9 Subtle Lies We All Tell Ourselves - Deepstash

deepstash

Beta

Deepstash brings you key ideas from the most inspiring articles like this one:

Read more efficiently

Save what inspires you

Remember anything

9 Subtle Lies We All Tell Ourselves

https://markmanson.net/9-subtle-lies-we-all-tell-ourselves

markmanson.net

9 Subtle Lies We All Tell Ourselves
There was also a period of time when I was convinced that my ex-girlfriend left me because I wasn't good enough for her and so I had to prove myself to every woman I ever met. But after a lot of overcompensation around other women, I eventually realized that I was fine and much better off without her.

2

Key Ideas

Save all ideas

<p>By lying to ourselves we mo...

By lying to ourselves we mortgage our long-term needs in order to fulfill our short-term desires. Therefore, one could say personal growth is merely the process of learning to lie to oneself less.  - Mark Manson

143 SAVES

287 READS

VIEW

Common lies we tell ourselves

Common lies we tell ourselves
  • If I had more time, I would do X.
  • If I say or do X, people will think I’m stupid.
  • If I just say or do X, then that person will finally change.
  • Everything is great/Everything sucks.
  • There’s something inherently wrong or different about me.
  • I would change, but I can’t because of X.
  • I can’t live without X.
  • I know what I’m doing.

263 SAVES

435 READS

SIMILAR ARTICLES & IDEAS:

Productivity and Pursuing Wealth

We are obsessed with the idea that our potential for happiness is intricately tied to our freedom to pursue wealth. We think we must work harder and longer than the majority if we’re to amass a for...

Productivity and Effectiveness

Efficiency does not necessarily guarantee effectiveness. Getting more done is not an accurate barometer for measuring your impact. Consider whether you’re being effective in achieving what you actually want. 

Think about what it is you’re really seeking and what might be the most direct path to get it. Then realize that sometimes doing less can actually pave the path to experiencing more—more satisfaction, more ease, and even more effectiveness.

Productivity and Happiness

Research suggests that happiness leads to success, not the other way around. It would benefit us to shift our focus from achieving future happiness to accessing that joy right now.

When we wrap our days around things we have to do we leave very little time for the things we want to do. Happiness requires balance.

one more idea

Fear of standing out

Our greatest fear is not that we are not special enough; our greatest fear is that we are too special. It is our brilliance, not our deficiencies that often frighten us most. 

Do...

Fear of not being good enough yet

There will never be a perfect time to pursue your dreams and goals.

You’re growing every day. You just have to find a way of living with uncertainty and learn to feel your way through life, letting your intuition guide you.

Fear life’s daily storms

Sometimes life gets so hard that you don’t want to get out of bed in the morning. But sometimes life is beautiful.

Realize that fear is the worst of it; fear is your real enemy. So get up, get out in the stormy weather of the real world, and kick fear as hard as you can.

Go Sooner Than Later

Most couples don't consider counseling until a real crisis or a catastrophe appears.

It is better to go to couples counseling during a specific life event, strengthening some piece of a rela...

Finding The Right Therapist

Finding a suitable therapist, right for both the partners can take time. Take into consideration:

  • Both partners are comfortable with the choice.
  • Any preferences (gender or cultural background) are taken into account.
  • It should be convenient to schedule an appointment with him, not interfering with other commitments too much.
  • At least two kinds of counselors are spoken to, and then a decision taken.
  • Check online for recommendations or ask for a referral within your friend circle.

Types of Therapies

A good therapist can utilize multiple approaches and will tailor the provided therapy based on the couple's needs. The common therapies are:

  • Gottman Method: Focused on positive communication
  • Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT): helps couples with their emotional needs.
  • Imago Relationship Therapy: Connecting new relationships with old ones.
  • Other approaches like Hypnosis, sex therapy, etc.