In his own words, here's how Chapman <a href="http://www.any-read.net/read/3814/Pages_2.html">breaks down the five love languages </a>in his book: The five languages are pretty straightforward, but here's a brief description of what each of them mean: <ul><li>Words of affirmation : Expressing affection through spoken affection, praise or appreciation. </li><li>Acts of service : Actions, rather than words, are used to show and receive love. </li><li>Receiving gifts : Gifting is symbolic of love and affection. </li><li>Quality time : Expressing affection with undivided, undistracted attention. </li><li>Physical touch : It can range from having sex to holding hands. With this love language, the speaker feels affection through physical touch. </li> </ul>

When you know what your partner does and doesn't care about, it's a pretty big eye opener. For example, for years, I've been giving my significant other small gifts to show that I care. I put a lot of thought into those gifts, and I loved surprising him. It would piss me off when he'd receive them and just say, "Oh cool, thanks," and then set it aside. That was not the reaction I wanted. By giving him a gift, I was saying, "I care about you," and "oh cool, thanks," is not a good reply to that.

I've found that the concept of love languages helps pretty much any relationship, not just romantic ones. It's useful to understand what matters to people. For example, I used to get angry at my brother for being terrible at keeping in touch. He rarely calls, and it hurt my feelings. But then, we'd get together at family events and have long, meaningful conversations, and everything was great. He'd tell me how much I mean to him, and I'd feel reassured. But then he'd go back to being terrible at keeping in touch, and I'd get my feelings hurt all over again.

Getting to know a person in a romantic relationship is a gradual process. Over time, you learn more and more about them, including their likes and dislikes, and how they think. Later on in a relationship, maybe you've wished your partner could read your mind and know what sets you off, and what you respond well to.

loveandrelationships

Love & Relationships

teamwork

Teamwork

How 'The Five Love Languages' Can Improve Your Relationships

First, to refresh your memory, the five languages are: <ul><li>Words of affirmation </li><li>Acts of service </li><li>Receiving gifts </li><li>Quality time </li><li>Physical touch </li> </ul>If you're not sure which love language your child is most fluent in-and they're over age 9-you can have them <a href="https://www.5lovelanguages.com/profile/?child#discovery-childhttps://www.5lovelanguages.com/profile/?child%23discovery-child">take a quiz online </a>to find out. There are instructions with the quizzes for how to approach it and make it fun, depending on the child's age. (While you're there, you can take one, too.)

The concept of the five love languages is probably not new to you. The idea is that we all give and receive love differently-and those different ways tend to fall into five different categories. Where we get tripped up and disconnected, particularly from a romantic partner, is when we give love through our language but they receive love in a different way.

parenting

Parenting

education

Learning & Education

Connect With Your Kids By Speaking Their 'Love Language'

A class ring. T-shirts with slogans. Tattoos. Pay attention to them because they're usually accurate signs. Here's <a href="https://www.bakadesuyo.com/2014/12/how-to-read-people/">Sam </a>: Now this is all pretty personal. So what about if you're trying to read someone in a professional context? Want to know if someone is good at their job? Then watch them do it for thirty seconds - <a href="https://www.bakadesuyo.com/2011/06/can-you-tell-if-someone-is-good-at-their-job/">or even just six seconds </a>. Your guess about their competence is more likely to be right than wrong: In the 1st study, consensual judgments of college teachers' molar nonverbal behavior based on very brief (under 30 sec) silent video clips significantly predicted global end-of-semester student evaluations of teachers. In the 2nd study, similar judgments predicted a principal's ratings of high school teachers. In the 3rd study, ratings of even thinner slices (6 and 15 sec clips) were strongly related to the criterion variables.

And there's one other thing to listen for while they're yakking. The word "I" can be very telling... <a href="https://www.bakadesuyo.com/2011/08/what-does-your-use-of-the-word-i-say-about-yo/">Powerful people don't say it much </a>. Less powerful people say it the most: (To learn what Harvard research says will make you happier and more successful, click <a href="https://www.bakadesuyo.com/2014/09/be-more-successful/">here </a>.) Okay, so you know when to trust your gut. Now there are a gazillion studies on behavior, so let's focus on reading people to get answers to the questions we all want to know, like... Of course, people trying to deceive or manipulate you are going to fake signals that they are trustworthy.

Before we commence with the festivities, I wanted to thank everyone for helping my first book become a Wall Street Journal bestseller. To check it out, click here. *** We'd all like to learn how to read people like Sherlock Holmes. And research shows understanding things like body language is even more powerful than you might think.

How 'The Five Love Languages' Can Improve Your Relationships

Connect With Your Kids By Speaking Their 'Love Language'

How To Read People: 5 Secrets Backed By Research - Barking Up The Wrong Tree

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