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You sure have seen it in almost every movie, a nerd or book-smart person has trouble finding love. But like Drew Barrymore in Never Been Kissed or Leonard Hofstadter in The Big Bang Theory, they eventually find love.
But of course, real life is quite different from what you see in the movies. So, what is the problem? Why do intelligent people seem to have difficulties finding love?
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You need to be aware that there are several types of intelligence. There are book smart, street smart, diligent individuals, and so on. To be sensitive can sometimes also mean to be emotionally intelligent. It's about understanding what kind of smart you are.
The problem lies when you're street smart and have a more skeptical view of love. Given your firsthand and secondhand experience, you may even be bitter about love. And when you're a nerd, you barely notice your surroundings and fail to recognize emotions that are happening and therefore miss out on love.
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Communication is the most crucial key to any relationship. It doesn't work in any other way. So how does intelligence play a part in this?
The Big Bang Theory may only be a sitcom that stereotypes intelligence gaps in a romantic setting. But the message they send is crystal clear. Even the smartest person in the group, Sheldon Cooper, needs to build his communications skills to keep his relationship with Amy Farah-Fowler.
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Many people will take a couple with similar educational backgrounds as a good match. But there are many examples of couples with intelligence gaps between them further away from the public eye.
These couples work around those gaps by having good communication skills or better managing their emotions. At any rate, intelligence may be one of the reasons for you to pursue a relationship. But it shouldn't be the only reason to stay in a relationship.
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Have you ever wondered if Tinder for intelligent people exists? Do highly intelligent individuals meet at MENSA conventions? Does dating a smart person mean you have to fill out a questionnaire on your habit and preferences like signing up on a dating website?
There seems to be an endless list of possibilities on how smart people can find love. The answer is that intelligent people find love the same way as other people. It can start as a workplace romance or a meeting through a hobby or even a family event. They can even meet through a dating website.
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The possibility is endless since love can be a myriad of things. Smart people can use their intelligence to coin new terms or define love like the one they need. But in the end, they will go through the traditional route to find love.
When you're looking for a life partner, you sure want someone whose intelligence matches yours. But rather than focusing on the intelligence gap, you should focus on how you two communicate to ensure the relationship's longevity. After all, love is about having the same footing and equilibrium between you and your partner.
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CURATOR'S NOTE
This article is very interesting to understand the topic.
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Learn more about psychology with this collection
Understanding the psychological rewards of bad habits
Creating new habits to replace old ones
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