to express it."

When we avoid confronting people or certain situations we can metaphorically think of ourselves as a kettle, where our negative feelings about the situation will bound to seep out regardless of how hard we try to ignore them.
It will show in the form of resentment, hostility, or passive aggression.

The damaging effects of avoidance

We may associate confrontation with heated arguments and doomed relationships, but confrontation can be quite healthy for the people involved when approached with kindness mixed with assertiveness, can be quiet healthy for people involved.
Start thinking of confrontation as a situation where you can have a radically honest conversation with the other person that could bring you closer or express deep concern and a negotiation where you could both win.

Confrontation is not a bad thing

<ul>
<li>Before confronting anyone, make sure that you have your feelings in check. Be specific about what you are feeling. Vagueness never does good.</li>
<li>List the things that upset you and bother you - from people to emotions, to unmet needs. You'll be able to bring even more clarity to the issue and have something to refer back to when you lose your train of thought.</li>
</ul>

Focus on what you have to say

Does the short-term reward of being relieved really pay off more than the long-term reward of "being done with it"? 
A couple of hours of discomfort is a small price to pay for the peace of mind you'll be able to enjoy afterward.

The delayed gratification of confrontation

<ul>
<li>During the confrontation, refrain from attacking the other person's character and keep the focus on your feelings. Confrontation shouldn't be a competition between who's right and wrong.</li>
<li>Express what you think and how you feel in a respectful manner. Remember that if you were being accused of something, it doesn't feel good either.</li>
<li>Take responsibility for what you have done wrong or could have done better in the situation and work together towards a mutually beneficial solution.</li>
</ul>

Collaboration over competition

<ul>
<li>Even if the overall outcome isn't what you expected, don't be too hard on yourself and give yourself credit for what you have done right.</li>
<li>Acknowledge your good and treat yourself to a little something that indulges you.</li>
<li>Learn how to reevaluate how you measure success and failure when it comes to confrontation.</li>
</ul>

Reward yourself

Conflict-averse? Here's what you can do to have a productive conversation that doesn't escalate into a fight.

How To Confront Someone When You Hate Confrontation

Before you have any conversation about hard topics, find areas of alignment.
In order to have an effective conversation, don't ask a question the other person is not willing to answer. When you desire a certain outcome, see where your goals and theirs align.

A good conversation about hard topics

Show the other party empathy. Validate their concern and give them your full attention.
Above all else, people want to know they are being heard. Every argument is about "Did you see me? Did you hear me?"

The root of conflict is not feeling heard

If the answer is unsatisfactory, reframe the question or ask a follow-up question.
The ability to be direct about desiring clarification is a skill we can benefit from.

Don't be afraid to follow up

Learn from the expert communicator herself how to ask uncomfortable questions and get the answers you need.

3 Ways Oprah Showed Us How To Have High-Stakes Conversations

“What you’re trying to do, when you tell a story, is to write about an event in your life that made you feel some particular way. And what you’re trying to do, when you tell a story, is to get the audience to have that same feeling.”

The Story Spine structure: Once upon a time there was [blank]. Every day, [blank]. One day [blank]. Because of that, [blank]. Until finally [bank].A story’s purpose: find why you want to tell this story, what belief of yours fueled that story, what does it teach and its purpose. Stories with a purpose that you are passionate about have a bigger impact.

Pixar’s Plotting Techniques For Structure And Purpose

“Storytelling is the greatest technology that humans have ever created.”

<ol><li>Great stories convey things common to the human condition in unique situations. They are universal. </li><li>Great stories have a clear structure and purpose. </li><li>People find it easy to root for an underdog and they don’t even need to succeed. They value the character’s journey over their destination.</li><li>Great stories appeal to our deepest emotions. </li><li>Having the readers perceptions of reality challenged or changed in some way makes for great storytelling.</li><li>Great stories are simple and focused. Resist the urge to show all the world building you made to allow your audience to get lost in the narrative. You can test your story by reading it to a new person and watching their reactions and questions.</li></ol>

6 Rules for Great Storytelling

Pixar is arguably one of the greatest storytellers of our generation. Over the years, they've won 13 Academy Awards, 9 Golden Globes, and 11 Grammys. Effective storytelling involves a deep understanding of human emotions, motivations, and psychology in order to truly move an audience.

writing

Reading & Writing

6 Rules of Great Storytelling (As Told by Pixar)

It is not the person who has the best idea or the right answer that wins. It is the person who tells the most compelling story that wins.
Many successes work this way. Tesla is worth seven times more than GM and Ford combined, not because it built a good business but because Elon Musk is good at getting peoples attention.

The best story wins

&quot;The best arguments in the world won’t change a single person’s mind. The only thing that can do that is a good story.&quot;

Stories can squeeze the full potential out of something with less effort.
Trying to explain something difficult with only facts and figures is often dead to the hearer. Part of what made Albert Einstein so talented was his imagination and ability to break complexity down into a simple picture. He considered gravity by imagining bowling balls and billiard balls competing for space on a trampoline surface.

When a topic is complex, stories are like leverage

Stories can capture and direct attention.
Steven Spielberg said: "The most amazing thing for me is that every single person who sees a movie brings a whole set of unique experiences. But through careful manipulation and good storytelling, you can get everybody to clap at the same time, to laugh at the same time, and to be afraid at the same time."

Stories get diverse people to focus on a single point

Rory Sutherland stated that &quot;It seems likely that the biggest progress in the next 50 years may come not from improvements in technology but in psychology and design thinking. Put simply, it’s easy to achieve massive improvements in perception at a fraction of the cost of equivalent improvements in reality.&quot;
Many ideas that have already been discovered could grow so much more if someone just explained them better.

Both/And Thinking

How to tell a captivating story — from a wedding toast to a job interview : Life Kit

The Boomerang Effect

Sarcasm, Self-Deprecation, and Inside Jokes: A User’s Guide to Humor at Work

Why are so many children's fantasy books adapted as films?

Isabel G.