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Nandyz Soulshine

@nandita

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www.nandyzsoulshine.com

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Dec 12, 2020

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Benefits of naming emotions exactly
  • Fewer medical intervention needs.
  • Better relationships with family & friends.
  • Better able to choose correct actions in social situations.
  • Less likely to stress drink.
  • Less likely to relataliate aggressively.
  • More flexible regulating emotions
Nandyz Soulshine (@nandita) - Profile Photo

@nandita

🧠

Thinking mind

Try these two smart techniques to help you master your emotions

ideas.ted.com

Why animals fear defenseless humans - WHAT we do
  • They are outnumbered - In heavily populated areas, we have been clearing the landscape which large predators use. The animals that escaped, became wary of humans. A study even showed the sound of humans talking was enough to scare away pumas & smaller predators like bobcats. The human sounds were of people reciting poetry & passages from books.
  • On a brighter note, According to Justin Suraci, lead scientist with an NGO, wild predators' "healthy fear" of humans may help us coexist, "as long as we're conscious about their presence."

Humans are practically defenseless. Why don't wild animals attack us more?

livescience.com

Psychology & Philosophy of Mindfulness

In psychology, mindfulness has 2 components -

  1. Attention - moment to moment experience. Paying attention to the thoughts, feelings, sensations in the present moment.
  2. Attitude - Paying attention to these with an open attitude... with elements of curiosity, acceptance without judgment (good or bad)

It has a long history in Buddhist philosophy and is a part of larger set of practices to reduce suffering and increase enduring happiness. Mindfulness meditation is used to cultivate the state of mindfulness. It does to our mind what exercising does to our body - makes it stronger & more flexible.

How can mindfulness help us - Hedy Kober

youtube.com

3 Forces that make our model of the world
  1. Driving force - Motive. What's your target? It's not your desires because achieving desire as a goal makes us feel "is there all that is for me"... it's the 6 human needs we have - certainity, uncertainty/variety, significance, love/connection, growth, contribution.
  2. Guiding force - Meaning. Your belief systems that tell you how to get those needs.... by destroying or creating?
  3. The fuel - We on average only experience 12 of the 6,000 words for human emotions in English language. The quality of our life is the quality of our emotions - our dominant emotions.

Why We Do What We Do | TED Talks | Tony Robbins

youtube.com

Psychological immune system & Synthetic happiness
  • Natural happiness - what we get when we get what we wanted.
  • Synthetic happiness - what we make when we don't get what we wanted. It is as real & enduring as natural happiness because our psychological immune system works best when we are stuck.
  • Psychological immune system - a set of largely subconscious tools that help us change our views of the world so that we can feel better about the world in which we find ourselves.

We synthesize happiness. "I am so much better off", "I believe it turned out for the best", or "I don't have any regrets", but we think of happiness as something to be found.


The surprising science of happiness

ted.com

Gratitude as a way of life

Being grateful is an attitude and it ranges from saying 'thank you' when receiving a gift...to a deeper sense of thankfulness for life, looking at life through gratitude glasses - considering everything good or bad in life as a potential gift.

Gratitude is the -

  • affirmation of good things in our life existing alongside problems, challenges, & issues. Plus,
  • acknowledgement or recognition of the sources of this goodness...where does that goodness come from.

Journaling about everything good happening to us is just the beginning... the first step towards making gratitude a way of life.

Robert Emmons: The Power of Gratitude

youtube.com

Scatter focus to be more productive

It's not just about fewer distractions but also about the mind being less stimulated.

If we are distracted in each moment, those moments of overstimulation add up to create a life that feels overwhelming

Scatter focus - let your mind deliberately wander, get bored. Boredom is moving from high stimulation to low stimulation - doing something that doesn't take up most of our attention. 

Because of where it wanders to (48% of the time towards the future as shown by research)... the mind connects different ideas & comes up with new plans - essentially makes us more effectively productive.

How to Get Your Brain to Focus | Chris Bailey | TEDxManchester

youtube.com

#1. When someone asks something you’re just not sure about

It can be helpful to buy some time to analyze the situation and figure out what we want exactly. 

  • "I need some time to think. Can we pick this up in half an hour?" Or, "Can we talk about this later today, after I’ve had more time to think about it?”
  • To someone who wants you to go to a dinner that sounds painful: “I’m going to say no to dinner, but I’d love to catch up another time.”
  • To a collague who wants your help beyond your specialty, interest, or duty: "I can’t, unfortunately. But once I finish up my current tasks, I’ll circle back to see if there’s a way I can support you.”

How to deflect nosy questions, stop advice-givers, fend off criticism and more

ideas.ted.com

Myths about liars - what research says about it

According to deception researcher Maria Hartwig, it's a misconception that you can spot a liar by the way they act.

Despite decades of searching, researchers have found little evidence to support belief about liar's behaviors such as - averted gaze, rapid blinking, talking louder, shrugging, fidgeting, stuttering, movement of the hands, arms, or legs, exaggerated yawning, covering the mouth while speaking, whistling, excessive personal grooming .

None proved reliable indicators of a liar.


Why You Can't Spot a Liar Just by Looking

smithsonianmag.com

Prevent burnout working from home
  1. Share responsibilities: Discuss work responsibilities & decide how household work will be shared evenly between partners.
  2. Schedule: Take breaks, keep regular work schedule, intentionally end the workday & disengage.
  3. Exercise: Move regularly, stretch every hour, go for a walk, schedule regular exercise.
  4. Sleep: Aim for quality sleep, follow sleep hygiene.
  5. Socialize: Reach out to friends & colleagues regularly even if on Zoom. It boosts motivation, stimulation, & relaxation.

Recovering From Job Burnout: 31 Ways to Foster Work–Life Balance

positivepsychology.com

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