How To Heal Emotional Wounds & Trauma

Oprah Winfrey: people are as dysfunctional, as unhappy, as disoriented in their lives based on how far they are from the centre of themselves. And the centre is where wholeness lies. Where there is no centre and sense of wholeness and love for yourself, there is going to be disarray, chaos, confusion, disfunction in life. People behave based on how they were loved, and they were able to process that in a way to love other people.

As we grow up we pick up craps from this world and carry that baggage with us all our lives. We carry those traumas and pains that people have done to us. And now it's ours to deal with. We have to own it. It's now ours to fix the problem that people gave us. That makes no sense and it's not fair but if we keep living in the 'Always Me' mentality we will never come out of our traumas.

We have such potential to heal ourselves. We are our own healers. Look inside of you and ask the voice inside of you and it will answer all the questions.

People suffer because they are living in a denial stage. The more the resistance the more pain it brings along with it. The first step towards healing is to acknowledge and be truthful about it. Awareness comes when we ask ourselves some crucial questions like—

• What are the memories that are stuck with me?
• Where it came from?
• Why I'm feeling the way I'm feeling?
• What are the triggers?

When we ask ourselves questions we finally allow ourselves with an opportunity to understand ourselves and others around us.

To understand is to deeply analyze the situation from a different and unbiased point of view. Often our traumas are led by deep rooted anger, frustration and shame. These are buried deep inside our traumas and facing them is difficult. The whole process of facing and understanding them should be gentle. Don't put yourself in a position where you're gonna blow out your system with too much digging too fast.

It is likely that after going through a traumatic experience we thought of that experience in one way, in the same way our whole life.

When we experience trauma we feel disembodied, we close up ourselves and build a fortress around us to protect us from experiencing that samepain again. But little do we know that the protector part of us is not actually protecting us, it's deepening the wounds but it looks like it's protecting us.

Self compassion and compassion for others will liberate you from the pain. Learn to put yourself in the shoes of others, ask why they did what they did. Love for yourself is a huge part in healing that inner child within.

Easier said than done, it's difficult to forgive, it feels so wrong but it's the one right thing you can do. It's in your hand. The more we hold onto something, old grudges, pain the harder it gets to let go because even if the incident is in the past we're carrying the baggage of it in our present moment. It weighs on you and hurts you more than the person who did it to you. The most freeing thing to do is to forgive yourself and to forgive others.

We all know that Growth happens outside of our comfort zones. Similar is all the hardship we experience in life. Every experience and pain is a leverage for your growth. Every little discomfort makes you a more stronger, better version of yourself.

We can look into the experience for what we've gained from it. Everything in life is for us, it's happening for us not to us to make us more resilient.

Every single event change us or change our worldview for better or for worse. Similar for our experiences. Every single event change us. We can always rewrite our stories with more love and compassion. We can always rewrite our limiting beliefs with a much more positive outlook and growth mindset for the betterment of our lives and in a way that serves us.

Fame isn't what you think of yourself, it's what other people think of you. If you come into that & you don't have a grounded centered self you'll be controlled by the outside instead of the inside. If you come in to fame not in the fullness of knowing who you are or what you're supposed to do with that fame, whenever somebody like you or doesn't like you that determines whether or not you're having a good day or bad day & you have lost control of your own life. What fame teaches you is to grow the wholeness within yourself so that you are not controlled by other's outside opinions of you.

As humans we have a desire to remain in the familiar. All of the things that happened in the beginning to us begins to lay down pathways. We have all of these patterned routes that many of us have been rehearsing since birth. Usually this begins out of pain, out of experiences where we had to adapt. They have long term consequences but usually in the immediate we're avoiding something, some form of pain or discomfort or we're attempting to feel loved or connected. Anything out of this bound can feel threatening. Those patterns are what feels safest keeping us stuck in those patterns.

Sometimes you do horrible things to your child and later you reason that out by saying you're doing this out of love but deep down you know it's not true, something is broken inside you that still needs fixing.

You think you're protecting your children or being okay when you're doing destructive things around your young children. They don't have the language but they are taking in the energy and frequency and they're absorbing it all.

So please be mindful of yourself, be mindful when dealing with kids. Because what happens in the tender age is going to dictate the rest of their lives.