Exercise - Close your eyes and imagine you're sitting across from yourself in 20 years. How might that change the decisions you make today? Yale professor Laurie Santos suggests upgrading this exercise by generating an AI image of yourself in the future and using it to envision talking to your future self. "We often perspective-take on our future self quite poorly . . . but Hal [Hershfield's] research has found that just seeing a picture of your future self can bring [the idea] more into view. It helps with that process of trying to figure out what [the future you] would really want."

Connecting with an Image of Your Future Self

Yale's professor, Laurie Santos, who teaches the class - Psychology & The Good Life - also has a free Coursera course titled, The Science of Well-Being. Link here to find it > <a href="https://www.coursera.org/learn/the-science-of-well-being?irclickid=znzQb5T-kxyPU0TRiY2hIxdKUkCV6yT0EyEj2I0&irgwc=1&utm_medium=partners&utm_source=impact&utm_campaign=10078&utm_content=b2c">Coursera The Science of Well-Being</a>

Free Course - The Science of Well-Being

<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Perfectionism can be like an internal drill sergeant who is constantly yelling at you. </li></ul> <ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Procrastination and perfectionism are often intimately linked. You're worried you won't do a task well, or will struggle with it, so you avoid it. </li></ul> <ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Self-compassion and talking to yourself with kindness are much more likely to get you back on track than continuing to let the drill sergeant berate you. </li></ul> <ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Try saying something to yourself like: Hey, this is hard right now, but it's normal to struggle with getting started on big things. You've got this. </li></ul>

Antidotes to Perfectionism

How we talk to ourselves about stress is all-important, and this is another place where our inner voice can be a friend or an enemy. If we have something big coming up, and our self-talk is "This week is going to be terrible" that affects not just our thinking, but our body's physiological response. It spikes our stress hormones, and the event hasn't even happened yet. We can change the internal conversation, and reduce our actual stress levels. We could say, "This week is a busy one, and that is a good thing! The adrenaline will kick in to help, and we can do some great things this week."

We Can Change Our Perception of Stress

"We have a choice in how we frame things - and recognizing that the way we frame them is having these longer-lasting effects about whether we're turning on our fight-or-flight system . . . The way we talk to ourselves matters a lot for what happens to our physiology."

<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">The beauty of our psychological systems is that even "faking it until you make it" works at some level.</li></ul> <ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Your brain is still hearing those statements and internalizing them - especially if you say them out loud.</li></ul> <ul><li class="ql-align-justify">And this turns down the hormones and stress reaction. </li></ul>

What If I'm Faking Positive Self Talk?

One of the techniques that Laurie Santos suggests is a self-compassionate touch."Grab your shoulder, give it a stroke, and say "Hey, this is going to be okay." It seems so cheesy, but again, your mind is stupid. It doesn't know that it's not a caring friend or your mom coming to give you a hug. You can fake a lot of stuff with your brain, but physiologically, it will follow."Giving yourself a caring touch and speaking compassionate words can help calm your nervous system and reset the stress response.

Self Compassionate Touch

<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">We assume that suppressing our emotions avoids pain, but that is only in the moment, and the long-term impact is much worse. </li></ul> <ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Santos uses a gas light metaphor - when the gas light comes on, there is the momentary pain of stopping to fill up, but that is better than ignoring it and running out of gas on the highway.</li></ul> <ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Emotions work like this too. If we notice anxiety and allow it to move through us, then the undercurrent won't follow us, and spill out when we say something mean later on.</li></ul> <ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Evidence suggests that parents can take stress and emotion home and have it come out at their kids later. </li></ul>

Suppressing Emotions Means they Often Slip Out in Other Ways

We naturally set up expectations, and they affect how we view things, and can undermine our happiness. A famous study on Olympians found that their overall satisfaction with their medal was related to expectations and reference points.A bronze medal winner tended to be happier because they felt lucky to be on the stand - they were only one place away from not being there.In contrast, a silver medalist's comparison point was the gold, and they felt dissatisfied compared to that reference point. The wished they had gold, and tended to feel like they had missed out.

Our Expectations Can Undermine Our Happiness

Small tidbits on how you can live a happier life, based on psychology and the teachings of Yale's most popular course titled - Psychology & The Good Life.

Understand yourself and those around you.

psychology

Psychology

personaldevelopment

Personal Development

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Motivation & Inspiration

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Mental Health

Psychology & The Good Life - Insights from Yale’s Most Popular Course

We're prone to negativity, but that is because we're designed to be sensitive to threats. False alarms are a "feature, not a bug, of our threat-defense system." Sometimes, we might detect threats where none exist, but that is only because we're sensitive enough to detect real threats—just like a smoke detector. We need to be aware of this tendency, as this "negativity bias" can undermine our ability to be hopeful and proactive. If we confuse these feelings for wisdom and let them dominate our culture and workplaces, we'll miss out on many opportunities.

The Smoke Detector Principle

“Hope is more active than optimism.”<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Optimists believe the future will turn out well. They might be happy, but they’re often complacent, and content to wait for a bright tomorrow.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Hopeful people believe things might turn out well. But they expect uncertainty and recognize that actions matter.</li></ul>

Hope Vs Optimism

When you’re hopeful it isn’t enough to simply be positive about the future and think good thoughts.It requires you to get working toward to future you want to sure up.Two elements that are essential:<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Willpower - a desire to bring about hoped for outcomes.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Waypower - charting a clear path to achieve our intentions. Creating a plan of action.</li></ul>“Because hopeful people make plans for and work toward the future they want, they’re more effective than optimists.”

Willpower & Waypower

Hopeful individuals in the workplace work hard, think broadly, and experience higher levels of well-being and positive morale at work. In a 2024 study, workers who felt supported — especially by their supervisors — experienced greater waypower. They were more likely to find a way through challenges at work, and to help their colleagues.

Hopefulness is Correlated with Positive Outcomes at Work

"Our culture has stereotyped [hope] as naïve, privileged, and even dangerous, but in fact, it can be a useful tool for producing innovative ideas and finding ways to deliver on them."

<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Set Goals Grounded in Shared Values</li></ul>Hope requires a goal, so at the organizational level, hope requires shared goals. Leaders can focus on values and the organization's mission to remind the team what they're working towards. <ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Find Ways to Empower Your People</li></ul>People feel more hopeful when they feel a sense of control and autonomy. "Hope blooms only when people feel agency over their future." Think about how you can delegate important tasks to empower team members and loosen the managerial reins. <ul><li class="ql-align-justify">Celebrate Progress</li></ul>Hope can build on itself. Pay attention to progress and celebrate it!

3 Steps to Building a Hopeful Culture at Work

This is an overview of how Hope can be a grounded, useful, action-based strategy for helping people respond proactively to workplace challenges. 

Negativity attracts attention and is often equated with intelligence, so it’s no surprise that leaders often feel they need to focus on what might go wrong. That kind of defensive posture can be helpful, in that it allows leaders and organizations to detect problems and threats, but it can also narrow your focus, and in so doing reduce your creativity and make it hard for you to recognize opportunities. Hope, research in behavioral psychology suggests, provides a bulwark against this self-defeating behavior — and if leveraged appropriately, it can be a powerful force in helping organizations thrive.

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Corporate Culture

business

Business

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Human Resources

The Strategic Power of Hope at Work

Our minds - our thinking and our dreams - are the vital fuel for what we create.How did you get here from where you were a year ago? We thought up what we should do and then we went after it.The thought came first . . . then we channel this into action.And it is action that changes our lives.You could say that matter derives from mind, but mind does not derive from matter. We think, and from those thoughts, we go on to create. Thinking starts everything.First we decide, then we create.

Our Minds Create For Us

When something threatens our being, or any sense of knowing that we’re okay, we seek to protect ourselves.Inadvertently we start creating a cage around ourselves to keep us feeling safe. We put up the bars one by one, and the next thing you know, we’re caged.The dictator becomes our fear. Thinking it is protecting us, it keeps us trapped inside the smallness of our self-made cage, and we become imprisoned by our own minds.These cages keep us from fully experiencing all life has to offer. We miss out.

We Create Our Own Cages

“There is nothing worse than not experiencing life for the fear of what it may bring.”

We can’t tell other people how to live. Even if we disagree with them, or feel like their beliefs are inherently wrong, we have to let them go through their own process.Because as adamantly as we think they’re wrong, they believe they are right.Individual changes in consciousness are what will propel the world into peace, love and truth. Forcing other people to follow suit, to see her side, will not further your cause.True peace can only be created by us raising our consciousness. Lead by example. “Change your level of consciousness and watch others change by their own volition.”

Peace In The World Around Us Has To Begin As Peace Within Us

The truth inside you will win out eventually, or it will drive you mad. Your truth isn’t a passing thought or feeling that will just dissipate one day. You won’t get over it. What is calling you forward may be scary, and require you to have big faith, but if you continue to deny the call from within, you will ache.You’ll only become more and more aware that you’re denying yourself the greatest joy because you’re afraid of the possibility of the facing the greatest disappointment.The brave may not live forever, but the cautious do not live at all.

Your Truth Won’t Go Away

“We don’t usually change until not changing is the less comfortable option.”

We are creators. Our thoughts are wavelengths just like tangible wavelengths such as voices. It’s just we can’t physically experience them. Our thoughts and intentions have power and energy.We are spiritual beings in a physical world - Creators. While we cannot control every little thing, we can always control how we will respond to a situation, and how we will use our creative spark.Everything we experience in life is merely feedback. Our lives are within our control. Power comes from being the creator of our experience, and not falling prey to being passive agent in our lives.

The Substance Of Your Life Is Within Your Control

Five profound life lessons imbued with wisdom from book - The Truth About Everything. Thought-provoking guidance to help you live a deeper life.

Brianna Wiest's first book The Truth About Everything was released July 10, 2013, and went on to be one of the best selling books on Amazon for two straight years. To commemorate the book's success, we are re-releasing the title with a new cover and updated introduction. Life is an uncertain morphing of the beautiful and devastating, the reckless and ordained, the inconsequential and cataclysmal. In this first compilation of her work, Brianna Wiest writes about her own experiences uncovering the life's greatest truths. The selected pieces are ones you'll turn to when you are in need of answers, comfort or a little tough love. Brianna writes from a place of solace and understanding, as "The Truth About Everything" asks you to challenge what you thought to be true, take the spiritual journey, and come out on the other end with your own story to tell.

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Books

Brianna Wiest is an accomplished writer whose work has resonated with readers around the world. Brianna Wiest has published several books that explore a range of topics, from fiction to nonfiction, and has received critical acclaim for the ability to weave compelling narratives. Brianna Wiest's writing style is known for its depth and authenticity, and has earned quite a loyal following of readers.

Brianna Wiest

The Truth about Everything

“When we face a problem that is circumstantial, we are facing the reality of life. When we face a problem that is chronic, we are facing the reality of ourselves.”

Self sabotage shows up when you have two conflicting desires. One is conscious, one is unconscious.Self sabotage is a maladaptive coping mechanism that shows up as a way to keep us comfortable and safe. It is a way to give ourselves what we need, without having to address what that need really is.Your unhelpful habits or behaviors, the ones you feel powerless to stop, are skillfully designed by your subconscious to meet an unacknowledged need or desire. They serve a purpose . . . you just need to get deeper to understand what that purpose is.

Self Sabotage Is A Form Of Self Protection

“Self sabotage comes from belief systems. What you believe about your life is what you will make true about your life.”

Be grateful for the person that has got you this far, and lean into your future self, the person you want to become, because that is who will lead you forward.Your life is defined by what you think about yourself - Your self-concept. This is an idea you’ve spent whole life building.As we update our self concept, our beliefs about ourselves begin to change. We can align these toward what our future self truly desires, and start adopting the behaviors that will allow us to become that person.

Let Your Future Self Lead You Forward

Even though we think we’re programmed to find happiness, we’re actually programmed to seek whatever we are most used to.Human beings have a natural resistance to the unknown. It is the ultimate loss of control.Self sabotage is often a simple product of unfamiliarity and anything that is foreign, even if good, will be uncomfortable until it is familiar.We’re programmed to seek what we’ve known. Even though we think we’re after happiness, we’re actually trying to find what we’re most used to. Comfort. This makes us feel safe, which is a natural human evolutionary drive.

We Resist The Unknown

How to get out of denial - get real with yourself and stop settling for less than you deserve from yourself.If you think you could be doing better in life, you might be right. If you sense you have more potential, you might be right. Kidding yourself about this reality doesn’t serve you.Denying reality does not help us get closer to who we want to be. It keeps us stuck.If you are constantly rationalizing your life, making excuses for your behavior, and justifying - you’re in denial.If you want to get closer to who you really want to be, you have to take full responsibility for your life.

Clarity Requires You Get Out Of Denial

The greatest act of self love is to no longer accept a life you are unhappy with.

If you are constantly stressed, panicked and unhappy, something is wrong, and it is an invitation to look deeper.You cannot simply love yourself out of this. That is a form of denial that will just prolong your suffering.You must get out of denial and into clarity about what is really wrong.Once you make a decision that you are no longer are willing to feel a certain way, you have an opportunity to reinvent who you truly are.Your rock bottom is the place where you face reality and can rebuild a new version of you.

Face What Isn’t Working

To overcome self sabotage, you have to take action in the area that you are uncomfortable.Conscious, dedicated and uncomfortable action is what helps you create the life you truly desire.Prioritizing comfort is a form of self sabotage that will simply keep you stuck where you currently are.

You Have To Claim The Life You Want - It Won’t Be Handed To You

We have to disconnect action from feeling. We become comfortable with what we repeatedly do. When we are changing our behaviors, initially it will feel uncomfortable, and we have to override this with logical and reason, and not be driven by emotionality.Your emotions do not have to control your behaviors. Make them conscious, as only then can you choose how you want to behave rather then have your feelings and emotions unconsciously in charge of how you behave.

Your Emotions Do Not Need To Control Your Behavior

“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”

“The cultural obsession with chasing happiness, shielding oneself from anything triggering, and the idea that life is primarily good and any challenge we face is a mistake of fate actually weakens us mentally.”Our minds need adversity. They are anti-fragile which means they actually get better with adversity. We need a challenge to be our best.Anti-fragile things need tension, resistance, adversity and pain to transform and become stronger.If you stay away from any real challenge in your life, your brain will compensate by inventing a challenge to overcome and create anxiety.

Our Brains Need Challenge

“Mental strength is not just hoping nothing ever goes wrong, it’s believing you have the capacity to handle it if it does.”

Healing isn’t linear. It’s a process, that can be thought of as “positive disintegration”. This forces us to rebuild our self concept.This helps us find the most empowered version of ourselves. We leave naivety behind, and instead find self-responsibility.Through positive disintegration you can ultimately find inner strength and realize you have the power. You can redirect your life. Instead of what you can’t control, you find your life can be built on what you do. When you heal you become stronger where you were broken. This builds self-trust.

To Become Our Most Powerful, We Must Heal

“You realize that action leads to results and if you want to control the outcomes in your life, you need to adjust your habits.”

It’s easier to pretend that you’re not responsible for your life and the outcomes. But this will not get you the life you want.Don’t focus on what you can’t control. The majority of your life is the direct result of your actions, decisions and choices.Believing only in fate makes you mentally weak. It places you in the passenger seat when you need to be behind the wheel of your life. You have the power to influence what you experience in life.Start putting your energy into actions that will build the life you want. Take responsibility for the outcomes in your life.

Your Actions Create Your Life

You are not supposed to feel happy all of the time. Trying to feel happy all the time is not the solution, it’s the problem.We’re obsessed as a culture with happiness. This hurts us, as it stops us from trying and doing hard things, or has us judging things in our life that are difficult and hard.Mental strength requires you have the ability to let difficult emotions pass through. They are a part of life.Life isn’t about chasing huge overwhelming highs. It is about leaning into the little joys consistently.Real joy is finding happiness where you are and how you are.

We’re Not Supposed To Be Happy All The Time

“It is essential that you learn to take action before you feel like doing it. Taking action builds momentum and creates motivation.”

A guide to help illuminate the deeper why’s behind your self-sabotage, this book offers ideas to help move you from where you are to the person you want to be. The gap between is what Wiest refers to as - the mountain.

THIS IS A BOOK ABOUT SELF-SABOTAGE.Why we do it, when we do it, and how to stop doing it-for good.Coexisting but conflicting needs create self-sabotaging behaviors. This is why we resist efforts to change, often until they feel completely futile. But by extracting crucial insight from our most damaging habits, building emotional intelligence by better understanding our brains and bodies, releasing past experiences at a cellular level, and learning to act as our highest potential future selves, we can step out of our own way and into our potential.For centuries, the mountain has been used as a metaphor for the big challenges we face, especially ones that seem impossible to overcome. To scale our mountains, we actually have to do the deep internal work of excavating trauma, building resilience, and adjusting how we show up for the climb.In the end, it is not the mountain we master, but ourselves.

Psychology & The Good Life - Insights from Yale’s Most Popular Course

The Strategic Power of Hope at Work

The Truth about Everything

The Mountain Is You

Kate Snowise