People's beliefs about their abilities have a profound effect on those abilities. Ability is not a fixed property; there is a huge variability in how you perform. People who have a sense of self efficacy bounce back from failures; they approach be in terms of how to handle them rather than worrying about what can go wrong.

Do you have what it takes to succeed in your career? The secret of success is not what they taught you in school. What matters most is not IQ, not a business school degree, not even technical know-how or years of expertise. The single most important factor in job performance and advancement is emotional intelligence. Emotional intelligence is actually a set of skills that anyone can acquire, and in this practical guide, Daniel Goleman identifies them, explains their importance, and shows how they can be fostered. For leaders, emotional intelligence is almost 90 percent of what sets stars apart from the mediocre. As Goleman documents, it's the essential ingredient for reaching and staying at the top in any field, even in high-tech careers. And organizations that learn to operate in emotionally intelligent ways are the companies that will remain vital and dynamic in the competitive marketplace of today—and the future.

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Working With Emotional Intelligence

1. Do not be content to be average. Mediocrity breeds boredom, poor opportunity, and an unsatisfactory lifestyle. Instead, decide to excel in everything you do, and be distinctive if not unique, in your approach.

2. Take well analysed risks, particularly when there is everything to gain and little to lose. Do not be afraid of rejection when you have competently and ethically tried to succeed.

3. Be skilled in political strategy. Interpersonal, leadership, and motivational skills are important for success, but few consider political strategy. In my mind, there is organizational politics in any group with more than three people.

Info

Advice on careers, finance, and life from Harvard Business School's Class of 1963

What do you know now that you didn’t know then?

We all seem to think that we’re somehow different — that the natural laws of aging don’t apply to us. That our missteps are the fault of bad luck, not poor reasoning. That we’ll always have time later to right our wrongs, get close to our children, and find our true calling.

If there’s one thing the advice of these 1963 Harvard Business School grads makes abundantly clear, it's that no one is exempt. The most successful of these alumni — depending on how you define “success” — have still known their fair share of tragedy, illness, and other setbacks.

So, while all the graduates have their own take on what he or she knows now that escaped them in 1963, there’s a bigger message that those who are still finding their true path should take to heart.

That message is that it’s not about the diploma, the bank account, the résumé, the summer home, the books authored, the stock options, the wine cellar, or the luxury sedan in the driveway. "Keep your perspective," they say. "Realize that your purpose in this world is, first and foremost, to make a better life for others."

To those who see their own 50th class reunion as an imperceptibly distant point on the horizon, this may all sound like trite platitudes. "But take our word for it," says the Class of 1963. One alumnus put it as simply as it can ever be stated: “Be kind. Soon we’ll all be dead.”

Life is about change. You must embrace the future and learn from each triumph and tragedy, forever determined to move onward and upward. Do not be a bystander. Make taking risks intelligently part of your repertoire.

Contemplate your failures more than your successes — not to lament where you fell short, but to learn the valuable lessons that will ensure you will not fail the same way again.

Do not despair over forces beyond your control. If you believe in God, as I do, your faith can carry you through even the darkest times. Find solace in the fortitude of your integrity, and focus on those things you can control.

Time is fleeting. Invest as much of yourself in your family as in your career — a lesson I had difficulty realizing. As some of the things you once place great emphasis on slowly fade away, family will be your foundation forever.

Know that everything you do will affect those you love the most.

Embrace humility and learn from your mistakes, but do not let them consume you with the paralysis of indecision or the depression of regret.

Understand that money is not the end game. It is, however, a great enabler. Money helps satisfy your curiosity concerning the world. It will enable you to travel and expand your horizons. It will also provide you with independence and the ability to support your family and friends in need, as well as give to your community, educational institutions, and church.

This is the real value of money, as I learned from my father. Earn it honestly, take risks intelligently to achieve extraordinary rewards, and give back generously.

Take care of your body. Exercise regularly. Do not smoke or drink excessively. Your body is the vessel of your soul.

Contribute to your team. Participate in sports — especially team sports —as long as you can. Some invaluable lessons can be learned from team sports, such as the interdependence we have on one another and that the whole really is more than the sum of its parts.

We are always indebted to others for our successes, including our strong forbearers — mother and father, members of our family, teachers, colleagues, mentors, and priests.

Even if your marriage is blessed with children and happiness, it still presents a challenge and requires a series of adjustments.

Finally, in everything you achieve, take satisfaction from your own efforts, perseverance, mental strength, and judgment. Yet, always acknowledge the contributions of those family members and friends upon whose shoulders you stand.

I switched fields twice in my academic career — I believed the entire experience was part of growing up. The lesson here for young people: Do not hesitate to switch interests, majors, or fields of concentration. Find your preference or your passion, then focus on it to your heart’s content.

Success is a journey – not a race. Prepare well, retain good practices, and make a habit of effective strategies:

<ol><li>Do not be content to be average. Mediocrity breeds boredom, poor opportunity, and an unsatisfactory lifestyle. Instead, decide to excel in everything you do, and be distinctive, if not unique, in your approach. </li><li>Take well-analyzed risks, particularly when there is everything to gain and little to lose. Do not be afraid of rejection when you have competently and ethically tried to succeed. </li><li>Be skilled in political strategy. Interpersonal, leadership, and motivational skills are all important for success, but few consider political strategy. In my mind, there is organizational politics in any group with more than three people. </li> </ol>

It has been said, “Happiness is achieved not by having what we want — but by wanting what we have.” This is precisely where I find myself at this time in my life.

Certain practical lessons I have learned could possibly be helpful to others:

First, I would recommend postponing marriage and children until later in life. In my view, there is no more important decision any of us will ever make. Despite all the statistics that confirm the unlikelihood of marriage succeeding in the teen years, I somehow missed that lesson and caused myself and others a lot of unnecessary anguish. While I was fortunate enough to have been given a second chance at finding happiness, not everyone is that blessed, and the process of beginning again is anything but easy.

Second, I learned the hard way how important it is to maintain a healthy balance in life — between career and family, work and relaxation in particular. Achieving and maintaining this balance requires regular soul-searching as well as self-discipline. It is all too easy to rationalize when promotions, bonuses, and perks are being waved in your direction. The consequences of imbalance are easy to recognize: poor physical health, broken relationships, and spiritual poverty.

Third, I would advise anyone with a genetic predisposition to alcoholism to be wary about using this recreational drug. While treated as almost a social requirement in some settings, it is nothing less than toxic for anyone with this weakness. Having been sober for almost 20 years, I can attest to the freedom and joy that overcoming this illness can provide.

Put your family first and, when things go wrong at work, put the problems aside and enjoy time with your loved ones. Family vacations are the best times you will ever have.

If you find an industry and position that you like and are good at, stay in it until you have achieved significant success, even if it means you have to join a less-than-first-tier firm.

You will have the most enjoyment working with people who are smart, of high integrity, and committed to achieving something substantial.

Never stop learning, and be willing to take a risk in your career.

Success is highly dependent on many variables — not just you. Do not fool yourself that you can do anything and turn around any product, project, or company without the right people and resources.

Constant and honest introspection and visualization of what you want for your future are important.

Almost everyone has good intentions and excellence within them, if they’re put in the right position and given the opportunity to learn and develop.

Of all the things I thought would provide a happy and successful life, the one most undervalued was the attention paid to wife, children, and other family during the beginning years. Sacrifice of family for job achievement for the “long-term good of the family” was a myth.

The long-term measure of success has less to do, in my view, with monetary achievement and public acknowledgement than with the privilege of being able to provide a path of progress and growth for the family and being part of a loving, supportive family unit. For me, that success was sometimes elusive, but I’m grateful to say it has been a steady foundation later in my life.

Serving as class secretary and following 600 alumni over 50 years has taught me to become an “info junkie.” I am also a voracious reader of periodicals of all kinds. All this information leads one to spot trends and look into the future for new trends — sometimes bad and sometimes good.

Travel is another great spur to personal growth. My wife Sue and I have visited 168 countries, and have roughly 40 to go to exceed the number in the United Nations and reach what most consider the more civilized world.

Finally, community participation and giving back are both very helpful in achieving personal growth

All in all, personal growth comes from looking ahead and giving back as much as one possibly can. Keeping track of 600 people for a lifetime was one of the most educations experiences one could ever have.

The life lessons that have best stood the test of time for me were more about things my parents taught me and less the results of hard knocks or academic experience. They helped provide the self-esteem, confidence, and peace of mind to survive a lot of ups and downs. Among those lessons:

<ul><li>Do your homework. </li><li>Respect others. </li><li>Find the good in both people and situations. </li><li>Earn people’s trust. </li><li>Be a good communicator but know when to keep a secret. </li><li>Be humble. </li><li>Watch the other guy’s back. </li><li>Learn to tell truth from fiction. </li><li>Don’t delude yourself. </li><li>Think outside the box. </li><li>Lead by example. </li> </ul>

These may seem pretty clichéd, but combined with native intelligence, they went a long way. I’m not sure I would do anything differently in my life. Everyone makes mistakes, but how one rectifies and recovers from them is critical to defining one’s life.

Life's Lessons | If I Knew Then

A belligerent samurai, once challenged a zen master to explain the concept of heaven and hell. But the monk replied with scorn, "You're nothing but a lout- I can't waste my time with the likes of you! "His very honor attacked, the samurai flew into rage and pulling his sword from the scabbard, yelled, "I could kill you for your impertinence. ""That," the monk calmly replied, "is hell. "Startled at seeing the truth in what the master pointed out about the fury that had him in its grip, the samurai calmed down and bowed, thanking the monk for the insight."And that" said the monk, "is heaven."

An old Japanese tale

Awareness of one's own feelings as they occur.It might seem at first glance that our feelings are obvious; more thoughtful reflections reminds us of times we have been all too oblivious to what we really felt about something, or awoke to these feelings late in the game.Self awareness or metamood as psychologists say, is the sense of an ongoing attention to one's internal states. In this self reflexive awareness mind observes and investigates experience itself, including the emotions.

Know Thyself 

At its best, self observation allows an equanimous awareness of passionate or turbulent feelings. At a minimum, it manifests itself simply as a slight stepping back from experience, a parallel stream of consciousness that is "meta": hovering above or beside the main flow, aware of what is happening rather than being immersed and lost in it. It is the difference between, for example, being murderously enraged at someone and having the self-reflexive thought "This is anger I'm feeling" even as you are enraged. This is the first step in gaining some self control.

Self Awareness

Self awareness in short, means being "aware of both our moods and our thoughts about that mood"

#1 BESTSELLER • The groundbreaking book that redefines what it means to be smart, with a new introduction by the author “A thoughtfully written, persuasive account explaining emotional intelligence and why it can be crucial.”—USA Today Everyone knows that high IQ is no guarantee of success, happiness, or virtue, but until Emotional Intelligence, we could only guess why. Daniel Goleman's brilliant report from the frontiers of psychology and neuroscience offers startling new insight into our “two minds”—the rational and the emotional—and how they together shape our destiny. Drawing on groundbreaking brain and behavioral research, Goleman shows the factors at work when people of high IQ flounder and those of modest IQ do surprisingly well. These factors, which include self-awareness, self-discipline, and empathy, add up to a different way of being smart—and they aren’t fixed at birth. Although shaped by childhood experiences, emotional intelligence can be nurtured and strengthened throughout our adulthood—with immediate benefits to our health, our relationships, and our work. The twenty-fifth-anniversary edition of Emotional Intelligence could not come at a better time—we spend so much of our time online, more and more jobs are becoming automated and digitized, and our children are picking up new technology faster than we ever imagined. With a new introduction from the author, the twenty-fifth-anniversary edition prepares readers, now more than ever, to reach their fullest potential and stand out from the pack with the help of EI.

freedom(?) 

Emotional Intelligence

From a biological perspective, nothing is unnatural. Whatever is possible is by definition also natural, a truly unnatural behaviour, one that goes against the law of nature, simply cannot exist, so it would need no prohibition.&nbsp;

The most important finding is that happiness does not really depend on objective conditions of either wealth, health or community, rather it depends on the correlation between objective conditions and subjective expectations, like, if you want a bullock cart and get a bullock cart, you're content, if you want a brand new ferrari and get a second-hand fiat you feel deprived.

Happiness and growth goes hand in hand

According to Buddhism, the root of suffering is neither the feeling of pain nor of sadness nor even of meaninglessness. Rather the real root of suffering is this never-ending and pointless pursuit of ephermal feelings, which causes us to be in a constant state of tension, restlessness and dissatisfaction. Due to this pursuit the mind is never satisfied. Even when experiencing pleasure, it is not content, because it fears this feeling might soon disappear, and craves that this feeling should stay and intensify.

What is happiness? 

People are liberated from suffering not when they experience this or that fleeting pleasure, but rather when they understand the impermanent nature of all their feelings, and stop craving them. This is the aim of Buddhist meditation practices. In meditation you're supposed to closely observe your mind and body, witness the ceasing arising and passing of all your feelings, and realise how pointless it is to pursue them. When the pursuit stops, the mind becomes very relaxed, clear and satisfied.

How to achieve Happiness? 

True happiness is independent of external conditions and of our inner feelings. Indeed the more significance we give to our feelings, the more we crave them, and the more we suffer. Buddha's recommendation was to stop not only the pursuit of external achievements, but also the pursuit of inner feelings.

New York Times Bestseller A Summer Reading Pick for President Barack Obama, Bill Gates, and Mark Zuckerberg From a renowned historian comes a groundbreaking narrative of humanity’s creation and evolution—a #1 international bestseller—that explores the ways in which biology and history have defined us and enhanced our understanding of what it means to be “human.” One hundred thousand years ago, at least six different species of humans inhabited Earth. Yet today there is only one—homo sapiens. What happened to the others? And what may happen to us? Most books about the history of humanity pursue either a historical or a biological approach, but Dr. Yuval Noah Harari breaks the mold with this highly original book that begins about 70,000 years ago with the appearance of modern cognition. From examining the role evolving humans have played in the global ecosystem to charting the rise of empires, Sapiens integrates history and science to reconsider accepted narratives, connect past developments with contemporary concerns, and examine specific events within the context of larger ideas. Dr. Harari also compels us to look ahead, because over the last few decades humans have begun to bend laws of natural selection that have governed life for the past four billion years. We are acquiring the ability to design not only the world around us, but also ourselves. Where is this leading us, and what do we want to become? Featuring 27 photographs, 6 maps, and 25 illustrations/diagrams, this provocative and insightful work is sure to spark debate and is essential reading for aficionados of Jared Diamond, James Gleick, Matt Ridley, Robert Wright, and Sharon Moalem.

New York Times Bestseller A Summer Reading Pick for President Barack Obama, Bill Gates, and Mark Zuckerberg From a renowned historian comes a groundbreaking narrative of humanity’s creation and evolution—a #1 international bestseller—that explores the ways in which biology and history have defined us and enhanced our understanding of what it means to be “human.” One hundred thousand years ago, at least six different species of humans inhabited Earth. Yet today there is only one—homo sapiens. What happened to the others? And what may happen to us? Most books about the history of humanity pursue either a historical or a biological approach, but Dr. Yuval Noah Harari breaks the mold with this highly original book that begins about 70,000 years ago with the appearance of modern cognition. From examining the role evolving humans have played in the global ecosystem to charting the rise of empires, Sapiens integrates history and science to reconsider accepted narratives, connect past developments with contemporary concerns, and examine specific events within the context of larger ideas. Dr. Harari also compels us to look ahead, because over the last few decades humans have begun to bend laws of natural selection that have governed life for the past four billion years. We are acquiring the ability to design not only the world around us, but also ourselves. Where is this leading us, and what do we want to become? Featuring 27 photographs, 6 maps, and 25 illustrations/diagrams, this provocative and insightful work is sure to spark debate and is essential reading for aficionados of Jared Diamond, James Gleick, Matt Ridley, Robert Wright, and Sharon Moalem.

Kavya Yerram

ALBERT BANDURA

Working With Emotional Intelligence

Life's Lessons | If I Knew Then

An old Japanese tale

Emotional Intelligence

Sapiens