A beautiful life is not stumbled upon, it is built. It is chosen. It is nurtured over the years. A beautiful life is made from the heart, not the head. It is not immediately comfortable, but grown through the acknowledgment of what is worth being uncomfortable for. It is not one that is easy, it is one that is worth it.

11K likes, 187 comments - Brianna Wiest (@briannawiest) on Instagram: "One day you will realize that true success is not the way things look, but how they feel. And a l..."

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Embrace Discomfort, Find True Success

When you hold on to the need for control, you start to feel responsible for all outcomes of your life. But can you really control what people think of you, or who does or doesn't give you a chance, or who you'll date, or where you'll get a job?You might have some say in these things, but so much of life is unpredictable — and that's part of what makes it beautiful. Unpredictability connects us all.

Struggling For Control Won't Make You Happier

We can't control everything that happens to us, but we can control how we treat ourselves. Allowing ourselves to feel happy, no matter what our life looks like, is the key to real happiness.

1. Stop and reflect.2. Redefine unrealistic expectations you set for yourself.3. Allow yourself to be happy in the present moment.

How To Let Go Of The Desire To Control

Think about all the ways you're focusing on an imaginary future instead of the present.Ask yourself:<ul><li>Do you sometimes let your need to control the future get in the way of you enjoying the present moment? When do you tend to do that, and why?</li><li>It is essential to honor your dreams, but how can you put some of that energy into the most important things in your life today?</li><li>What can you be grateful for right now?</li></ul>

1. Stop and Reflect

Find that voice in your head that keeps reminding you of the need for control. Tell that voice, in no uncertain terms, that you are not living to impress it.Can you imagine living a life where that inner voice is irrelevant? Instead, can you direct that energy towards something that will give you a sense of joy or peace?

2. Redefine Unrealistic Expectations You Set or Yourself

Close your eyes, take three slow breaths, and give yourself permission to feel happy.If you find yourself struggling, think about why that is. I've found that when people think about giving up control and letting life guide them, fear can get in their way. There will always be stressful situations that need your attention, like taking care of the people in your life. But you can let happiness in by shifting your focus from future-oriented fears to the present.You deserve to roll with the life you've got. You deserve to flow with the unexpected and not "have it all together."

3. Allow Yourself to be Happy in the Present Moment

My worst critic is usually the one inside my head. I tend to be happier when I am mindful of it and realize that I don't have to listen.

Many of us believe that we need to be in perfect control of our lives in order to be successful. But that mindset can lead to unhappiness. Jeffrey Marsh, who spent 20 years studying Zen Buddhism, shares how they broke this toxic mental habit.

Embrace Discomfort, Find True Success

I lived as a monk and studied Zen for 20 years—here’s the No. 1 thing people miss when they talk about happiness

Sara O'Connor