How to set an effective boundary - Deepstash

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On Boundaries

On Boundaries

  • Boundaries are statements that make you feel safe and comfortable in your relationships. They can be either behaviors or statements
  • Some people think of boundaries as saying no or cutting people off, but there are 1,000 other boundaries we can set before cutting someone off.
  • There's a lot of space that you can give both yourself and the other person when you're putting in a boundary. In general, we feel best when people do as we do.
  • It's important to acknowledge that boundaries are preferences. They are not a rule, they are just what we choose to do.


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Disrespecting boundaries

When people habitually disrespect our boundaries, we have to try something different.

A solution to this is to not tell this person anything that's secret because they've demonstrated that they cannot respect that boundary.


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Boundaries and Relationships

  • Especially when you're putting up a boundary with someone that you love and that you really care for, you're changing the way that something's going to go. You're changing a dynamic.
  • You have to grieve the loss of who you thought that person could be for you and reconstruct what's possible with the person that you actually have.
  • Usually, when a person isn't respecting your boundaries it's because they can't. It is really on us to change the way in which we engage.


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