PART ONEI had a hard time getting up early. I used to stay in bed for a long time. Day after day I started getting more irritated because of the pandemic and this lazy schedule. I couldn't stand with how everything around me change and how I changed with all this. After a lot of days of anxiety, one day I grew a conscious. Conscious to clean my bed. Changed my bedsheet and set my bed. Surprisingly that got me to clean my whole room. But since I wasn't doing all the days before, I got tired after this. Went back to laying on my bed again. I started wondering how it used to be before...

Getting Ready For The Day

Wondering about how it was all before got me thinking that the world is changing but I always thought of myself doing something different but that all went away when I noticed no matter how I tried to differentiate there is always someone who's trying to do the same as you do. So the only person I gotta focus is myself. First my body, I've gotten a bit fat. One day I woke up at 1:30 am, after tiring myself by making my bed. Went through a lot of bad thoughts, missing someone thoughts and all. Decided to see where I'm at physically so I started doing push-ups. I did enough to keep myself going.

Getting Ready For The Day Pt2

After doing some exercise, body started sweating. That made me want to take a shower. It was 8am and I had already taken a shower, this is happening after a year. I used to wake up around 11-12 in the morning before. Got hungry, was able to make my breakfast. After my breakfast, started going through my instagram. Noticed there are so many people despite of having no job, still they're working on themselves. That made me wanna learn coding, found a course but after 30mins in, I wasn't feeling it. So I found my artbook. Made one sketch and figured that I can still draw and should do more.

Getting Ready For The Day Pt3

Finding my hobby again made me feel energetic. And was able to finish the 1st hour of the coding course.Now it's 2pm, I was happy to see how hungry I was. Had my lunch and then decided to chill for a while. Saw the clock it was 5.I observed that because of my bad lazy schedule, I wasn't able to socialize properly.I wasn't talking to anyone all this time so I decided to jump back in. I took baby steps at first.Decided to call that one person who is very focused in life and asked him to lend me some novel. He agreed so I went to his place to get the book and we talked for an hour then I got home

Getting Ready For The Day Pt4

Got the book, got home. Found out I wasn't interested at reading the book, I did this just so I could see if I was able to communicate properly. Surprisingly I did well. Decided to spend my free time of 1 hour playing a horror game. Because horror games keeps your nerves going without making you irritated. Had my dinner at 9:30 and watched something for an hour. When I got to my bed to lay for a while, to my surprise I had fallen asleep and woke up the next day around 4am. I was surprised.I stayed in bed thinking about what I did yesterday and decided to do the same.

Getting Ready For The Day Pt5

To my surprise after that first set of push-ups, I kept going, following the same schedule of the day before. This kept both my mind and my body going. And between all this, I was able to see and observe things more carefully and I stopped being selfish and figured that there were so many things I was missing out on.

Getting Ready For The Day Pt6

tarun kalkar on Sep 04

This is one moral question you ask yourself everyday when you've done something wrong to the person you're in a relationship with. No matter how hard it is,if you really love that person and you say you'll do whatever it is to keep the relationship going.You say you don't want to hurt the person.But telling them would hurt them.The right thing to do is you need to forgive yourself first and get rid of the guilt and then only youll do right by the person you're with.Lie to them,make them feel safe but don't do the mistake ever again.Forgive yourself first and if you can't,then you gotta let go.

Should You Lie To The One You Love?

loveandrelationships

Love & Relationships

tarun kalkar on Sep 01

Irony is that you don't.You keep yourself distracted but the thought of them keeps popping up.You try out new things but at the same you feel that you're doing all this just because of them.Whatever you do,after you've broken up or after cutting all ties with the person,all leads back to them.You would think it's a big world out there and yet we couldn't make this work.You try to talk to that person for a day it goes smoothly.You start thinking maybe it can go somewhere.But it never does but all this is just a part of the process.No matter how pathetic it is.Being Pathetic is the first step.

tarun kalkar on Sep 04

tarun kalkar on Sep 01

tarun kalkar on Aug 30

tarun kalkar