Mansi Pal's Key Ideas from The Art of Dealing With People
by Les Giblin

1. To deal with the trouble caused by low self-esteem in others - help them like themselves. Satisfy their hunger for self-esteem.
2. Form the habit of paying at least 5 sincere compliments each day and watch how much smoother your relations with others become.
3. Give others a personal reason to help you. A reason that will enhance their ego.

By reverse engineering the title we can conclude that 'We need to feel that other people recognize and acknowledge our importance.' So it is important for us to make them to feel that way too.

1. Convince yourself once and for all that other people are important. "For ease of application - Imagine as if they are the last person standing on the earth other than you, wouldn't they be important?"
2. Notice Others. When you're dealing with a group, try to acknowledge everyone in the group.
3. Don't compete with people. The most effective way to make a good impression on others is to let them know you're impressed by them. 
4. Know when to correct others. "Does it make any real difference whether they're right or wrong?" 

PS :- Don't try to win all the little battles!

People react and respond in a like manner to the attitude and action expressed by others. You have to adopt the attitude you want others to express.

Put magnetism in your personality.

1. Watch your walk; your physical actions express your mental attitude.
2. Firm your handshake with just a little squeeze in it as it denotes self confidence and says "I've got a firm grasp of things."
3. Morderate your tone of voice.
4. Use the magic switch of smile.

Begin today. Speak out. Watch your posture. Hold your head up. Walk with a confident step as if you have somewhere important to go to.

The world forms its opinion of us largely from the opinion we have of ourselves.

• Don't wear a disguise.
• Don't knock the competition (others or their products).
• Pose questions that set up the answer.
• Don't try too hard to impress, let others know that they are making a good impression.

• Acceptance :- A critical, fault finding person, who always sees where people fall short usually suggests a remedy and is never going to be stampeded by others. By liking others as they are, you give them power to change themselves.
• Approval :- You can always find something to approve of in others.
• Appreciation :- Raise others in value. 

How to do it?

1. Don't keep people waiting .
2. If there is someone you cannot see immediately, acknowledge their presence. Let them know you will be with them as soon as possible.
3. Thank people.
4. Treat people as "Special".

• Stop trying to be perfect. 
• Small Talk isn't supposed to be brilliant. It is necessary to keep the wheels of conversation turning.
• Get people to talk about themselves. 
• Ask questions to interest others.
• Talk about yourself when you're invited and asked but don't overdo it, turn the spotlight back to others.
• Use happy talk. Don't be too critical or pessimistic. 
• Overcome the temptation to tease and be sarcastic.

Listening makes you clever. People will tell you what they want, if you'll listen. You have to know what they want; what they need and who they are in order to deal with them effectively. Listening helps overcome self-consciousness. Too much talk gives you away. 

Practice the art :- 

1. Look at the person who's talking .
2. Appear deeply interested. Respond to cues.
3. Lean towards the person just enough.
4. Ask the right questions.
5. Don't interrupt, instead, ask for more.
6. Stick to the speaker's subject.
7. Use the speaker's words to get to your point.

During a disagreement, we must make our natural response persuasion instead of argument. The only way to win an argument is to get others to change their minds.

Rules for winning arguments :-

1. Allow others to state their case. Allowing them to vent reduces their hostility.
2. Slightly pause before you answer. 
3. Don't insist on winning 100%. Give in on minor and unimportant points here and there.
4. State your case moderately and accurately.
5. Speak through third parties.
6. Allow others to save face. "I felt the same way about the at first, until I saw this which changed the picture."

Praise releases energy.

Rules for saying "Thank you" :- 

• It should be sincere.
• Don't mumble it; speak up.
• Thank people by name.
• Look at people when you thank them.
• Work at thanking people.
• Thank them when they least expect it.
• Praise the act or attribute rather than the person.

One of the most common failings in human relations is the way we attempt to increase our own feeling of self worth by lowering the self esteem of others. "I'm telling you this for your own good", no we're not!

Look at criticism in a new light.

1. It must be made in absolute privacy.
2. Preface it with a kind word or compliment.
3. Make criticism impersonal; criticize the act, not the person.
4. Supply the answer, tell them how to do it right.
5. Ask for cooperation; don't demand it.
6. Only one criticism per offense; twice is unnecessary; thrice is nagging.
7. Finish in friendly fashion. "I know I can count on you."

Thank you for reading!!