Considering we all want two things out of life : Success and Happiness. The common denominator to achieving both is other people. Merely getting along isn't the answer, what counts is having the skill to deal with them that brings us personal satisfaction.

The Art of Dealing with People

The word Egotism carries a negative connotation. However, it's not always negative. If it can cause people to do silly, irrational and destructive things, it can also cause them to act nobly and heroically.Fun Facts : -<ul><li>We are all egotists.</li><li>We are more interested in ourselves than in anything else.</li><li>Every person you meet wants to feel important and wants to amount to something.</li><li>There is a craving in everyone for the approval of others, so that he can approve himself.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">If you are on good terms with yourself, you're on good terms with others.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">A starved ego is a mean ego.</li></ul>

Understanding Human Ego

<ol><li>To deal with the trouble caused by low self-esteem in others - help them like themselves. Satisfy their hunger for self-esteem.</li><li>Form the habit of paying at least 5 sincere compliments each day and watch how much smoother your relations with others become.</li><li>Give others a personal reason to help you. A reason that will enhance their ego.</li></ol>

Tips

By reverse engineering the title we can conclude that 'We need to feel that other people recognize and acknowledge our importance.' So it is important for us to make them to feel that way too.

Importance of making others feel important!

<ol><li>Convince yourself once and for all that other people are important. "For ease of application - Imagine as if they are the last person standing on the earth other than you, wouldn't they be important?"</li><li>Notice Others. When you're dealing with a group, try to acknowledge everyone in the group.</li><li>Don't compete with people. The most effective way to make a good impression on others is to let them know you're impressed by them. </li><li>Know when to correct others. "Does it make any real difference whether they're right or wrong?" </li></ol>PS :- Don't try to win all the little battles!

4 Ways to make others feel important - 

People react and respond in a like manner to the attitude and action expressed by others. You have to adopt the attitude you want others to express. Put magnetism in your personality.<ol><li>Watch your walk; your physical actions express your mental attitude.</li><li>Firm your handshake with just a little squeeze in it as it denotes self confidence and says "I've got a firm grasp of things."</li><li>Morderate your tone of voice.</li><li>Use the magic switch of smile.</li></ol>Begin today. Speak out. Watch your posture. Hold your head up. Walk with a confident step as if you have somewhere important to go to.

Controlling The Actions And Attitudes Of Others

The world forms its opinion of us largely from the opinion we have of ourselves.<ul><li>Don't wear a disguise.</li><li>Don't knock the competition (others or their products).</li><li>Pose questions that set up the answer.</li><li>Don't try too hard to impress, let others know that they are making a good impression.</li></ul>

Creating a good impression

<ul><li>Acceptance :- A critical, fault finding person, who always sees where people fall short usually suggests a remedy and is never going to be stampeded by others. By liking others as they are, you give them power to change themselves.</li><li>Approval :- You can always find something to approve of in others.</li><li>Appreciation :- Raise others in value. </li></ul>How to do it?<ol><li>Don't keep people waiting .</li><li>If there is someone you cannot see immediately, acknowledge their presence. Let them know you will be with them as soon as possible.</li><li>Thank people.</li><li>Treat people as "Special".</li></ol>

Developing an Attractive Personality

<ul><li>Stop trying to be perfect. </li><li>Small Talk isn't supposed to be brilliant. It is necessary to keep the wheels of conversation turning.</li><li>Get people to talk about themselves. </li><li>Ask questions to interest others.</li><li>Talk about yourself when you're invited and asked but don't overdo it, turn the spotlight back to others.</li><li>Use happy talk. Don't be too critical or pessimistic. </li><li>Overcome the temptation to tease and be sarcastic.</li></ul>

Learning to Communicate Effectively

Listening makes you clever. People will tell you what they want, if you'll listen. You have to know what they want; what they need and who they are in order to deal with them effectively. Listening helps overcome self-consciousness. Too much talk gives you away. Practice the art :- <ol><li>Look at the person who's talking .</li><li>Appear deeply interested. Respond to cues.</li><li>Lean towards the person just enough.</li><li>Ask the right questions.</li><li>Don't interrupt, instead, ask for more.</li><li>Stick to the speaker's subject.</li><li>Use the speaker's words to get to your point.</li></ol>

Listening

During a disagreement, we must make our natural response persuasion instead of argument. The only way to win an argument is to get others to change their minds.Rules for winning arguments :-<ol><li>Allow others to state their case. Allowing them to vent reduces their hostility.</li><li>Slightly pause before you answer. </li><li>Don't insist on winning 100%. Give in on minor and unimportant points here and there.</li><li>State your case moderately and accurately.</li><li>Speak through third parties.</li><li>Allow others to save face. "I felt the same way about the at first, until I saw this which changed the picture."</li></ol>

Getting People to Agree

Praise releases energy.Rules for saying "Thank you" :- <ul><li>It should be sincere.</li><li>Don't mumble it; speak up.</li><li>Thank people by name.</li><li>Look at people when you thank them.</li><li>Work at thanking people.</li><li>Thank them when they least expect it.</li><li>Praise the act or attribute rather than the person.</li></ul>

Giving Praise

One of the most common failings in human relations is the way we attempt to increase our own feeling of self worth by lowering the self esteem of others. "I'm telling you this for your own good", no we're not!Look at criticism in a new light.<ol><li>It must be made in absolute privacy.</li><li>Preface it with a kind word or compliment.</li><li>Make criticism impersonal; criticize the act, not the person.</li><li>Supply the answer, tell them how to do it right.</li><li>Ask for cooperation; don't demand it.</li><li>Only one criticism per offense; twice is unnecessary; thrice is nagging.</li><li>Finish in friendly fashion. "I know I can count on you."</li></ol>

Criticizing others without offending them

Thank you for reading!!

It's seldom we find an actually helpful self-help book, most of them are killers.

What is the one quality that all successful people have in common? They have mastered the art of dealing with people! Let this book show you how to: <ul><li>Achieve your goals </li><li>Handle the human ego </li><li>Become a master conversationalist </li><li>Make others feel good about themselves </li><li>And much more! </li></ul> Skill
 with people is the one essential ingredient for success and happiness 
at home and in business. "The Art of Dealing With People" gives you the 
skills to take your people skills to a level that you never thought 
possible! Skill in human relations is similar to skill in any 
other field, in that success depends on understanding and mastering 
certain basic general principles. You must not only know what to do, but
 why you're doing it. As far as basic principles are concerned, 
people are all the same. Yet each individual person you meet is 
different. If you attempted to learn some gimmick to deal successfully 
with each separate individual you met, you would be face with a hopeless
 task. Influencing people is an art, not a gimmick. When you 
apply gimmicks in a superficial, mechanical manner, you go through the 
same motions as the person who "has a way," but it doesn't work for you.
 The purpose of this book is to give you knowledge based upon an
 understanding of human nature: why people act the way they do. The 
methods presented in this book have been tested on thousands of people 
who have attended my human relations seminars. They are not just my pet 
ideas of how you should deal with people, but ideas that have stood the 
test of how you must deal with people. That is, if you want to get along
 with them and get what you want at the same time. Yes, we all 
want success and happiness. And the day is long past, if it ever 
existed, when you could achieve these goals by forcing people to give 
you what you want. And begging is no better, for no one has respect for,
 or any desire to help, the person who constantly kowtows and literally 
goes around with his hand out, begging other people to like him. The
 one successful way to get the things you want from life is to acquire 
skill in dealing with people. Download now and you will learn how.

communication

Communication

books

Books

Les Giblin

The Art of Dealing With People

Sometimes we all tend to feel pressured. It could be as petty or big as solving a math problem and not reaching to a solution. These situations may make us feel inadequate and shake our confidence. We tend to see ourselves as inferior to others in terms of knowledge.But if you feel this way maybe you're just out of shape and you can use this idea to get rid of that internal dialogue.Being out of shape isn’t a permanent state, the same way that lack of knowledge isn’t fixed.

Maybe you‘re just out of shape

The rapid pace of technological change demands career-long adult learning for workers to gain new skills and retain good jobs.Traditional institution-driven mindset around learning: learning is passive. It’s something that happens to us, and is dependent on a specific context.We need to change this mindset. Learning is something that we must practice regularly on our own. It’s a health habit as important as exercise. It can be painful in the beginning but gets easier with time.

Lifelong learning is an increasingly important skill

1. Pick a goal but stay flexible.2. Warm up but stay challenged.3. Find the right environment and the right people.4. Get addicted to progress.5. Don’t underestimate the importance of recovery time.

5 thoughts on getting in shape

Don't be so much specific but flexible because great learning can also be spontaneous.Perhaps you pick up a book about labor policy that you find quite dense, but it points you to a biography about Frances Perkins. If you are too attached to your goal of finishing the first book and ignore your curiosity, it will become a recipe for killing the joy of learning.

1. Pick a goal but stay flexible

Before you start exercising, you need to stretch. Before you dive into very challenging material, you ought to review. But also ensure you don’t get discouraged right off the bat. Don't lose focus.Everything gets easier with practice, and the end result is worth the effort.

2. Warm up but stay challenged

Being in the right environment is key to continuous learning. Right people and these maybe your friends, colleagues or just internet groups can help you find the right solution. It’s also important to have the right equipment, like a whiteboard or your favorite pens in every color.

3. Find the right environment and the right people

Start from the basic level and watch yourself progressing. Don't get discouraged when you see people who make it look easy.When we’re trying to understand something fundamentally new, we’re not going to see results right away. And the only difference between you and the people making it look easy is that those people have spent more time getting to that stage. With time and deliberate practice you will start to connect new ideas and notice minor changes in the way you think.

4. Get addicted to progress

We must remember that our brains needs rest to let information settle and before we can fully absorb it.Sleep, meditation, and regular breaks are all <a href="https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/mental-downtime/">vital for optimal cognitive performance</a>. Sometimes you’ll have your biggest breakthroughs when you just walk away from the problem.

5. Don’t underestimate the importance of recovery time

Giving yourself time to think, without any goals or particular outcomes in mind is one of the most powerful and enjoyable parts of the learning process. That’s where you’ll find the deep connections, epiphanies, and pure joy in feeding your curiosity.

Feed your curiosity

Reason why we should care about learning: it is a source of limitless joy.Exercise your curiosity. You might feel fatigued or like you’re not up for the challenge, but with practice, patience, and effort, we are all capable of learning.

Learning for ourselves

Learning is something that we must practice regularly on our own. It’s a health habit as important as exercise. It can be painful and challenging, but ultimately it gets easier.

The Art of Dealing With People

You’re not bad at learning. You’re just out of shape.

Mansi Pal