Possessing <ul><li>emotional attunement and empathy, </li><li>self-awareness, and </li><li>the ability to be in touch with uncomfortable emotions </li></ul>grants a person <ol><li>the opportunity to help instead of hurt,</li><li>the ability to cultivate healthy and close relationships with others, and</li><li>the power for permanent growth and change.</li></ol>It facilitates <ul><li>trust in relationships,</li><li>ability to help and empower others, and</li><li>collaborate with others effortlessly.</li></ul>

Why a high EQ is good

<ul><li>Emotionally attuned to others - They can sense any change, show sincere empathy, and offer support or guidance.</li><li>Self-awareness - They are able to see how their unintentional actions or words might have been perceived by others. So they make an effort to clear the air.</li><li>In touch with uncomfortable emotions - They act constructively on what their emotions tell them to do. Differentiating between feeling states such as disappointment, hurt, envy, <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/anger">anger</a>, frustration, <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/embarrassment">shame</a>, sadness, <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/fear">fear</a>, and confusion can help a person unpack and understand intense and overwhelming emotions.</li></ul>

3 Habits of high EQ people

Recognize what emotional intelligence looks like in daily life.

Understand yourself and those around you.

psychology

Psychology

personaldevelopment

Personal Development

loveandrelationships

Love & Relationships

High EQ Is a Superpower: Three Habits Signify You've Got It

If you’ve ever been severely jetlagged or sleep-deprived, there’s a good chance that you have experienced transient depersonalisation. Think of it like an airbag for the mind - part of the body and brain’s natural response to stress. Depersonalisation is feeling like you’re ‘in a dream’ or ‘not really there’. Up to <a href="https://www.nami.org/About-Mental-Illness/Mental-Health-Conditions/Dissociative-Disorders">75 per cent</a> of people will feel so at least once in their lives, but it will mostly be fleeting and usually at a point of stress or fatigue. It's a normal response.

Depersonalization is common

<ul><li>Recognise the feelings as a normal & harmless part of the fight-or-flight response.</li><li>Don’t fight the feelings, focus on other activities. Trying to suppress thoughts makes them more constant. It's called the ironc process. Gently turning your attention away will allow those thoughts to fade away naturally.</li><li>Try focusing attention on the outside world (grounding). Watch your favorite show, do crosswords, or learn a new skill.</li><li>Exercise releases endorphins, generates a strong sense of accomplishment, promotes socialising, changes environment to break the negative thought patterns.</li></ul>

How to come out of depersonalization

If you feel detached from the world, you might be going through depersonalisation. Be reassured, there are ways to recover

mindfulness

Mindfulness

health

Health

mentalhealth

Mental Health

How to cope when life seems unreal | Psyche Guides

Success requires consistent aligned action... and the right habits ensure you keep taking meaningful action even when feeling unmotivated or uninspired.Habit-<ul><li>frees up focus for other things by putting actions on autopilot.</li><li>cuts back the 'need' for motivation to be consistent.</li><li>makes every day productive & meanigful.</li></ul>It's easier to replace than to break an old habit.

Why right habits are important

“ What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals.”

1. Introspection - The habit of spending time alone routinely helps <ul><li>strengthen your conviction in your goals,</li><li>realign plans & strategies with your changing expectations from life. </li></ul>2. Learning - The habit of staying open to improvement & new ideas <ul><li>shifts focus from proving our knowledge to taking on challenges & growing,</li><li>expands the horizon pf possibilities.</li></ul>3. Read - Get in the habit of reading<ul><li>to stay inspired, improve your knowledge, & learn from the collective wisdom of those who have done it.</li><li>The more you know, the better are your chances of getting creative ideas.</li></ul>

10 best habits for success (1-3)

“An insincere and evil friend is more to be feared than a wild beast; a wild beast may wound your body, but an evil friend will wound your mind.”

4. Boundaries - To stay focused on things that truly matter develop the habit of saying no to choices not aligned with your life goals & priorities.5. Stress management - Stress busies up the brain’s focus & it essentially becomes unable to find creative solutions. Develop a habit of doing things that create a sense of calm & enhanced awareness.6. Time management - Success requires discipline, staying organized, & prioritizing.7. Move - Develop the habit of taking care of your body - exercise, maintain good posture, take care of your sleep & what you eat.

10 Daily habits for success (4-7)

8. Choosing positivity - Consciously choose to focus on the positives every day staying aware of all the potholes.<ul><li>The desire to look for solutions helps deal with emotionally demanding situations better.</li><li>How you experience life is influenced heavily by your self-talk</li></ul>9. Unplug - Make a habit of unwinding every day. Do whatever it takes to change your pace & unwind. It'll keep you motivated, efficient, & more resilient to stress.10. Consistency - Consistent action goes further than the perfect plan. When you show up every day, results start showing up for you.

10 best habits for success (8-10)

Meaningful success looks different for all of us. But, no matter what it looks like for you, the one key thing that ensures you achieve success  is consistent aligned action. Habits for success…

habits

Habits

How 10 Best Habits for Success Can Make Your Life Easier

Bad decisions never look like bad decisions at the moment.So, a better strategy and faster way to stock up that "things to avoid" bin is learning from others' mistakes.It amps up our effort to avoid making dumb decisions.

Learn from others' mistakes

Trying too hard to make the perfect choice causes analysis paralysis. When we overanalyze every decision to avoid any kind of regret, it paralyzes us into indecision... that's how people end up wasting their lives. "What if... that means... but then... also... Oh, I've circled back.. but..."Becoming aware of yourself overthinking anything is the first step to stop doing it.

Don't overthink

When you make small decisions early, before they become big — it’s easy. When you put off decisions, they become big — and painful.It's like 'a stitch in time' kind of situation... deal with it when the things is small, before it becomes unmanageable.

Make small decisions & decide often

No matter what, we are making decisions all the time.... sometimes conscious, but more subconscious.Not making a decision... "I'll put it off to another time" is also a decision.So, to have more control over the outcome, we need to make more conscious decisions... earlier.

Earlier decisions = Better decisions

We all make bad decisions. But the funny thing is that bad choices never seem like bad decisions in the moment. I’ve been reading about the decision-making process of Warren Buffet and Charlie Munger, two of the most successful investors of all time. Here's a simple strategy that helps you to make better decisions.

leadershipandmanagement

Leadership & Management

Want To Make Better Decisions? Do This - Darius Foroux

<ul><li>Fewer medical intervention needs.</li><li>Better relationships with family & friends.</li><li>Better able to choose correct actions in social situations.</li><li>Less likely to stress drink.</li><li>Less likely to relataliate aggressively.</li><li>More flexible regulating emotions</li></ul>

Benefits of naming emotions exactly

Emotions are NOT automatically trigered by events. They are constructed by our brain.Decades of research at Northeastern University has proven that our brain's most important job is not thinking or feeling or even seeing... but to make sure we survive & thrive. Our brain constantly predicts... and those ultimately become the emotions we experience & notice in others.And since our brain constructs emotions, we can teach it to label them more precisely so that we can use it to take the most appropriate action.

Myth about Emotions

<ul><li>What - Categorizing is combining different emotion concepts to express feelings precisely. Like when leaving home to join a college in a different city. So many different emotions combine to make us feel the way we do in that moment.</li><li>Why - To be better able to cope with a wide range of circumstances. Plus, better understand others, negotiate conflict, & get along with people.</li><li>How - Practice. Just like painters learn to see fine distinctions in colors others cannot, you can practice the skill of categorizing.</li></ul>People pay good money to therapists and life coaches for exactly this purpose.

#1. Practice the skill of categorizing

The brain can give us more tailor-made tools to fit each specific situation if we can articulate more precisely how we are feeling<ol><li>Understand the difference between feelings words.</li><li>Pick words from other languages if yours doesn't have a specific word for what you are feeling. Like, Dutch for togetherness is gezellig, & Greek for feeling of major guilt is enohi.</li><li>How it works - More specific words 👉🏼clearer concept👉🏼more accurate predictions👉🏼better anticipation & fulfillment of body's energy needs👉🏼better sense of wellbeing.</li></ol>

#2. Learn more emotion words

When people speaking in public recategorize their anxiety as excitement, their sympathetic nervous system still creates  jittery butterflies but...they perform better

By more clearly identifying our feelings or by recategorizing them, we can reduce suffering (yes!) and increase well-being, says neuroscientist Lisa Feldman Barrett.

Try these two smart techniques to help you master your emotions

<ul><li>They are outnumbered - In heavily populated areas, we have been clearing the landscape which large predators use. The animals that escaped, became wary of humans. A study even showed the sound of humans talking was enough to scare away pumas & smaller predators like bobcats. The human sounds were of people reciting poetry & passages from books.</li><li>On a brighter note, According to Justin Suraci, lead scientist with an NGO, wild predators' "healthy fear" of humans may help us coexist, "as long as we're conscious about their presence."</li></ul>

Why animals fear defenseless humans - WHAT we do

<ul><li>We walk upright - According to Joh Hawks, paleoanthropologist, University of Wisconsin-Madison walking upright makes us look tougher & more threatening than we actually are... animals like chimpanzees & gorillas too stand to express threat.</li><li>Humans are social creatures - We live in groups & aggressively defend ourselves with weapons... taking the fight to predators.</li></ul>

Why animals fear defenseless humans - WHO we are

Humans are slow and weak compared with bears, pumas and other large predators, but these beasts usually avoid us. Why don't these animals try to eat us more often?

scienceandnature

Science & Nature

Humans are practically defenseless. Why don't wild animals attack us more?

In psychology, mindfulness has 2 components -<ol><li>Attention - moment to moment experience. Paying attention to the thoughts, feelings, sensations in the present moment.</li><li>Attitude - Paying attention to these with an open attitude... with elements of curiosity, acceptance without judgment (good or bad)</li></ol>It has a long history in Buddhist philosophy and is a part of larger set of practices to reduce suffering and increase enduring happiness. Mindfulness meditation is used to cultivate the state of mindfulness. It does to our mind what exercising does to our body - makes it stronger & more flexible.

Psychology & Philosophy of Mindfulness

Experience based neuroplasticity - brain continuously makes or strengthens some connections & breaks or weakens other. Meditation can significantly alter our experiences of stress & change our brain - <ul><li>Function - In a Yale study, fMRI showed the amygdala (part of brain involved in the experience of negative emotions) was less active during stress in people who meditated.</li><li>Structure - A Harvard study showed it also increased density of the amygdala. (Chronic stress can cause the hyperactive amygdala to become bigger in size).</li></ul>

The science of meditation

<ul><li>Technique - Attend to & accept any sensation you experience of physical pain without making any judgment of "goodness" or "badness" of that sensation. You can ask yourself - "I am feeling pain right now but can I be Ok with this feeling?"</li><li>A Yale study showed mindfully accepting pain can -</li></ul><ol><li>decrease pain intensity ratings (about 27%).</li><li>Mindful reaction decreases response in brain's pain matrix (brain's regions involved in experiencing pain). It decreases neural response to pain about 40% - 68%.</li></ol>A little bit of mindfulness at the right time can go a long way. Practice makes it even more effective.

How to use mindfulness for physical pain

"The last of human freedoms - to choose one's attitudein any given set of circumstances."

Our experience of life is influenced by the events that happen, but more so by how we respond to them.We have the power to choose or at least practice getting better at choosing our response to what happens in life. Mindfulness helps us do this effectively.Our attitude cannot erase physical pain or the need for may be medical assistance, but it can help make the experience better, or at least stop it from feeling worse -<ol><li>Realize you have the power to choose.</li><li>Stop the kind of respsonses you actually want to have - feeling annoyed, angry, 'why me'.</li></ol>

Mindfulness - the power to choose

<ul><li>Close your eyes & notice the movement of breath through your body... in and out. </li><li>Mind will start wandering uncontrollably to memories, planning for something, things we wished we had done, judging ourself for having wandered, distracted to the incomplete to-do list.</li><li>Practice mindfulness - notice & accept that your mind wandered. This is the best practice to develop the skill of mindfulness & applying it to everyday events. </li></ul>

Mindfulness - where to begin

More than 100 psychological studies support the fact that mindfulness meditation improves increased overall wellbeing includingPsychological functions -<ul><li>Stress</li><li>Anxiety</li><li>Cognitive function</li><li>Depression</li><li>Addiction</li><li>Problem eating</li></ul>Biological functions -<ul><li>Blood pressure</li><li>Pain</li><li>Stress markers</li><li>Cellular health</li></ul>

How meditation improves overall wellbeing

Centar za Mindfulness IDIS Zagreb, Ivana Stožira 5 Web: https://mindfulness-idis.hr/ FB: http://www.facebook.com/centarzamindfulness/ The original comes from TEDx Talks's channel: https://youtu.be/mzEh5nE-tNU

How can mindfulness help us - Hedy Kober

<ol><li>Driving force - Motive. What's your target? It's not your desires because achieving desire as a goal makes us feel "is there all that is for me"... it's the 6 human needs we have - certainity, uncertainty/variety, significance, love/connection, growth, contribution.</li><li>Guiding force - Meaning. Your belief systems that tell you how to get those needs.... by destroying or creating?</li><li>The fuel - We on average only experience 12 of the 6,000 words for human emotions in English language. The quality of our life is the quality of our emotions - our dominant emotions.</li></ol>

3 Forces that make our model of the world

If we can get the right emotions, we can get ourselves to do anything.... determined enough to find the way.<ol><li>What are you going to focus on? (focus = feeling) Focus gives it meaning, & meaning brings out emotions.</li><li>What does it mean? (Is it the end or the beginning). Is it a punishment or a reward? This brings out action.</li><li>What are you going to do? Give up or move forward?</li></ol> If different decisions = different life, then we've all had moments of decision that have shaped us... decided the direction or quality of our life, our destiny.

3 Decisions that shape our destiny

<ul><li>Our leading need decides our direction & so leads to a different destination or destiny. </li><li>The map or beliefs about what needs to be done to meet those needs.</li></ul>6 Human needs-<ol><li>Certainty - Certainty to avoid pain or at least be comfortable.</li><li>Uncertainity - We need variety, surprise, excitement.</li><li>Significance - Feel important, special, unique.</li><li>Connection & love - intimacy, friendship, prayer, walking in nature</li><li>Growth - else, life becomes stagnant.</li><li>Contribute - beyond ourselves. A calling. Life is not about me, but about we.  </li></ol>The last 2 are the needs of the spirit and this is where fulfilment comes.

The 6 human needs

<ol><li>The science of achievement - you take the invisible & make it visible, take your dream & make it happen.</li><li>The art of fulfillment - appreciation & contribution. You can only feel so much by yourself.</li></ol>The defining factor for success or failure is never resources, it's resourcefulness.Resources - Time, money, technology, contacts, experience, management.Resourcefulness - Creativity, determination, love/caring, curiosity, passion, resolve.

2 Master lessons in life

Psychological strength or emotional fitness is the difference that decides the quality of our life, of our ability to perform.2 invisible forces shapes us - <ul><li>Short term - Our physical or emotional state in the moment, like "I can't believe I said that" or "yeah, that was me"... it's not ability, its state.</li><li>Long term - Our model of the world is the filter. Our world view shapes our meaning, emotion, & action. </li></ul>If we want to influence anybody, we need to know what already influences them, 'appreciate' what's driving them...because that's the only way the world's going to change.

Emotional fitness

Decision is the ultimate power... putting your knowledge and understanding into practice.What makes the difference in the quality of people's lives, & their performance? What shapes our ability to contribute - why sometimes people with all end up in despair but those who have gone through the toughest times, overcome those & contribute so much to the greater good?Because, it's your decisions that shape your destiny, not your conditions.But most people think biography is destiny, our past defines our life, our present.

What causes the difference in people's quality of life

Effective leaders can consistently move themselves & others into action because they understand the 'invisible forces' that shape us. Internal drive... emotion is the force of life. It shapes our actions & the results we create. We can rationalise anything, we can make anything happen with our mind.But, we don't work in our self-interest all the time because when emotion comes into the context, the wiring changes.

Invisible forces that shape us

<ol><li>Global beliefs</li><li>Identity</li><li>Values</li><li>Rules</li><li>Vehicles</li><li>Situational specific beliefs</li><li>Metaprograms</li></ol>

7 Categories of beliefs

Find out what drives you? Take the quiz: http://tonyr.co/2kScZ5W Watch Tony's famous TED Talk, with a surprise guest in the audience. Follow Tony Robbins @: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TonyRobbins Twitter: https://twitter.com/tonyrobbins LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ajrobbins Google+: https://plus.google.com/+TonyRobbins Instagram: https://instagram.com/tonyrobbins/ Tony Robbins is a #1 New York Times best-selling author, entrepreneur, and philanthropist. For more than 37 years, millions of people have enjoyed the warmth, humor and dynamic presentation of Mr. Robbins' corporate and personal development events. As the nation's #1 life and business strategist, he¹s called upon to consult and coach some of the world¹s finest athletes, entertainers, Fortune 500 CEOs, and even presidents of nations.

Why We Do What We Do | TED Talks | Tony Robbins

<ul><li>Natural happiness - what we get when we get what we wanted.</li><li>Synthetic happiness - what we make when we don't get what we wanted. It is as real & enduring as natural happiness because our psychological immune system works best when we are stuck.</li><li>Psychological immune system - a set of largely subconscious tools that help us change our views of the world so that we can feel better about the world in which we find ourselves.</li></ul>We synthesize happiness. "I am so much better off", "I believe it turned out for the best", or "I don't have any regrets", but we think of happiness as something to be found.

Psychological immune system & Synthetic happiness

In 2 million years, human brain has nearly trippled in mass, gaining new structures... mainly the prefrontal cortex which most importantly acts as an experience simulator... have experiences in our head before we try them out in real life. No other animal can do this quite like we can.Impact bias is the tendency for this simulator to work badly - things actually have far less impact, less intensity, & much less duration than we expect them to have.

Why Intuition isn't always right

"Our longings and our worries are both to some degree overblown, because we have within us the capacity to manufacture the very commodity we are constantly chasing (happiness) when we choose experience."

Some things are better than others, we should have preferences that lead us to one future over another, but when we over-rate the difference between these futures, we are at risk. When our ambition is unbounded, it leads us to lie, cheat, hurt others, or to sacrifice things of real value. When our fears are bounded, we are prudent, cautious, & thoughtful.

Dan Gilbert, author of "Stumbling on Happiness," challenges the idea that we'll be miserable if we don't get what we want. Our "psychological immune system" lets us feel truly happy even when things don't go as planned.

The surprising science of happiness

Being grateful is an attitude and it ranges from saying 'thank you' when receiving a gift...to a deeper sense of thankfulness for life, looking at life through gratitude glasses - considering everything good or bad in life as a potential gift.Gratitude is the -<ul><li>affirmation of good things in our life existing alongside problems, challenges, & issues. Plus,</li><li>acknowledgement or recognition of the sources of this goodness...where does that goodness come from.</li></ul>Journaling about everything good happening to us is just the beginning... the first step towards making gratitude a way of life.

Gratitude as a way of life

Gratitude has been shown to heal us of past hurts, energize us with hope, & change our life with inspiration for the future.The powerful positive triad of looking at <ul><li>the world, </li><li>at other people, and </li><li>at themselves </li></ul>with an attitude of gratitude brings more positive outcomes for grateful people than ungrateful (less grateful) people.Studies have shown that when it comes to success in life, grateful people tend to be happier, more satisfied, more pro-social... but also more generous, compassionate, forgiving, & helpful.

Benefits of gratitude

Less grateful people -<ul><li>don't get life satisfaction because they can't focus on what life is offering.</li><li>They focus more on resentment...what they are losing out on (scarcity mindset), and life feels like a burden to them.</li></ul>Grateful people do get the feeling of injustice, of being deprived...but on the whole they focus more on the good.It's easier to find less grateful people than ungrateful people because reciprocity... reciprocating with a good deed for something good received... is the general norm, & being called 'ungrateful' is felt as an insult.

Gratitude & life satisfaction

Robert Emmons explains how gratitude has the ability to heal, energize, and change our lives.

High EQ Is a Superpower: Three Habits Signify You've Got It

How to cope when life seems unreal | Psyche Guides

How 10 Best Habits for Success Can Make Your Life Easier

Want To Make Better Decisions? Do This - Darius Foroux

Try these two smart techniques to help you master your emotions

Nandyz Soulshine