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There are three primary forms of happiness, the happiness of pleasure, the happiness of grace and the happiness of excellence. The happiness of pleasure is largely sensory like a hug, a good meal when hungry or the smell of air after it rains. The happiness of grace is gratitude, its basically like taking inventory of what you do have. The happiness of excellence is like falling in love with the hike, the meaningful work and its flow, this builds character."
Nobody-not one of us-knows "what we are doing with our lives." We can summarise the big picture, not yet. We don't know what we'll be doing in 5 years from now, and pretending that we can predict that isn't being responsible or ambitious, its cutting ourselves off and living according to our inner navigation systems as aooped to the narrative we once thought would be right.
Lots and lots of red won't make the color blue. Lots of pleasure won't make you whole.
1. They don't believe that every feeling they have means something. Or every feeling is true.
2. They aren't threatened by not being right. They understand that having misinformed belief or an incorrect idea does not invalidate them as a person.
3. They dont use logic to deny their emotions. They validate their feelings by acknowledging them.
4. They dont compare people and assume something is about them.
5. They dont need to prove their power.
6. They don't avoid pain even if they are afraid of it.
7. They do not seek out other peoples flaws in an effort to diminish their strengths.
8. They don't complain too much
A. Its a form of affirmation
B. They want others to validate their pain.
9. They do not filter out certain aspects of an experience to catastrophize it.
10. They don't consider themselves a judge of what is right or wrong.
11. They do not draw general conclusions from their personal experiences.
12. They don't change their personality based on who they are with.
13. They can stand up for themselves without being aggressive or defensive. Aggressiveness and defensiveness are a sign of insecurity.
14. The don't assume that this is always the way their life will be.
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