When you immediately try and get rid of your anxiety by applying coping skills to make it go away, you teach your brain to view anxiety as dangerous. So stop coping with your anxiety and learn to accept it.

Stop trying to cope with anxiety

If you always outsource your emotional struggles to others, you deprive yourself of the opportunity to be confident.A big part of emotional maturity—and the confidence that results from—comes from taking responsibility for your own feelings.

Avoid reassurance-seeking

3. Put the breaks on catastrophizingEven if you know intellectually that the worst case isn’t likely to happen, if you constantly tell yourself it is, that’s how you’ll feel.﻿It’s difficult to feel confident if you’re constantly worrying and anxious. And catastrophizing is like turbo-charged worry, which means it’s even harder for your confidence to shine through.

Put the breaks on catastrophizing

It’s hard to feel confident in yourself when you’re constantly denying yourself.Some self-denial is perfectly healthy. But if you’ve gotten into the habit of always denying your own wants and needs, it shouldn’t be a surprise that you don’t feel very confident asking for what you want, going after what you want, or even knowing what you want in the first place.

Quit hiding from what you really want

A good way to never feel confident is to always be failing. And a good way to always be failing is to always be trying to control the uncontrollable.Of course, it’s often hard to distinguish what we can control from what we can’t—especially if we really want to be able to control it…

Let go of things you can’t control

<ul><li>Low confidence leads to second-guessing, but second-guessing also leads to low confidence. </li><li>Stop second-guessing yourself in the moment and schedule time to do it deliberately. </li><li>Confidence and humility are not mutually exclusive. </li></ul>

Second-guessing yourself

When you respect yourself enough to maintain good boundaries, confidence is the natural result. Confidence rests on the foundation of self-respect. And self-respect comes from setting (and enforcing!) healthy boundaries that protect your wants, needs, and values. But enforcing your boundaries requires that you tolerate difficult emotions like anxiety rather than making decisions designed to avoid them.So if you want to feel more confident, start setting and protecting healthy boundaries, which means being willing to be with rather than avoid tough emotions.

Compromising on your boundaries

You can be critical without criticizing. When you criticize yourself in response to a mistake, you create an unrealistic view of yourself that’s almost always too negative. And, unsurprisingly, this isn’t great for your confidence.

If you’re constantly reliving past mistakes in your head, it’s going to be tough to feel confident about yourself in the present.Give yourself permission to let it go. And then work like hell to keep letting it go, each time it comes up. Forgiveness is a commitment, not a decision.

Dwelling on past mistakes

Your feelings will lead you in the wrong direction at least as often as the right one. Listen to your emotions, but don’t trust them blindly. Treat your emotions like a friend. When they give you advice, listen to it. But be prepared to reject it or ignore it if it’s not good advice.Like a friend, emotions are close to you and worthy of your respect and attention. But that doesn’t mean they’re infallible and that you just follow them blindly.

Trusting your feelings

If you want to feel more confident, start thinking about what habits you have that are interfering with your confidence, then work to remove them.<ul><li>Coping with anxiety</li><li>Reassurance-seeking</li><li>Catastrophizing</li><li>Not asking for what you really want</li><li>Trying to control things you can’t control</li><li>Second-guessing yourself</li><li>Compromising on your boundaries</li><li>Criticizing yourself after mistakes</li><li>Dwelling on past mistakes</li><li>Trusting your feelings</li></ul>Don’t try and do all of these at once. Pick one that applies to you and your life especially well and focus on making small improvements there first.

All You Need to Know

Self-confidence is a feeling of trust in your abilities, qualities, and judgment. Research suggests that confidence is important to health and psychological well-being. Learn how to be more confident and some of the benefits of increasing your trust and belief in yourself.

If you want to feel more confident, focus on eliminating habits that interfere with the confidence you've already got.

Understand yourself and those around you.

psychology

Psychology

personaldevelopment

Personal Development

mentalhealth

Mental Health

communication

Communication

10 Habits You Should Give Up to Feel More Confident

The first step toward becoming more assertive is taking inventory of how you voice your thoughts and feelings. Do you use a passive or aggressive communication style?

Assess your communication style

Find yourself automatically saying yes to things without thinking about it? If you tend to do this, Phelan recommends having some go-to phrases when you’re faced with a request or invitation you aren’t that into.

Plan your response ahead of time

If you find yourself feeling guilty when you try to assert yourself, keep in mind that saying no to a request doesn’t mean you’re rejecting the person .

Don’t let guilt get in the way

It’s hard to practice being assertive when you’re in the moment. That’s why Rose recommends mentally pumping up yourself with <a href="https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/self-talk">positive self-talk </a>.It might sound corny, but if you’re about to have a conversation where you know you’ll have to put your foot down, hype yourself up with positive thoughts of “I’ve got this” or “My time is important.”

Use positive self-talk

If your heart starts racing at the mere thought of placing a boundary, take a moment to breathe deeply, especially if you feel aggression starting to take over.“Breathing will calm the brain and the body and help ground yourself, making it easier to come back to your intentions,” Rose adds.

Take time to breathe

Communication isn’t just verbal. Before going into a stressful situation or a difficult conversation, Rose recommends adopting an assertive body stance that makes you feel more confident and powerful.What does that look like? Stand up straight, rolling your shoulders back. Maintain regular eye contact and a neutral facial expression.

Embody an assertive stance

If you have a big issue you’re trying to address, consider role-playing with a trusted friend by practicing different conversation styles. Write it down, then say what you want to say aloud.Remember to ask for feedback about how clear you’re coming across, and how the other person might see the situation.Pay attention to how they respond to your tone of voice and body language. Are you communicating without becoming shy or hostile? Evaluate yourself afterward. Tweak your approach according to their input.

Rehearse with someone you know and trust

Without a healthy and balanced sense of self-worth, you’ll likely keep accepting less from others, or end up giving more than you receive.“If you don’t believe in yourself, it’ll be hard for someone else to believe in you or give you want you want,” Rose says.

Believe in your worth

If putting down boundaries feels aggressive or uncomfortable for you, consider this scenario: Your boss is constantly piling work on your desk without checking in on whether you can take more projects.An aggressive response would be blowing up at your boss in a meeting or demanding that someone else do the work.An assertive response, on the other hand, would be scheduling a meeting with your boss to discuss a new system for assigning work, or coming up with ways to better delegate responsibilities.

Set actionable boundaries

If all of this sounds a bit daunting, consider starting with some small exercises to help you practice being more assertive in low-risk situations.

Start small

If you’re finding it hard to practice being more assertive, consider talking things out with a <a href="https://www.healthline.com/health/therapy-for-every-budget">qualified therapist </a>for additional support. Underlying factors, including stress and anxiety, can make it particularly hard to ask for what you need.A therapist can help you identify roadblocks and come up with new tools for navigating around them.

Get outside help

Assertiveness can help you control stress and anger and improve coping skills. Recognize and learn assertive behavior and communication. Being assertive is a core communication skill. Assertiveness can help you express yourself effectively and stand up for your point of view.

Have a hard time putting your foot down and asking for what you need? These 11 tips can help you be more assertive in any situation.

10 Habits You Should Give Up to Feel More Confident

11 Ways To Be More Assertive

Turhan Can KARGIN