Are We Able To Control Our Own Emotions? - Personal Advice - Deepstash
Are We Able To Control Our Own Emotions? - Personal Advice

Are We Able To Control Our Own Emotions? - Personal Advice

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We are not able to control our emotions. It is a never-ending battle we will never win.



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Most people try to control their emotions and wonder why this strategy doesn't work.

For example: On earth we are surrounded by oxygen. A chemical element that we can neither see, smell nor taste. Nevertheless, we are permanently surrounded by oxygen and we need it to survive. When we try to fight and control our emotions it's like trying to remove oxygen from earth, even though we need it to survive.

We are observers of our own emotions. They are not to be judged as "good" or "bad." There are no bad or good emotions.


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How do we cope?

We know that oxygen is all around us and that it is permanently present. We accepted that we need it in order to survive and we are aware of its existence. We do not judge oxygen as "good" or "bad", we are simply aware that it is there. However, we are able to control how we react to our emotions.

So we do not control our emotions, since they are simply existing and to be considered as being neutral. Therefore, our reaction to these emotions determines how we evaluate them and how we make decisions.


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When we experience an uncomfortable emotion, we usually respond with: "This doesn't feel good, I don't want this because it makes me feel bad." - this emotion is bad

So why do we feel not good now? Because of the emotion? Nope! We have felt an emotion and evaluated it immediately "negative." The way we formulated "not good, bad feeling = bad emotion" triggered a negative experience. The emotion itself didn't do anything at all! It was the thought that controlled our reaction to the emotion.


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Time gap

There is a small gap between "emotion" and "thought." The key is to become aware of this small gap and observe the emotion first instead of judging it. We should learn to be the observer of our emotions and then decide how to react to them. Therein lies our power. At the end, it makes the difference between self-control and impulsivity. The small gap in time decides which path we take.

In other words, do we accept that we need oxygen to breathe, or do we fight a never-ending battle?


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Software Developer


That's just my personal perspective. You choose what to do with it! Hopefully, I was able to provide another point of view with this thought experiment and that it helps one or the other to cope with their own emotions.

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