In a new study published in the journal Personal Relationships , Alaei and Department of Psychology professors, Geoff Macdonald and Nicholas Rule, found that people's individual attachment styles correspond with the lyrics of their favorite songs. In other words, we tend to return to the tunes that spell out what we're going through in a relationship, for better or for worse.

Attachment Styles parallel to the lyrics of your favourite song

<ul><li>Anxiously attached people worry about being rejected and seek a lot of reassurance about their relationships.</li><li>Avoidant attached people respond to their negative expectations of relationships by closing off emotions and intimacy in favor of independence.</li><li>People with a mixed attachment style have confused expectations, fluctuating between clingy and cold.</li><li>Secure people have optimistic outlooks on relationships, and are open communicators and trust their partners.</li></ul>

4 Main Attachment Styles

According to the University of Toronto study, those who displayed Secure attachment styles favoured tracks that portrayed secure attachment in the lyrics like All of Me by John Legend Anxious attachment styles contrastingly went for songs like Someone like you by AdeleWhile, “Avoidants” chose songs like Irreplaceable by Beyoncé.

Music can be a powerful exacerbator of that because it can stir up deep emotions and memories, thus reinforcing your wounded traumas.

If we’re listening to music that reflects our relationship back at us, is that helping or hindering our relationship skills? 

Understand yourself and those around you.

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New psychology research suggests your favorite songs reveal your attachment style

<ol><li>You must become aware of the gap in your knowledge</li><li>You must desire to resolve the uncertainty by filling the gap in your knowledge</li><li>Lastly, You must seek out information!</li></ol>

What it means to be Curious?

Get comfortable with your uncertainty; don’t shy away from it. Be grateful that you hold misconceptions. It’s an opportunity to learn something new.

I Embrace My Unce

Curious about something? I google it and let myself go down the rabbit holes of online articles about a topic, and following what fascinated me

I tuned in to my “information gaps” and sought to fill it up

Set aside regular time to do some reading about topics you become curious about, or to expand your horizons. You don’t have to read nonfiction. Novels, poetry, and other forms can also inspire your sense of curiosity.

Read 

I made an effort to listen more than I spoke. I started treating my friends and coworkers like teachers that I can learn from if I ask the right questions and listen carefully. Everyone has a piece of stories and wisdom to offer.

Listen more > speaking more

Choose something that excites you and pursue it. It’s worth carving out a few hours each week for this. You’ll love where it leads you.

HarvardX for hundreds of self-paced course

Genuine curiosity is a habit and it will become second nature once you start to cultivate it. Curiosity becomes instinct. You start listening more, being understanding to others deeply, your memory also improves and you retain information better. This is because curiosity is not only a mental state but also an emotion that serves as a powerful energy to urge us to fill gaps in our knowledge. Curiosity is also key to personal growth. When you are curious, you form a deeper connection when you meet someone. Curious people are lifelong learners and they succeed!

What I have learned

We are beyond what Society, Religion, Early Conditioning shapes us. Oftentimes Curiosity does not kill the cat, it liberates us. 

Learn how to think about curiosity as a skill you can improve like any other with effort and goal-setting, and start cultivating this important trait today.

New psychology research suggests your favorite songs reveal your attachment style

How to Cultivate Your Curiosity

Serene Chng