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9 Subtle Lies We All Tell Ourselves
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By lying to ourselves we mortgage our long-term needs in order to fulfill our short-term desires. Therefore, one could say personal growth is merely the process of learning to lie to oneself less. - Mark Manson
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Common lies we tell ourselves
- If I had more time, I would do X.
- If I say or do X, people will think I’m stupid.
- If I just say or do X, then that person will finally change.
- Everything is great/Everything sucks.
- There’s something inherently wrong or different about me.
- I would change, but I can’t because of X.
- I can’t live without X.
- I know what I’m doing.
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Fear of standing out
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Go Sooner Than Later
Most couples don't consider counseling until a real crisis or a catastrophe appears.
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Finding The Right Therapist
Finding a suitable therapist, right for both the partners can take time. Take into consideration:
- Both partners are comfortable with the choice.
- Any preferences (gender or cultural background) are taken into account.
- It should be convenient to schedule an appointment with him, not interfering with other commitments too much.
- At least two kinds of counselors are spoken to, and then a decision taken.
- Check online for recommendations or ask for a referral within your friend circle.
Types of Therapies
A good therapist can utilize multiple approaches and will tailor the provided therapy based on the couple's needs. The common therapies are:
- Gottman Method: Focused on positive communication
- Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT): helps couples with their emotional needs.
- Imago Relationship Therapy: Connecting new relationships with old ones.
- Other approaches like Hypnosis, sex therapy, etc.