Pandemic Phrases That Have Infected Our Vocabulary

Emaskulation, n. | Definition: A mental condition experienced by some adolescents and adults, primarily male-identified, characterized by the delusion that taking steps to limit the transmission of COVID-19 (e.g., wearing a mask, social distancing) will diminish their strength, vigor and overall standing among peers. It may be an aspect of chronic insecurity, denialism and/or aggressive indifference to the well-being of others. “Stan always refuses hand sanitizer —He'd rather get Covid than suffer from emaskulation.”

Hand distinction(system), n. | Definition: The act of designating one hand (or finger, in which case we call it “finger distinction”) to touch “outside,” potentially coronavirus-infected surfaces when you’re in public. Generally, one hand is designated the “touching hand” and the other is reserved for more hygienic purposes, such as scratching an itch on your person. Example: “Oh no! I screwed up my hand distinction system.adjusting my glasses with the hand I just used to grab the grocery cart!”

Maskne, n. | Definition: Acne resulting from excessive mask-wearing — often occurs if mask has not been laundered or switched out enough."Skincare companies should start making products dedicated to maskne"

— S.L.

Masky-matchy, adj. | Definition: Used to describe a fashionable person whose mask and outfit match. “Those white Vans are so masky-matchy with that white mask!”

Outdoor setup, n. | Definition: The facilities you have created or amassed for outdoor socializing throughout the COVID-19 period “Between our fire pit and portable home theater,we’ve got a killer outdoor setup on our patio.”

Pandemic pet, n. | A dog, cat, bird, hamster or other cute pet similar to the thousands of animals that people acquired after the pandemic emptied offices and stay-home orders resulted in people working from home for months. “The run on people going out to get pandemic pets emptied animal shelters — one of the few silver linings of the coronavirus pandemic.”

Plans, n., pl. | A historical term used to describe social engagements people in the Before Times were able to make with other people — frequently in public, among crowds of other humans. “Who has plans any more?”

Going out, v. | a historical term that in the Before Times used to mean to carry on a regular romantic or sexual relationship. Now seldom used because with the advent of Covid the only welcome definition of 'going out' is to be able to leave the home. "He was going out with my best friend"

Quaranteen, n. | Definition: Young people who have spent some part of their teenage years in lockdown or quarantine (see: “quarantine”) during the pandemic. Used by adults in a plaintive manner; used by quaranteens with an air of bragging about how much harder they’ve had it than their parents did when they were teenagers. “Mom, you can’t keep taking our devices away! We’re quaranteens, there’s literally nothing else to do!”

Real pants, outdoor pants, human pants, n. | Pants that are made of any rigid, binding material such as denim or khaki, that we once wore every day in the Before Times and no longer remember why. The opposite of soft pants: forgiving, loosefitting garments in unobstructive knits, worn with sudden regularity beginning in March 2020 (e.g., pajama bottoms, leggings, sweatpants, joggers).

“I had to take the dog out for a walk so I finally changed out of my soft pants into real pants. It was awful.”

The ’Rona, n. | Yet another colloquial term for the terrible coronavirus. Example: “Send Jack a get well soon text.I heard he's got the 'Rona”

Socially distanced meetup, n. | An outdoor date or hangout where you and one other person or a small group of friends socialize outside and at a distance while wearing masks. Usually occurs at a park or in a backyard. “I’m seeing some friends today for a socially distanced meetup where we won’t be hugging or high-fiving and plan to reminisce about life before the pandemic the whole time.”

Superspreader, n. | Person or event who, or that, through negligence, triggers a COVID-19 outbreak. “Bob’s Thanksgiving dinner became a superspreader event when batty Aunt Barb brought her entire book club and everyone shared food and no one wore masks! Now they all have COVID-19!”

Takeout, n. | Going to a restaurant to pick up food so that you don’t have to cook dinner. The default dining-out option in the COVID-19 era. “Let’s go get takeout tonight. Whaddya want? Pizza? Burgers? Noodles?”

Zoom, n. | The company that provides a video conferencing platform. It zoomed — pun fully intended! — into public consciousness as the coronavirus pandemic forced the aforementioned hordes of office workers into work-from-home mode in March 2020. To be used as a verb or noun, akin to the noun/verb “Google.”

“Let’s Zoom later today to talk about your investment.”

Before Times, n. | Definition: Denotes a time before the coronavirus pandemic and multiple crises: attempted insurrections, civil rights movements and climate crises — that have piled on since the pandemic began. “Remember back in the Before Times when we used to just casually touch door handles?”

Herd Immunity, n. | According to the World Health Organization, it "is the indirect protection from an infectious disease that happens when a population is immune either through vaccination or immunity developed through previous infection." It is also known as population immunity. 

"People who do not want to get vaccinated are the ones preventing herd immunity from happening."

Quarantini, n.| A mashup of "quarantine" and "martini," this is any cocktail you mix at home  instead of going out to a bar. It's a word that also showed up on a lot of restaurants' new takeout menus in places where to-go cocktails became legal. "I like my quarantiji shaken, not stirred"

Long Haulers, n. adj | A term used to describe people who experience COVID-19 symptoms for months after being diagnosed, and long after subsequently testing negative. "That long hauler has been sick for 2 months now."